I KNOW THAT I AM UGLY AND EVERY BITCH THAT SAYS I AM NOT IS NOT BEING HONEST! AND I KNOW THAT I CAN NEVER TRUST HER! I WILL NOT SEND ANY MONEY TO ANYONE THAT I CAN NOT TALK TO IN-PERSON! The first time that I went to school I got a great education. The first thing that I learned is that I AM UGLY! Most of my life experience has been Rejection. Attractive people have NO CLUE how painful rejection can be. I believe that a broken neck is better than a broken heart. The only acceptance has been with my family, until eventually, one by one, every member of my family has betrayed my trust and my birthright. My father was the only person that loved me. He left me property. Only after his death did I realize that I was a terrible , and I will regret that for the rest of my life. Many times I have given my heart, now many pieces of my heart are scattered on the floor like glass from a broken window. How many times can a window be broken? Copyright 2024 Paul H. Wilson II Trust is very difficult for me as I have been traumatized by betrayal. My love has cost me my Soul and now seems to be nothing more than a detrimental emotion. I wanted to believe in Faith and Hope. Now I am losing those beliefs. One belief that I still hold is that Love is the only thing worth living for. I miss the summer when we met. I miss the summer when you came to see me every day. I miss the summer when we played pool together every night. I miss the summer when you said that I was your only friend. I miss the summer when you made me feel special. I miss the summer when I fell in love with you. Now I miss You. Copyright 2023 Paul H. Wilson II This is the only poem that I have ever written, so far, and the woman that inspired it, couldn't care any less. All of my efforts, sacrifices and love for nothing. This was a woman that I fell in love with 20 years after the end of my marriage. There was a time that I never wanted to say no to her when she asked me for anything. I thought that I knew what love was after I was married. However, I eventually discovered that I was gravely mistaken. I once saw love in my wife's eyes. She was not looking at me at the time. After that event, I saw only resentment and hatred in her eyes every time that she looked at me. I realized that there was nothing that I could ever say or do to get my wife to love me. It has now been about 22 years since I last saw her. It is very sad that most people never find the happiness that they seek. More often then not, those that do find that happiness, becomes unexpectedly short lived. Like a friend of mine found the perfect man. She was so happy. Suddenly he died just 2 years later. Another friend of mine lost her husband of 17 years. For 2 years she would not accept her loss and split into multiple personalities to hide from her pain. She just wanted to believe that her husband will soon be home. I imagine that from these points of view, it is better to be alone than to spend the rest of your life missing the life that you once had.

My Ideal Person Is a woman that wants to hear everything that I want to say. Nothing will be more important to me then listening to EVERYTHING that she wants to say to me. She will always value my opinions and suggestions as I will always value her opinions and suggestions. She will always encourage, inspire and support me as I will her. She will not criticize everything that I say and do as I would not criticize her.
In the end it doesn't really matter. When a woman sees my ugly face she don't give a dam about my heart & soul. She will not care that I will be willing to give her Everything. She will not care that I will make our relationship all about Her. She will not care that....well it just doesn't matter. I am too ugly. End of story. I will be so very happy when I am finally dead.