She is the most beautiful woman, within and without, that he ever met. She is life-loving, open, creative, confident, cosmopolitan, interested in everything, travelled, attentive, athletic, thoughtful, knowlegeable, able, ambitious -- in the most innocent and charming way - with a sense of humor that is almost sexual in its sources. I'll stop here in spite of the fact that I suspect I'm negelecting to mention a dozen other qualities you might love even more than those in the foregoing litany, except to mention that, shockingly, unlike almost anyone as accomplished and thoughtful as she, she is also happy, and her happiness is infectious -- even I'm infected with it. To see her walk, or even better, to see her run, is the most heart-wrenching thing he ever witnessed. The beatific look on her face when she is surrounded by stiff cocks is something only Bernini could have hoped to portray. He is an intellectual tradesman with one foot always on the gunwale, and no idea why his readiness to jump hasn't already caused him to fall. His is a wit rooted in the absurd, sometimes (ok, perhaps often) somehow cruel, but not inspired by malice -- more out of an appreciation for the objective scope of the terrain than a wish to maim. We'd like to meet other couples who share our intellectual and aesthetic interests, if possible, though we're equally content learning about those of others. Our ideal sexual playmates would be witty, humane, cultivated and beautiful -- that still leaves a lot of room for diversity.

My Ideal Person We are open to a vast sea of sexual possibility and prefer others who aren't constrained by suburban imaginations -- though they may certainly reside where they please. We like to fuck in groups, with other couples and with single (or better, multiple) other men and women. We prefer situations in which all present enjoy the full (ok, perhaps that's a bit strong, but we can negotiate that shoal when we strike it) exploration of the bodies they're fucking and kissing, though we know how to derive pleasure from almost anyone, and to give it as well -- not that we necessarily want to prove that. Like most of us, we want to fuck people who are beautiful, but we have a pretty broad sense of what that means -- by that we mean that we are not fetishistic about the particular forms in which we locate beauty, not that we do not expect you to be beautiful. We don't necessarily want to go gallery-hopping with you (much though we might like that), but we wouldn't mind meeting people who've seen some of the same exhibitions or read the same books that we have, or even better, seen more interesting exhibitions and read more arcane books than we have; in a worst-case scenario, we'd at least like there to be a reasonable chance that what interests us interests you. We're abroad fairly often, so we aren't always communicado --and we aren't always the most reliable correspondents, in any case. That said, if we fail to respond to an overture, it probably means that we are not interested: don't you respond promptly when you've been contacted by someone who interests you? Of course, messages do fall by the wayside for any number of reasons, so if you know you're wonderful and we seem not to have noticed, we're certainly not averse to a follow-up message, in fact, we'll thank you for the opportunity to redress our neglect. Our ideal situation would be one in which a number of similarly-minded couples were often at our disposal (and we at theirs) and in which our occasionally errupting sexual desires punctuated wonderful conversation, meals, romanesque lounging, etc. Although it's highly probable we'll fuck a lot of less-than-ideal partners, we are dedicated to the eventual discovery of the "happy few." The people we tend to like have books and art in their homes, but we're also happy to meet people who just create them. In case we haven't distilled what we really crave: we want people somehow like us. We look nice, we're relaxed (most of the time), we always want to fuck, we like to talk about, or even argue about, the most important things, which to us are life and art and love. We'd love to meet people we can wake up with and fuck some more, and then eat and talk and fuck again. SINGLE MEN PLEASE NOTE: we are very interested in you, but only if you are bisexual to at least some modest degree; otherwise, we encourage you not to waste your time approaching us unless you have something quite unusual to propose; in case you aren't aware of the fact, you usually don't. CHATTERS PLEASE NOTE: we almost never accept a chat request from a party who has not first communicated with us by mail unless we are extremely horny and looking for immediate companionship, which, to be honest, happens often enough. Single straight men needn't bother at all unless their profile is extremely captivating (again, most of yours are not). If we should accept your chat request, please don't subject us to the whole "how are you, I am fine" routine, but begin with something more interesting and to the point. We will not be offended by the direct approach, and we frustrate easily when compelled to rehearse tedious social formulae. Pretend it's a job interview rather than a letter from camp. STYLISTIC NOTE: if your profile includes the words "hubby," "classy," or "ken and barbie" we're probably not a good match. Probably, we say, as there are many ways to say everything, and in the fullness of time every word is likely to pass every pair of articulate lips. If it includes more pondering as to whether there "are any real people on this site" than demonstration that you yourself are meaningfully real, or more animadverting on the poor manners of those who do not respond to (unsolicited) messages than reasons why someone might want to be contacted by you in the first place, we are concerned that there might be something wrong with you, and we will almost certainly not reply (unless you really scare us) -- we note this only to spare you further frustration. OH, YES: did we advise you not to bother contacting us if you're a straight single male with nothing extraordinary to offer?

Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
there is no sexual fantasy that we have not already realized (more than once). we both love fucking and sucking with multiple partners; we both love to be covered in come and to see each other covered in come. etc, etc, etc.

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
we have fucked almost everywhere already, so to fantisize about

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
why would anyone want to fuck a celebrity?

View more of effingidiots's responses