Through my dealings with the fairer sex throughout my life, I have become completely dissillusioned with females (all people really, but I'm not trying to date guys) and have now resorted to the internet in an effort to find ones that I can at least tolerate for extended periods of time. You want to know about me? I'll tell you what I'm not: 1.) I'm not your father. I won't tolerate ish bullshit when/if you don't get your way, and I won't throw money at you to shut you up. 2.) I am not your hobby. That's why you have friends. This road goes both ways; you're not expected to join me on any excursions you don't want to. I've got friends too. 3.) I am not someone that religiously puts the toilet seat down after I take a leak. It's not intentional, but I forget to do so on occasion. You're a big girl now, and if you can't be bothered to so much as look at where you're going to park you're ass; you probably deserve the cold embrace of toilet water. May God help anyone around you on the road. 4.) I'm not the guy with a schlong so long that I have to tie it in a knot to keep from tripping on it, and it's not as big around as a telephone pole. I'll tell you what I am...I'm a very respectful, clean, decent looking guy, with MENSA intellect and a witty sense of humor. I am well educated, well read, and very well traveled. I have lived/worked on every continent on the globe except Australia and Antarctica. Foreign languages; I speak many. If nothing more, I know that I can at least order a beer and say, "Thanks!", just about anywhere in the world.

My Ideal Person Here's where we get to you...

As a staunch rationalist, I realize that you're probably every bit as disgruntled with men as I've become with some of your calloused compatriots; possibly having given up on all of us. My (admittedly weak) theory is you have not yet lost all hope, but have turned to a less social lifestyle and are casually perusing the pages of BlackSexMatch.com, just waiting for my profile to pop up, so we can spend the rest of our days in perpetual bliss.

I'm not an extremely picky guy. Being my dream girl is more a matter of the things that you aren't, than the things you are.

My "ideal" woman...

When asked about her hobbies, has more to say than, "Like, you know, stuff.", or the always popular, "...shopping, hanging out, music, friends.".

One who doesn't use LOL unless they are actually laughing out loud. I can honestly say that I have never written anything that made me laugh out loud. Cheech and Chong make me laugh out loud, Richard Pryor makes me laugh out loud it, nothing that I've written in my profile made me laugh out loud; except bitching about the over-usage of LOL.

Can think outside her own head, and understand that while her wants and needs are her priority (and there's nothing wrong with that), those around her have their own desires.

Takes care of herself to some degree. We can't aspects of our appearance, but if you don't bathe regularly, and have eaten yourself into Oblivion, it demonstrates a a fatal lack of self respect for yourself that one could only expect to bleed into other aspects of your behavior.

If you've read this much crap and are actually interested, we might just stand a chance.

I hope that I've piqued your interest. Drop me a line that makes me think, laugh, or hope. For the love of God, just show me you're not all the same.

Happy hunting!

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
Anywhere

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Blindfolds, Leather, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
A little of each

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

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