Ah, the intricacies of communication with the fairer sex; a landmine-ridden landscape one must traverse with great care and deliberation...especially when using a notoriously impersonal communication tool like email.
Or, in layman’s terms: talkin’ to ladies is never easy, but it’s even harder on the web. So, guys, listen up!
One of the most frequent questions we get here is “how do I meet women on Adult FriendFinder?”
Well, obviously, you need to email them first. And unfortunately, many guys get extremely frustrated when they never get past the initial contact.
Furthermore, we often hear from women overrun with the wrong kind of emails from guys, ranging from rude to completely indecipherable. So how do we appease both sides, to ensure everyone is one is happy (and, hopefully, naked)? By offering up this here handy dandy guide to emailing women on Adult FriendFinder!
A few caveats: these are by no means set-in-stone rules, and each woman here is unique (just like you! And snowflakes!) Remember, what may work for one could turn off another. However, you can pretty much never go wrong with being polite and respectful.
With that in mind, a few guidelines to keep in mind when typing that first email to the fair maiden who’s caught your eye.
-READ HER PROFILE
In case this was unclear, let me reiterate:
READ HER PROFILE.
ALL OF IT.
She took the trouble to write it, so you should at least take the trouble to read it. Herein you’ll learn what she likes, and most importantly, what she’s looking for. And if you’re not what she’s looking for, consider moving on. Sure, you could send her a polite complement on her photos, but keep in mind, if you don’t embody what she’s looking for, she may only respond with a cursory “thanks,” or not at all.
-Don’t send a photo of your dick
Seriously. If she wants to see it, she’ll ask. Don’t cock up her inbox, dude. She’s probably already waist-deep in dickmail so don’t add to the virtual tidal wave of wang.
-Be respectful
Hey, she might looooove dirty talk. But don’t assume that off the bat and go bustin’ in there with the F-bombs blazing. You need to establish some sort of rapport before you can start with the nasty talk. Conversely, you don’t need to come off like Mr. Rogers, but keep your complements and comments respectful ‒ there’s a HUGE difference between “you’re an incredibly beautiful woman” and “HAI WUD U LIKE 2 MUNCH DEEZ NUTS LOLOLOL.”
And on that note:
-Spell like an adult
This is an email, not a text message. An abbreviation or two is okay, but if your email looks like you need a decoder ring to decipher it, start over. Use spell-check, and proofread before you send. Don’t brush this off as a nit-pick; this a major complaint from many female members.
Not all of us are spelling bee champs, and that’s okay – and it’s why spell-check is your friend. Going the extra mile by proofreading your messages shows her that you actually give a shit, and you’re not just blindly flogging the keyboard like a drunken chimpanzee.
-Ask her polite, interesting questions about herself
Hint: “DO U LIKE IT UP THE ASS” is neither.
Pay her a genuine compliment. Emphasis on genuine: if you tell her she has stunning eyes, and she has only photos of herself below the neck, you’re going straight to the delete files.
-Tell her a little about yourself
Just the basics ‒ what you do, hobbies you enjoy, what you’re looking for. Don’t drone on for four pages. Once you establish a rapport, she’ll ask for more details if she’s interested.
-Use a creative subject line
Don’t just write “hi” or “what’s up” – include something personalized that makes you stand out, indicating that you’ve read her profile. Make it funny, intriguing, or poignant ‒ she’ll be more likely to open it.
-Take it from Kenny Rogers
You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to waaaaaaaaalk awaaaaaay, know when to run...
Ok, sorry. But Kenny’s right: know when to walk away. If she doesn’t write back, don’t hammer her repeatedly, demanding her attention. And if she does write back and says “no thanks” for cripe's sake, don’t hurl insults at her. Not only does this make you a jerk, you might just get your account yanked for violating TOS.
Instead of wasting your energies on someone who’s not interested, move on to someone else. Keep in mind, dating, like everything, is a numbers game. The more nets you cast, the likelier you are to make a connection. And on that note:
-Be patient
And don’t expect her to agree to sex on the first email. Even if they’re strictly looking for NSA encounters, most women want to build up a connection or sense of common ground before taking it to the next level.
Pressuring her to meet right off the bat is a huge turn off for most. One long time female member told us, “the thing I hated the most was guys who pressured me to assess our compatibility and meet right away.”
The same member also offered the following: “I can't think of anyone I've met, on this site or any other, who I knew right off the bat that I was attracted to. In every single case, it took a lot of non-sexual socializing (and/or a lot of playful cybersexing) before I wanted to meet him.”
So there you have it, guys. We hope you find this guide helpful, and if you have additional questions or suggestions, feel free to let us know.
