Mellifluous Musings
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I Love You But A Poem
Posted:May 11, 2020 6:54 pm
Last Updated:May 18, 2020 10:45 pm

How many times
Are you going to tell me
That I am not enough
Before I believe it
With my whole heart?

Each time you say
I love you but...

My heart blocks out
That qualifier
If it is Just
As a friend
Because we became lovers.

Each time you say
I love you but...
My heart does not hear
That other part
That you are not in love.

I know deep down
What all this means
You find me missing
Something that I can't change.
Or at least not easily.

I will hear your words eventually.
Maybe then I will be the one
Who can match you word for word
I love you but
I am not in love
But in my case
It will be with
The added caveat
Unconventional And Misunderstood A Poem
Posted:May 11, 2020 6:40 pm
Last Updated:May 13, 2020 7:40 pm

That is the word for me.
I am not like other people
In a whole host of categories.

I don't belong
To many groups.
I for the most part
Keep to myself.

I don't want to open
Myself up
For judgement
And ridicule.
I am not a fan
Of the comedy
Of Don Rickles.
Although I hear
He was a good friend
To those he knew well.

Folks that get to know me
Once I let my guard down
They either love me
For my foibles
And naivety.
I ask many questions
Some answers may be
Obvious to most
But I sometimes miss
The contemporary boat.
Culture can be a devil
To keep up with
With modern day
Social media.

There are things
I am not proud of
That make me feel
So very inferior
But I should not have to
Wear that label
Hence the word
I would rather
Be associated with

I need self confidence
Because while I know
I don't fit the mold
Of a successful woman.
I should take hold
Of the fact
That I may always
Be misunderstood
By folks that are less
Than open minded
And only care
About the superficial.
My Melancholy Predicament. A Poem
Posted:May 10, 2020 1:10 am
Last Updated:May 11, 2020 6:17 pm

I am feeling the melancholy.
It washes over me.
I am alone once again.
Wishing I was with somebody.

I have a few guys in mind
Who could fit the bill
So to speak
Each one has traits
That are unique.
I see the good in them
They form my memories.

And then reality intervenes.
They could be with me
But they chose not to
They may give
Me the time of day
Make that a few moments.
Then they go away
Leaving me once again
Which brings me to the present
And my melancholy predicament.
Longed For His Text A Poem
Posted:May 8, 2020 9:08 pm
Last Updated:May 10, 2020 12:57 am

He says it is on!
Tomorrow he wants
To be with me.
How I have longed
To read those words
In a text.
It has been weeks!
I am not exaggerating.

I told him earlier this week
When he sees me again
I want him to be
Forceful with me.
You see
It was how he was
When we met
On our second date.
He grabbed my head
And kissed me.
Pulling my hair a little
But still gently.
It told me in actions
How much he
Wanted and desired me
How he hungered
For my touch
And kisses.

I want him
To be the guy
That he was then.
But also the guy
Who he is now.
The one who knows
The pleasure
That can come.
How I give and give
To make him feel
Ever so good
The best that
I possibly can.

But there is always more
Where that came from!
Especially in the morning
If he stays the night.
Which I am hoping
Will be the case
As I want to see his
Sleeping face.
I want to feel his furry legs
And his furry chest.

All this goes through my head
With the texts he sent
That he wants to see me
Tomorrow night.
How am I going to sleep?
My dreams will be vivid
If they depict his
And my past actions.
And what I want to experience
As an encore
And so much more.
A Mother's Day Distraction A Poem
Posted:May 6, 2020 11:05 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2020 6:16 pm

We are both motherless.
Neither one has .
Should I make the suggestion
We spend the upcoming
Weekend together
Knowing it's importance?

Ah, yes Mother's Day.
A day I will ever feel sad
And inadequate.
Would that someone
Could make me forget
that I lack.
Would that I could revel
In a lovemaking rendezvous
With the man of my dreams
Who is the aforementioned one
But he is not aware
Of his singularity
In that regard.

But he does care
And I know that time
Spent together always
Leaves me wanting more
Thoughts of him linger on
Long after he is gone.

A distraction could be had
If we can manage
To make it happen.
His kisses and touch
A welcome addition
To a day that otherwise
I would feel so bereft.
Thinking only of what
I lost and lack.
Together he and I can
Make time pass.
Adrift For Words A Poem
Posted:May 2, 2020 3:13 pm
Last Updated:May 6, 2020 10:55 pm

I almost wanted cry
He mentioned my writing
Some serious poetry
If we were go do
A thing we once
Dreamt about
Sailing on his sail boat.

I have lost my voice.
It has been overwhelmed.
My thoughts taken over
By the sadness that surrounds
Nearly everyone.
Yes, there are glimmers of hope
But they are not on
The tip of my tongue.

Folks keep mentioning
It will come around again.
Words will flow.
Just start slow.
Maybe use that habit
Of brainstorming.
Take one word
And work outward.
How rudimentary.
How weak I must seem
To have to go back to this
It is so elementary.
But I get it.
Like a person rehabbing
From an accident.
One step, yes one step
Then another
Until I get back
To where I once was.

And if I ever do go sailing
I might not think of writing
I might just take it in
Savor the moment.

Does it always have be
About my accounting?
I have taken
That by choice.
No one has demanded
My voice.
It was my self expression
My presentation
And representation
Of the world.
But wouldn't it be nice
no longer be adrift?
Adrift for words.
I Hope The Future Has This In Store A Poem
Posted:Apr 6, 2020 12:03 am
Last Updated:Apr 26, 2020 6:08 pm

You called me on the phone.
I almost talked your ear off.
It was so nice hearing your voice
That accent of yours
Sing songy Maine like
That I have come adore.

We texted throughout
American Idol
Like we did a few times before.
I commented that it was like
Spending an evening together.
It reminded me of our exchanges
When we texted about our
Beloved Bruins games.
Boy I sure do miss them!

I know you have not been
Feeling the best with some pain
In your back and hip
You seem to think
You are on the mend.
That cannot come soon enough.
Because then you might
Have the desire and energy
To travel all the way
To see me again.
Yes indeed you could
Make the trip!

We could do our thing.
In person.
Relax and have a meal
Usually pizza
Although I might entice you
To get Chinese food.
I might say let's do it
Because I want us to
Have this memory.
I want us to read our fortunes.
Maybe it will seem
Like divine wisdom.
Like the day one told me
About KMS and boy was that timely
After so many rants I had posted
ON social media.
It meant to keep mouth shut.
I laughed so hard
But it did not shut me up .

Then we would continue on
With other items
Things that we have missed.
OH boy have I!
The last time seems ages ago
At least a month or so.
At least it was near the best
Of any of our encounters.
We both agreed
I would love an encore
Or two or three !

You see what you do to me ?
You make want more.
I wish and hope that
The future has that in store!
Practicality And Dreams A Poem
Posted:Apr 4, 2020 11:37 pm
Last Updated:Apr 6, 2020 7:49 pm

It is still a day ponder
It is still a day wonder
While we have a mind
While we have the time.

There are things that are
Less important
Depending on what
Is happening.
Our bodily needs
Our health in general
Come first
For without their success
We are inevitably a mess.

And so I know
That I can think of you.
Whoever you may be
My ideal man
My ideal mate
The man of my dreams
I can think of you
Until reality becomes harsh
And intervenes.

So practical of me
have my priorities straight
know there are times
When dreams and desires
Are be held in abeyance.
Hopefully this delay
Is just temporary.
And I can get back
the business
Of dreaming in earnest.

Today is one of those days
Where I can dream
Of my ideal man
And he can bring
By way of happiness
And satisfaction.

But first I will Google
Some porn on the internet
For while dreams
And visions in my head
Can sometimes do the trick
A little stimulation can help
With one of those needs
That were aforementioned.
Differences A Poem
Posted:Apr 4, 2020 2:05 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2020 6:45 pm


I heard an angelic voice
I saw a gorgeous woman
On a barren landscape.
I thought how magnificent
To be so combined
In a music video.

Yet the voice did not belong
To that gorgeous woman
She was just a vision
Just eye candy
While the voice singing
Was from an altogether different
Less standardized version
Of beauty.

I can appreciate the differences
I can see and hear
I can teach myself
That each has worth.
Woman are not just
Their appearance.
Pardon my wanting
Everything in one package.

If I had to choose
I am not even sure
Which one I would
Except that voice might be
My calling
And my passion
My gift to the world.
To Seek, To Seek A Poem
Posted:Apr 2, 2020 11:59 pm
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2020 9:33 pm

I have in my heart
An aspiration
One that loves
It's very notion.
To seek, to seek
It's love object!

Would that I could
Live with such a thought
Have it at the ready
More often than not.
Let thoughts that are negative
And the opposite
Subside like a summer rain.
And have the positive
Be ready to take charge
Once again!!
Perpetual Optimism And Love A Poem
Posted:Apr 1, 2020 10:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2020 2:02 am

I almost said the heck with love!
I was almost at the point
Of giving up!
But then I happened upon
His words.
And my sense of purpose
Was restored!

He said that perpetual optimism
Is a force multiplier.
Indeed when I thought of it
It could be true
It worked if you worked it
Much like a twelve step program.
Not that I had to do that many steps
I just had to change my mindset.

So while I have been down on love,
Like a half empty glass or bowl
I just had to rearrange the thought
And see It was also half full!

No need to always be negative.
In fact it hurts your very being.
It has been shown to affect
Your brain chemistry.
So enough of that doom and gloom
Reverse that way of thinking!

Being positive is not just an RH factor
Although it can be seen as
Life saving and necessary.
Being positive gets your motor running
And is like the fuel for action.

Love feeds upon itself,
It is a greedy little non devil.
It nourishes a spirit
Like nothing else.

It is said love is all we need.
But that is being too simple.
We need to eat and breathe.
But love makes even those activities,
Seem much less mundane.

I will find love!
Or it will find me !
I will remain positive
That what I offer to the world
Will be appreciated
By someone, somehow, some way!

Optimism will be a a key!
It will open the door
So to speak.
It will gain me entry!
And perhaps it will
Lead me to the one
Whose love I seek.
And who can in turn
Love me !
An Unfinished Poem A Poem
Posted:Apr 1, 2020 10:49 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 12:56 am

A memory came up
On a social media site.
It was an unfinished poem
From four years ago.
It was rather long already
I did not think it needed
Too much to make it
Ready for others to view.
It was already quite thoughtful.

I wondered if I had sent
A version of it through
To another website or two.
But I did not have a title
Only words that might
Stand out.
And boy were they good.
Perpetual optimism
And force magnifier
As well as sense of purpose.

I wonder if I should just
Let the version stand
And release it to the wind
If it had a prior release
Would it be that much
Of a bad thing?
It might just show that
My memory is dim.

The message
The message
Indeed it was deep
At least to me.
Perhaps someone
Could appreciate it
And see the way I think
Perhaps they can relate
To my words
And what they mean.

And so voila!
I will commence!
Look for it
To be forthcoming!
And if you ever saw
A version of it before
Please tell me.
Curious How You Think A Poem
Posted:Mar 30, 2020 2:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2020 10:29 pm

It is the thoughtfulness.
I so appreciate it.
Texting me Good Morning
Or Good Evening.
Asking me how I am doing.

I do send my share of them
Initiating as much as receiving.
It is just how I think
I wonder about so many
Each and every day.
Hoping they are doing okay.

As long as I am able
I will probably do this
My way of staying connected
In some fashion
Albeit not as personal
As seeing and chatting
In real life
And in person.

How do you feel
About such pleasantries?
Do you think them
Just a quaint notion
And unnecessary?
Do you feel like this
Conversation and chatting
Is a good thing?
I am truly curious
How you think.

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