Lady’s Lair 📚 🖊
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Be That One
Posted:Oct 18, 2021 7:31 pm
Last Updated:Oct 20, 2021 8:23 pm
Life.s Simple Truths
Posted:Oct 17, 2021 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Oct 18, 2021 6:28 pm

I did not write this but it sure struck a chord with me. I hope you enjoy it.

Barely the day started and it's already six in the evening.
Barely arrived on Monday and it's already Friday.
.. and the month is already over.
.. and the year is almost over.
.. and already 40, 50 or 60 years of our lives have passed.
.. and we realize that we lost our parents, friends.
.. and we realize it's too late to go back.

So.. Let's try, despite everything, to enjoy the remaining time.
Let's keep looking for activities that we like.
Let's put some colour in our grey.
Let's smile at the little things in life that put balm in our hearts.

And despite everything,
we must continue to enjoy with serenity this time we have left.
Let's try to eliminate the "afters"..
I'm doing it after.
I'll say after.
I'll think about it after.
We leave everything for later like ′′ after ′′ is ours.
Because what we don't understand is that:
Afterwards, the coffee gets cold.
Afterwards, priorities change.
Afterwards, the charm is broken.
Afterwards, health passes.
Afterwards, the grow up.
Afterwards, parents get old.
Afterwards, promises are forgotten.
Afterwards, the day becomes the night.
Afterwards, life ends.
And then it's often too late.

So.. Let's leave nothing for later.
Because still waiting to see later, we can lose the best moments, the best
experiences, best friends, the best family.

The day is today.
The moment is now.
We are no longer at the age where we can afford to postpone what needs
to be done right away.

It Looks Like An Eternity,
But It's A Short Trip,
Enjoy Life And Always
Be Kind.
Stepping Away Is Good For The Soul
Posted:Oct 15, 2021 6:35 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 4:40 pm

Recently, after learning of my long time good friend’s third cancer diagnosis, I took some time to step back and step away from here. I needed the break to reflect, refresh and reenergize. Here's what I found for myself:

Each day is a blessing. Each day is an opportunity to start afresh. Each day gives you a different feeling/perspective and the chance to build yourself even better.

Life's hard knocks have taught me how to survive and how to stand up for myself. Others should not mistake my good-natured demeanour for being a pushover.

Being loud and obnoxious has never been my style. So staying silent is the best option. It quickly quiets those looking to stir up trouble when none exists and they realize they can't bait me into a meaningless debate.
Cancer Sucks
Posted:Sep 25, 2021 8:02 pm
Last Updated:Oct 17, 2021 1:08 pm

One in two people will develop cancer. Scary statistics!

I am heartbroken, trying to process the bad news I received earlier tonight.

I found that one of my best and long-time friends has been diagnosed with her third type of cancer. She's been through breast cancer, subsequently diagnosed with bone cancer and now brain cancer. She's already had brain surgery and has a long road ahead. She is one of the strongest people I know and has faced her cancer journey with grace and dignity.

Please don't take life for granted. It can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye.

Ever Have One of Those Days
Posted:Sep 24, 2021 7:34 pm
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2021 6:00 pm
when this is what you want to say or do?

Men and Women Have Different Sexual Fantasies
Posted:Sep 23, 2021 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2021 10:39 am

Even the most sex-positive folks can find themselves feeling confused and uncertain when reflecting on the arousing, erotic mental images known as sexual fantasies they may have.

Chances are even your most taboo fantasies are normal and healthy. In fact, evidence suggests that those who have sexual fantasies experience less anxiety and a greater sense of self-esteem.

Most adults have them and yes, there are differences in what women and men fantasize about.

A 2017 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior involving Canadian university undergraduates revealed 64% of participants had some interest in multi-partner sex.

Another study published in Personality and Individual Differences involving British adults found that men specifically may fantasize more about multi-partner sex. Male participants of the study were more likely to fantasize about sex with multiple people and with anonymous partners. Meanwhile, women's fantasies were more likely to include same-sex partners and famous people.

Some people are aroused by light restraint, others by intense physical pain. Psychological roleplay may also be considered BDSM as it involves an exchange of power.

Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist whose research focuses on sexuality, discovered this fantasy is popular when doing research for his book on the science of sexual desire called Tell Me What You Want. He found 93% of women and 81% of men had fantasized about being sexually dominated. Further, 85% of men and 76% of women had fantasized about being sexually dominant.

Sex in public is another popular fantasy that may fall under exhibitionism. In Lehmiller's same survey, he found 81% of men and 84% of women were aroused by a public sex fantasy.

Brett Kahr, a British psychotherapist and author of Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head? analyzed the sexual fantasies of British and American adults.

Here are some other interesting findings:
~41% imagine sex with someone else’s partner (75% of people think this one trait makes you more attractive)
~39% think about sex with a work colleague
~25% (particularly men and younger people) fantasize about celebrities
~18% percent of women fantasize about sex with two or more men

Before you start trying out fantasies with your partner there are important aspects of experimentation you should ensure are in place for utmost safety and pleasure.
1. Establish consent
2. Discuss boundaries
3. Use proper protection
4. Treat your partner with respect

Sexual fantasies are nothing to be embarrassed about. Desire is a key part of sexuality and having fantasies is normal, common, and healthy.
Sex Facts and Myths
Posted:Sep 22, 2021 7:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2021 3:22 pm

It’s amazing how many myths continue to exist about sex. So let’s debunk some more.

Sex Burns Major Calories

Estimates are that you burn between 80 0 calories. put that into perspective, you need to burn about 3,500 calories to lose a pound of body weight, so if you were using 0 calories every time you had sex, you could lose one pound if you had sex 35 times. The problem is most people are not having sex for thirty minutes straight. Instead, the average duration of sex is closer to minutes. Guess that bursts a few bubbles.

Women Always Orgasm During Vaginal Sex

Nope. Not all women do. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 18.4 % of women said intercourse alone led them to have an orgasm. 36.6 % said clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during sex. An additional 36 % indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms felt better if their clitoris was stimulated during intercourse. Toys can be great for this too.

Sex Affects Sports Performance

This theory has been debated for many years, with coaches often telling their athletes to abstain from sex at least 48 hours before big games or competitions. However, a 20 study in the journal Frontiers in Physiology suggests sex has impact on athletic performance and could actually have a positive effect instead.

Male & Female Genitalia Are Totally Different

Most people think that male and female genitals are about as different as can be: penis=male and vagina=female. But even this basic dichotomy is not quite correct: the genitals emerge from the mass of embryonic tissue. For the first weeks of life, the tissue masses develop identically. At about 6-7 weeks, depending on whether the fetus has XX or XY chromosomes (usually), the tissues start to differentiate. One part of the tissue begins to form the clitoris or penis and another forms the labia or scrotum. Another area begins to form into either the testes or the ovaries. This means that physiologically, male and female genitals are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways.

Men Are More Aggressive Than Women

It depends on what you mean by aggression. Men and women are not different in expressing anger and general aggression, but men are more likely to use physical aggression overall. The sexes are more or less the same when aggressing towards one another, but men are larger and, usually, stronger. Men are not naturally "more aggressive" than women, but can use physical aggression more effectively than women can (barring guns and other weapons). This pattern says more about gender, societies, and male physical size than it does about hard-wired human nature.

The Pull-out Method Can Be Used By Itself For Birth Control

The pull-out (or withdrawal) method, also called coitus interruptus, is when the partner with the penis pulls out of the vagina before ejaculation. Planned Parenthood reports that about 27 out of 0 women who use this method get pregnant each year, meaning it’s about 73 percent effective preventing pregnancy in real life. That’s not as effective as condoms, which are about 82-percent effective IRL, or birth control pills, which are about 91-percent effective. Use the pull-out method in combination with another birth control method, folks. Human error happens.

Having Sex Will Cause a Pregnant Woman Go Into Labour

This myth is so pervasive that even doctors will tell their full-term patients to give it a try. But, not does having sex near your due date not start labour, it may actually delay it, according to a study published in Obstetrics & Gynecology. Researchers found that women who were sexually active in the final weeks of their pregnancies carried their babies an average of 39.9 weeks, compared to 39.3 weeks for women who weren’t having any sex.

You Can Tell If Someone Has An STD By Looking At Them

Robert Huizenga, MD, author of Sex, Lies & STDs says that a common sex myth people believe is that you’ll be able to tell if someone has an STD by looking at them. The truth is that many STDs don’t show outward symptoms or may not show until much later. There’s no substitute for getting a medical screening and being totally honest about the results.

A Woman's Vagina Will Show How Many Partners She Has Had

Vaginas can temporarily stretch to accommodate a large object, how else would women ever survive childbirth? However, they don’t stay stretched out. That means, multiple partners, a partner with a large penis, or using large sex toys don’t affect the vagina. How tight or loose a vagina feels depends on the woman’s genetics and the fit between her and her partner.
Cook Before You Eat
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 8:22 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 12:01 pm

Everyone knows to avoid eating raw meat and eggs. But there are plenty of other foods that you definitely want to cook before eating. Some of these might surprise you.

Raw eggplant contains solanine, the same toxin that makes raw potatoes problematic. Young eggplants in particular, or eggplants that were harvested early in their plant lives, contain the most of this toxin. You would have to eat a whole lot of raw eggplant to experience the unpleasant gastrointestinal effects of solanine poisoning, but you might want to go ahead and cook your eggplant anyway. Plus, some people may have allergic reactions to even small amounts of raw eggplant. Maybe that's why you never see it in salads?

In recent years, the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have identified raw flour as a potential health hazard. During its journey from wheat stalk to supermarket shelf, flour may have come into contact with pathogens such as E. coli, which can only be banished by cooking whatever the flour is in. I remember eating some raw cookie dough when I was a .

Kidney Beans
This normally healthy food can be dangerous if eaten the wrong way. Red kidney beans are packed with protein, fibre, and antioxidants, but eating them raw can wreak havoc on your stomach. Uncooked kidney beans contain the toxin phytohemagglutinin, which can cause unpleasant gastrointestinal discomfort and symptoms similar to food poisoning. Make you boil kidney beans for at least ten minutes before eating them. I used to pick these out of homemade chilli.

This mealtime staple should never be eaten raw! Eating potatoes raw can cause bloating and undesirable gastrointestinal effects because potatoes contain starches that are resistant to being digested. Cooking the potatoes successfully breaks down these starches. Even scarier, if raw potatoes spend a long time in a warm or damp area, they can turn green and develop a toxin called solanine. If a potato appears to have green spots on it, you should avoid eating it altogether, because the solanine could cause food poisoning. I always thought you could just cut around the green spot.

Rhubarb Leaves
These leaves contain a high level of oxalic acid—a toxin that in high doses can cause kidney damage, various stomach problems, and even death, on rare occasions, according to Hampshire College. This “anti-nutrient” interferes with iron, magnesium, and calcium too, the Independent reports. A lethal dose of this toxin would be hard to consume naturally, but it’s mostly people with kidney issues that should be concerned with avoiding these leaves, per Healthline. Fortunately, never tried eating these.

Alfalfa and radish sprouts can contain pesky harmful bacteria like E. coli, Salmonella, and Listeria. Sprouts are grown in warm, moist conditions where these bacteria thrive. Because of this, you should aim to buy your sprouts as fresh as possible; consider buying them locally or from a farmers’ market. And, of course, wash them and cook them. I only eat them cooked.

Wieners aren’t the most nutritious food as it is, but eating them raw can be downright dangerous. It’s a common misconception that, since they’re pre-cooked, wieners can be eaten right out of the package like lunch meat. This isn’t the case at all. According to the FDA, packaged wieners can become contaminated with the bacteria Listeria, which can only be killed by reheating them. Will never do that again!

This root vegetable, a staple of South American cuisine, is packed with vitamins and minerals. But it’s also hiding a sneaky, potentially lethal ingredient. The leaves and roots of raw yucca contain cyanogenic glycosides, chemicals that release cyanide when eaten. Yucca is still edible, but make sure you wash it thoroughly, rinse it, peel it, and cook it before consumption. Have never eaten this.

The above should not be confused with a Raw Food Diet which is based on food that can be safely eaten raw. That diet is predominantly based on vegetables, fruits and legumes. The diet is believed to help people find health when they are struggling to get healthy by eating a normal Western diet.
Eliminate Redundant Words
Posted:Sep 20, 2021 6:49 pm
Last Updated:Sep 25, 2021 8:49 pm

English is a complicated language. Yet, we continue to make it more difficult by adding extra words to simple phrases. They become common practice, when in fact, they are just extra and unnecessary. Here are some great examples where we should stop being so extra! Remember, less is more!

Forever and Ever
Did you ever describe someone as droning on and on (and on!) forever and ever? No need to add “and ever” to descriptions of forever. Daily Writing Tipsrecommends you avoid using the phrase, because forever is, by definition, endless.

New Innovations
According to Oxford Dictionary, “new” already exists within the definition of innovation, which is a new method, idea, or product. So if you want to win the prize for redundancy, go ahead and describe something as a “fresh new idea innovation product method.”

Blatantly Obvious
According to Grammarist, redundancies are “word overflows.” Blatant and obvious mean the same thing. There’s no need to descriptively modify one term with the other unless you want a deluge of word overflow, then by all means, go for it!

Please RSVP
You know you should RSVP for parties, but what do the letters stand for? Respond So Verification Promulgates? Actually, it’s a French phrase. RSVP refers to “Répondez s’il vous plaît,” which translates to “respond if you please.” Adding the “please” is redundant.

Unexpected Surprise
All surprises are naturally unexpected. This phrase is redundant, and you’ll often find it used in cases that weren’t, in fact, surprising. Ever hear anyone claim, “What an unexpected surprise!” after they’ve opened your gift? Or when you show up uninvited at dinnertime?

Advance Warning
It’s not really a warning if it doesn’t occur before whatever it is you’re being warned about. The weather centres don’t give warnings about storms that have already moved on. All proper warnings happen in advance.

Sudden Impulse
Trying to have an impulse that’s not sudden. A true impulse can’t be pre-planned. You just have to let it happen involuntarily according to the dictionary definition. All impulses will be of the sudden sort. Avoid redundancy when describing them.

End Result
Technically, the result (for whatever) will occur at the end (of whatever). The result is the conclusion, the outcome, the final product, the finish. In other words, the result is the end. Feel free to use “result” or “end,” but never both. End redundant results!

Definition of redundant: not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous
Sunday Funnies
Posted:Sep 19, 2021 10:32 am
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2021 3:09 pm
Peace and happiness to one and all on this glorious Fall day!

Lets Talk About Tantric Sex
Posted:Sep 18, 2021 4:40 pm
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2021 12:06 pm

The concept of tantric sex came from ancient Hinduism and ideas around tantra. Tantra stems loosely from religious texts that focus on spiritualism.

Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.

Proponents of tantric sex believe that tantric techniques may help resolve sexual complications such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or anorgasmia.

Tantric sex encourages people to get to know their own bodies and become in tune with them. By understanding the desire of one’s own body, one can incorporate this during sex with a partner. This may lead to greater sexual fulfillment and more intense orgasms.

How to Prepare
There are a few things a person or couple can do to help prepare for tantric sex. For example, they can:
~Read further into it: The more knowledge someone has on the topic of tantric sex, the more they are likely to feel prepared.
~Set aside time: Tantric sex is about moving slowly and being in the moment. In some cases, it can last an hour or more. Therefore, be sure to set aside some time to fully engage and enjoy the experience.
~Prepare the mind: Focusing on the moment can be difficult if a person is experiencing stress or has many things on their mind. Meditating or stretching before tantric sex may help achieve a clear mindset.
~Find a good place: Environment has a key role in tantric sex. Ideally, it will take place in a relaxing setting with a comfortable temperature. A person may want to dim the lights, light a scented candle, or put on relaxing music.

How to Begin
Begin by facing each other and gazing into each other’s eyes with your clothes on. Focus on one of your partner’s eyes; this keeps you intimately exposed. (Some people look back and forth between the two eyes to reduce the tension).

Make sure you’re breathing the right way (yes, there’s a wrong way). Next, synchronize your breathing with your partner’s: breathe in together, exhale together. Then move into breath exchange: You inhale when he exhales, then exhale when he inhales, as though you’re breathing each other in. Practice this for at least 10 minutes.

What does tantric sex for beginners look like?
To take this into sexual Tantra, try the same process but with clothes off. Sit on your partner’s lap, and wrap your legs around their waist. Do the breath exchange, but move into kissing and caressing. In time, begin slow intercourse, but continue caressing and kissing. Keep eye contact.

As you become more proficient, you can develop the ability for prolonged orgasm. For both women and men, you remain at the peak of ecstatic pleasure without climaxing. There are all the feelings of a typical orgasm, but it lasts for many minutes (or even hours), without a traditional orgasm.

Personal Experience
I can attest the orgasms are unlike any other. No drugs or alcohol of any kind were consumed prior to or during. This was also with someone who had been studying Tantra for years. Although I have never tried hallucinogens, it is the only thing I can liken it to. They were multi-layered, multi-coloured and multi-dimensional. At times, it felt like an out-of-body experience that I was witnessing from above. Afterwards, I slept for hours and woke up with an all-over glow and felt completely relaxed.
Posted:Sep 17, 2021 7:28 pm
Last Updated:Sep 20, 2021 4:38 pm

I learned a long time ago, to accept Myself for who I am.

I don't try nor want to be anyone else.

If you can't accept Me for the strong, resilient woman that I am, that's Your problem, Not Mine. Just keep walking.

To link to this blog (sexyldy1000) use [blog sexyldy1000] in your messages.

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