What are you looking for?  

secret_lade 48F
14467 posts
11/2/2020 12:39 am
What are you looking for?


I am asked this question often in it's various forms and disguises....

The problem is, I don't really know what it is I AM looking anymore. I find, more often than not, that I have little or no interest in actually making a connection with any of the men on here and am drawn the blogs. I read the words that others have written and, in some small way, I get a little insight into their world.

Just as they do with mine....

There is a part of me that still hopes to find that partner is crime. That person who wants to get out and see new sights, then spend the evening in just the two of us.

My actual experiences on here have tarnished that notion, though.

My version of a casual relationship is very different from the expectation that this site has instilled in the majority of it's male members.

And, I'll leave it at that....

Suffice it to say, the women on here are not disposable, we are human beings. We have thoughts and feelings that go beyond making a man's dick hard. But for the right man, though, the partner in crime... We look forward to those evenings in, making your dick hard.

To my reader who lives nearby....

I hope my ramblings were able to answer your question in some way. I hope you find what it is you are looking as well.

secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/4/2020 5:23 pm

    Quoting KX450F2016:
    I have not met anyone on here in over 5 years! I have had offers, but no one I was interested in. I also am not sure what I want after 2 marriages.... not sure I want to put myself out there for disappointment. I would like to get laid of course, but not by just anyone. I am not considered attractive by most so that limits my options. For now I will ride my motorcycles & enjoy the company of my dogs.
I know what you mean by not wanting to put yourself out there... I feel it to. I don't think I can allow myself to be hurt anymore, or allow myself to be treated with insignificance.


KX450F2016 53M  
193 posts
11/4/2020 6:25 am

I have not met anyone on here in over 5 years! I have had offers, but no one I was interested in. I also am not sure what I want after 2 marriages.... not sure I want to put myself out there for disappointment. I would like to get laid of course, but not by just anyone. I am not considered attractive by most so that limits my options. For now I will ride my motorcycles & enjoy the company of my dogs.


lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
11/3/2020 6:46 am

    Quoting srkaficionada:
    Hey now! You looking to start a harem or some such? Where have I heard that 10 years younger and 3,000 miles closer? 😆


Whaddaya mean 'looking to start' McFish?? I already have a harem, read point #5 here:- [post 4343329]

Anyways, all you good uns are so much younger than me these days, and most of you are over there!!


srkaficionada 68F

11/3/2020 5:52 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Very well put McLade......

    I'll never understand the approach some of these guys take to finding a shag. I mean, even if it was just a shag I was after I'd find better ways of looking for it than 'wanna fuck', then abusing a girl when she knocks me back.

    It's a shame that your aim of finding your 'partner in crime' has hit the buffers and that you're a lot more cynical about it than you were when you started out........but hey, it's a common theme with the ladies here......sorry.

    10 years younger, 3000 miles closer.......ooftah!!! Those local guys must be daft!!
Hey now! You looking to start a harem or some such? Where have I heard that 10 years younger and 3,000 miles closer? 😆


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:52 am

    Quoting dogslife2live01:
    wanna meat for a quick fuck?!!
    does it not sound like a all you can eat buffet
    .
    .
    .
    .
    with no food
Egads... LOL The most irritating ice breakers are the ones that come from the random guys with no profile information that say to me ....

I'll be in Gaylord today.

That's it, no other information. Just that they'll be in my town today. Am I supposed to swoon? Drop my panties? Patiently await your arrival?

Not....


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:49 am

    Quoting countrygal848:
    It seems your sentiments are shared by a lot of women on this site. The crude treatment is so bombastic at times it makes us mistrust others. Some people get their kicks out of striking back for any mis conceived perception. Sad commentary on how we treat strangers who have done nothing to us.
It is sad, very sad...


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:48 am

    Quoting  :

I'm glad you enjoy reading my blog... I know the feeling of only being 'half hearted' in your search. There was a time in the past when men and women would communicate on here, chat back and forth, and get to know each other before actually meeting in person. That first meeting wasn't for anything other than to get a feel of the in person chemistry... And then you went from there. That piece is missing now... There is an expectation that, if you've sent more than a message or two, you're invested and you should be meeting up to fuck, then moving on to the next person.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:32 am

    Quoting  :

Perhaps if we were treating each other the way we want to be treated in return.... This could be a kinder, friendlier place. Just my thoughts...


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:29 am

    Quoting localmotion50:
    In order to find a partner in crime, one must know where to go looking. I have pretty high standards for that. But to each their own.
You're very right.... It is possible that I'm not looking in the right places.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/3/2020 1:28 am

    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi secret_lade

    that's eggzactly how I feel

    women on this site just want to have a one night stand with me

    they want to use me and abuse me

    they whisper or write sweet nothings in my ear or on my blog posts

    all to get my silhouette wet to suit their needs

    I don't wanna be another notch on their headboard

    I want to be listened to and pampered and taken seriously

    it's a dilema I have to deal with every day

    I hope that I am up to the challenge

    I still haven't found what I've been looking for and my profile is very specific

    I hope you do find what you are looking for

    hmm

    be safe

    Ella Vos - "Temporary"

    So I've lost my way looking for a sign
    I should slip away, mystery of time
    And now the quiet hours stay a little longer
    Till the darker days come and go again
    And they say I'll be fine again
    Please just tell me it's only temporary
    When I'm here feeling ordinary
    No, don't try and hold me
    If you're gonna hold me back
    Just tell me it's only temporary
If only we lived a little closer to each other.... Perhaps you would have liked me, even though I'm not a female circus clown.


easy_going2014 55M
14366 posts
11/2/2020 8:25 pm

Hi secret_lade

that's eggzactly how I feel

women on this site just want to have a one night stand with me

they want to use me and abuse me

they whisper or write sweet nothings in my ear or on my blog posts

all to get my silhouette wet to suit their needs

I don't wanna be another notch on their headboard

I want to be listened to and pampered and taken seriously

it's a dilema I have to deal with every day

I hope that I am up to the challenge

I still haven't found what I've been looking for and my profile is very specific

I hope you do find what you are looking for

hmm

be safe

Ella Vos - "Temporary"

So I've lost my way looking for a sign
I should slip away, mystery of time
And now the quiet hours stay a little longer
Till the darker days come and go again
And they say I'll be fine again
Please just tell me it's only temporary
When I'm here feeling ordinary
No, don't try and hold me
If you're gonna hold me back
Just tell me it's only temporary

To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 5:14 pm

    Quoting Blueyedguy823:
    I think I'm here for engagement on topics that are difficult to share in my real life sphere. That's as honest as I can be about my dishonesty. If I meet someone, cool! If not, I will still read and write blogs, look at profiles and photos that interest me. So I guess I share your desire to get some insight into other's lives. Its like looking through a keyhole.
I am fascinated by other people's lives.... I like the blogs who belong to writers that share the details of their life. Sometimes I see similarities, and like them from the start. Sometimes I think, what a jackass, but I continue to read because I'm waiting to see what could possibly happen next. Lol


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 5:10 pm

    Quoting Paulxx001:
    It's a question we'll all ask at one point or another.
    Good luck finding an answer.

    Is there one? I guess you can chill here, till you find one.🤔🍷🍷❗😎
At the moment, I don't think there is an answer, so I will chill here.... Sharing my funny stories, venting my frustrations, sharing the bits and pieces of my life.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 5:02 pm

    Quoting seems6666:
    The dreaded question.. I usually say I'm looking to date with a view to a relationship.. some men reply that they are only looking for sex,, which is absolutely fine (thanks for your honesty) but once the question is asked... you say,, "and you?" ,, and then they say, the same. or similar I immediately think are you? are you REALLY?!
    The trouble is after a while on here you doubt what anyone says anymore!
I would rather the honesty, than someone tell me what I want to hear. More often then not, they only tell me what they think I was t to hear. The truth comes out soon enough, though....


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 4:58 pm

    Quoting citizen4722:
    I'm not really looking for sexual benefits. They would come naturally in time if the sparks are flying.
I agree with you... I've said it often, if it's meant to be, it will happen.


citizen4722 64M  
74582 posts
11/2/2020 3:34 pm

I'm not really looking for sexual benefits. They would come naturally in time if the sparks are flying.


seems6666 51F
4838 posts
11/2/2020 10:43 am

The dreaded question.. I usually say I'm looking to date with a view to a relationship.. some men reply that they are only looking for sex,, which is absolutely fine (thanks for your honesty) but once the question is asked... you say,, "and you?" ,, and then they say, the same. or similar I immediately think are you? are you REALLY?!
The trouble is after a while on here you doubt what anyone says anymore!


seems6666 51F
4838 posts
11/2/2020 10:39 am

    Quoting lust4life59:
    Would we still be friends without the benefits? That is the way I approach it.
Good thinking.. I tried FWB once.. in the hope of some sort of rapport.. he wanted the benefits bit.. not the friends.... He was wished good bye pretty quickly!


Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
11/2/2020 7:10 am

It's a question we'll all ask at one point or another.
Good luck finding an answer.

Is there one? I guess you can chill here, till you find one.🤔🍷🍷❗😎


Blueyedguy823 55M
1077 posts
11/2/2020 6:47 am

I think I'm here for engagement on topics that are difficult to share in my real life sphere. That's as honest as I can be about my dishonesty. If I meet someone, cool! If not, I will still read and write blogs, look at profiles and photos that interest me. So I guess I share your desire to get some insight into other's lives. Its like looking through a keyhole.


localmotion50 71M

11/2/2020 6:34 am

In order to find a partner in crime, one must know where to go looking. I have pretty high standards for that. But to each their own.


countrygal848 72F

11/2/2020 4:43 am

It seems your sentiments are shared by a lot of women on this site. The crude treatment is so bombastic at times it makes us mistrust others. Some people get their kicks out of striking back for any mis conceived perception. Sad commentary on how we treat strangers who have done nothing to us.


dogslife2live01 70M

11/2/2020 4:15 am

wanna meat for a quick fuck?!!
does it not sound like a all you can eat buffet
.
.
.
.
with no food

there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 4:04 am

    Quoting lust4life59:
    Would we still be friends without the benefits? That is the way I approach it.
Me too!!


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 4:03 am

    Quoting lindoboy100:
    Very well put McLade......

    I'll never understand the approach some of these guys take to finding a shag. I mean, even if it was just a shag I was after I'd find better ways of looking for it than 'wanna fuck', then abusing a girl when she knocks me back.

    It's a shame that your aim of finding your 'partner in crime' has hit the buffers and that you're a lot more cynical about it than you were when you started out........but hey, it's a common theme with the ladies here......sorry.

    10 years younger, 3000 miles closer.......ooftah!!! Those local guys must be daft!!
This reader is very polite, he reads my blog from time to time. He doesn't remember it, but we met once, face to face, about 10 years ago....

Honestly, when I first started on here, years ago, it was a very different atmosphere with very different people. I think the anonymity of the internet makes us callous and gives us the courage to treat each other poorly because there is little fear of retaliation. Nobody knows who you really are until you reveal yourself.


lust4life59 63F  
2552 posts
11/2/2020 4:00 am

Would we still be friends without the benefits? That is the way I approach it.


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 3:35 am

    Quoting MrWrong4RghtNow:
    It brings to mind how many of the randier fellows on this site recite the overused mantra of “its just a sex site” to quantify their words or deeds on here.
    My opinion is that yes, Virginia, there is a Horny Claus and he wants to find Ho Ho Hoes. But. That shouldn’t absolve anyone of mistreating others or foisting themselves upon others. Manners still count.
    I like to approach people on here the same exact way I would in person. Call me crazy. Lol
    I’m not looking to hook up. That ship sailed a long time ago. But keeping and maintaining friendships on here is my goal now. That doesn’t preclude me from forming emotional attachments. Which I most definitely feel this past few weeks. Still too soon to call it anything more than abject infatuation but I’d be liar if I don’t hope for more.
Ugh.... I do have that mantra. For me it's usually followed by, "there are other sites for women like you."


lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
11/2/2020 3:33 am

Very well put McLade......

I'll never understand the approach some of these guys take to finding a shag. I mean, even if it was just a shag I was after I'd find better ways of looking for it than 'wanna fuck', then abusing a girl when she knocks me back.

It's a shame that your aim of finding your 'partner in crime' has hit the buffers and that you're a lot more cynical about it than you were when you started out........but hey, it's a common theme with the ladies here......sorry.

10 years younger, 3000 miles closer.......ooftah!!! Those local guys must be daft!!


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
11/2/2020 3:24 am

    Quoting  :

Great minds think alike.


MrWrong4RghtNow 56M
2439 posts
11/2/2020 2:02 am

It brings to mind how many of the randier fellows on this site recite the overused mantra of “its just a sex site” to quantify their words or deeds on here.
My opinion is that yes, Virginia, there is a Horny Claus and he wants to find Ho Ho Hoes. But. That shouldn’t absolve anyone of mistreating others or foisting themselves upon others. Manners still count.
I like to approach people on here the same exact way I would in person. Call me crazy. Lol
I’m not looking to hook up. That ship sailed a long time ago. But keeping and maintaining friendships on here is my goal now. That doesn’t preclude me from forming emotional attachments. Which I most definitely feel this past few weeks. Still too soon to call it anything more than abject infatuation but I’d be liar if I don’t hope for more.

My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment


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