And the Scum Mom of the Year award goes to....  

secret_lade 48F
14468 posts
4/4/2021 7:56 am
And the Scum Mom of the Year award goes to....


Me.

It's Easter, he has risen.

It's a day when families are supposed to come together and celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

What am I doing?

I'm screaming at the Spawn because she's worked my last nerve and I refuse to put up with her newly developed 'entitled' attitude and clear disdain for me in general.

HAD IT!

I'm crying at the thought that my Middle , the one that loves me, is leaving me soon and I'll be left with HER...

The one who hates me.

"Give me that phone RIGHT now! Ear buds too. Gone!"

"Really mom? Is that how you're going to this?"

"Oh, that's not enough? I didn't take away enough to make you feel it yet? Ok, I want ALL of the stuff I bought you yesterday. Everything!"

"Whatever, I haven't formed an attachment to it yet."

"Fine, I'll take the stuff you did form an attachment to. Pick out an outfit, 1 pair of pants, 1 shirt. NOW!"

Grabbing her arm and throwing her into her bedroom, she started to cry instantly but picked out one outfit.

"Great! See this outfit?? You're going to get real comfy with it because for the next month, this is ALL you're going to be wearing."

Now here I am, silently crying out on the balcony so she can't hear how upset I feel.

what started all this?

It all started when I came home from the gym this morning and found my cute little kitty waiting for me the door. I picked her up, listened to her purr for a minute, and headed down the hall to wish the Spawn a happy Easter.

Glaring at me, she curled her lips and sneered "What?!? What!!"

"Tillbot and I want to give you a hug and wish you a happy Easter!"

"Oh my God, get away from me...."

And, that was it. I saw my lifetime of motherhood flash before my eyes and any composure I once had was gone. I morphed into a raving lunatic throwing packages of underwear down the hall and screamed.

I'm pretty sure this feeling I'm feeling, right this very moment, is the feeling of my heart shattering into a million little pieces.....

I don't think it can ever be the same again.

Ultraviolet_Sol 42M  
622 posts
4/5/2021 11:17 pm

Hey...

I just wanted to say: always remember what I said to you, and know that it will always be true.

*. *. *


lindoboy100 59M  
23969 posts
4/5/2021 6:10 am

Och McLade, I wish I could just give you a wee cuddle!

I'm sure it feels a ling way off, but in a few years you'll both look back and giggle at how horrible it was!


Quiet53man 62M
15 posts
4/5/2021 12:01 am

You are not alone, again, you are not alone in the challenge of parenting a teen especially in a split marriage situation. What you are going through is common and hard with two parents. I have never met you or fully understand you life, anger, acting out if frustrating and non productive to you and daughter. However as the mom is sounds like you are trying to be fair, level fighting an uphill battle.
Somehow, only you know your daughter, I hope you two can establish the gift of talking, communicating and not manipulation so often modeled and taught by TV, movies, and false leadership.
Maybe a third party you two could see a few times to help establish what you want, a safe sane place to live, let her know you home is a safe sane refuge where she can value clean clothing, a warm bed and meals to share with a parent who may become a friend once she is grown and is on her own.
Hang in there, hearts can mend, it takes alot of work, superglue and it takes two to want and (she would not admit it yet) need each other.
Maybe you two can watch Uncle Buck a few times to see a daughter/mom reconnect.
Good luck,


sweet0necter 48F  
2059 posts
4/4/2021 11:35 pm

Your both going through something. Might want to seek outside resources? Going from overly affectionate to you don't deserve anything I bought for you yesterday is less about your daughter and more about your reaction to her.


Ultraviolet_Sol 42M  
622 posts
4/4/2021 10:00 pm

Sending you hugs.

*. *. *


lonlyforlove2 79M  
32704 posts
4/4/2021 5:28 pm

I am so sorry that these things get into your life.. BUT you are not alone, there are many of us out here that have seen/done the same thing.. It is called "life"
try to just get ahold of what is left, do what you think is best , after you calm down a bit.. It will be alright!!.. I had three girls and we did have some hellish times, but now they are my world.. Have a good evening with what's left of Easter and relax, just be safe..

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


mc_justmc 62M  
6929 posts
4/4/2021 1:42 pm

I feel your pain. I look thru my laptop and see pics of my sweet little g-girl and wonder who this piece-of-shit, selfish, disrespectful, arrogant tenager is. Who, by the way, as of 3:30pm is still sleeping.


lust4life59 63F  
2552 posts
4/4/2021 12:18 pm

My late husband used to say the only thing worse than being around a teenage girl going through puberty would be throwing the mother into the mix that's going through menopause at the same time. I'm sorry, I've been there. In retrospect I wonder if I was more mortified at the person I loved most in the world behaving the way she did, or at my reactions to her behaviours. On the plus side it does get better the older they get, not an immediate change for sure, but at some point you realize you no longer have to walk on eggshells wile with them.


hardguy0051 70M
503 posts
4/4/2021 12:12 pm

This reminds me of the time my sister asked my wife how old our daughter was.

"Eleven," was the reply.

[sigh] "Enjoy it now. In a couple of years she'll be a teenager and that's when they turn hateful.

"Thanks a lot for that," my wife replied.


topherific 59M
5209 posts
4/4/2021 11:58 am


classicalrebel4 67M  
1755 posts
4/4/2021 10:48 am

This may sound like a cliche but I think the entertainment industry has a lot to answer for in the way kids behave nowadays. Giving unrealistic image of what a kid's life should be like. Especially when there are actors in their twenties portraying characters in their teens.

Please don't let me be misunderstood.


ProfessorNaught 109M
1406 posts
4/4/2021 10:46 am

Boy I'm glad you got to the 'what'.. I so hate reading drama
and I 'hate' very little - don't even use the word much

But this is where you need to change hats again - and I know you know it (and why you don't - so we'll pass over that part)

I presume she's a teenager with little awareness about the world around her, including her own. And, she's pissed at something, probably the world. But its a simple verbal response. The tactical actions (of removing benefits) were right on target. Verbally I would have said "thank you I don't deserve that" to put her on the defensive and walked away. I'd further say nothing to her for hours or days until she was so uncomfortable she decided to talk to you. And if it wasn't graceful, I wouldn't respond, even demand that she use some of those manners she was taught (and an apology) if she wanted a response.

At some point, you should point out the obvious. If she is so unhappy with her living conditions and rules of the house, she can and should start planning to move. At 18, she's no longer bound by regulations on parenting. Until then, there's always 'dad's house'. She may try to turn those words on around on you but just make sure she understands you're talking about her options - since she is the one displaying complete contempt for her living conditions and the people who care for her most.

There's more but just put your managers hat on and you'll see how to handle it. Use more questions than answers and statements out of the emotional duress she imposes on you. That's all on purpose as she avoids what's really on her mind. Not much different from dealing with employees. Only, you might want to know what she's dealing with and won't share. With employees, who cares (LO


patchdriver 66M/66F  
156 posts
4/4/2021 10:13 am

I must apologize about my recent post commenting about laughing at your story. At the time, some 30 years ago, our situation with the daughter from hell wasn't funny. Like you, she had her mother in tears for the same reason as you; me, very upset with her for making her mother so upset. Well, it took many years before she ceased to be THAT kind of daughter.


69ereatwetpussy 60M
6784 posts
4/4/2021 9:14 am

So sorry for your blessed day is gone down hill so early. Number one reason I have no kids. I didn't want any head ache in life.


patchdriver 66M/66F  
156 posts
4/4/2021 9:05 am

You would be in a long line for Scum Mother of the Year. I'm sorry, but I had to chuckle throughout your story because it brought back memories of a "daughter from hell". We had 4 boys and 2 daughters, and this daughter was more grief than her other siblings combined.


big54al 68M
2259 posts
4/4/2021 8:57 am

That just sounds like a normal day when my kids were growing up


author51 59F  
130010 posts
4/4/2021 8:54 am

Sounds like me, my daughter and my two sons when they were young..lol. Even on an Easter Sunday..There is a light at the end of the tunnel and just know that they grow up and sound like us when they have kids of their own.lol. Happy Easter..


citizen4722 64M  
74582 posts
4/4/2021 8:52 am

No doubt there's a few million other mom's feeling exactly the same the Easter


lov2suk1969 52M

4/4/2021 8:48 am

kids need to learn respect sometimes tough love is the only way they learn maybe they will think twice next time about how they acted and made you feel


ImInterested904 48M

4/4/2021 8:33 am

Happy Easter cutie!


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
4/4/2021 7:57 am

Me.

It's Easter, he has risen.

It's a day when families are supposed to come together and celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.

What am I doing?

I'm screaming at the Spawn because she's worked my last nerve and I refuse to put up with her newly developed 'entitled' attitude and clear disdain for me in general.

HAD IT!

I'm crying at the thought that my Middle Son, the one that loves me, is leaving me soon and I'll be left with HER...

The one who hates me.

"Give me that fucking phone RIGHT now! Ear buds too. Gone!"

"Really mom? Is that how you're going to play this?"

"Oh, that's not enough? I didn't take away enough to make you feel it yet? Ok, I want ALL of the stuff I bought you yesterday. Everything!"

"Whatever, I haven't formed an attachment to it yet."

"Fine, I'll take the stuff you did form an attachment to. Pick out an outfit, 1 pair of pants, 1 shirt. NOW!"

Grabbing her arm and throwing her into her bedroom, she started to cry instantly but picked out one outfit.

"Great! See this outfit?? You're going to get real comfy with it because for the next month, this is ALL you're going to be wearing."

Now here I am, silently crying out on the balcony so she can't hear how upset I feel.

what started all this?

It all started when I came home from the gym this morning and found my cute little kitty waiting for me by the door. I picked her up, listened to her purr for a minute, and headed down the hall to wish the Spawn a happy Easter.

Glaring at me, she curled her lips and sneered "What?!? What!!"

"Tillbot and I want to give you a hug and wish you a happy Easter!"

"Oh my God, get away from me...."

And, that was it. I saw my lifetime of motherhood flash before my eyes and any composure I once had was gone. I morphed into a raving lunatic throwing packages of underwear down the hall and screamed.

I'm pretty sure this feeling I'm feeling, right this very moment, is the feeling of my heart shattering into a million little pieces.....

I don't think it can ever be the same again.


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