Not so marital bliss 😳  

partygald 39F
3107 posts
3/8/2018 9:53 pm

Last Read:
3/9/2018 11:38 pm

Not so marital bliss 😳


This relationship thing is....odd. I’ve been married a few now and the Husband is slightly less than decades older than I am. I’ve always thought that if it’s anything that would cause a relationship to fail, it would be infidelity. Well we have an open marriage so...actually that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve caught him rewing around with another lady a few ago. I thought we handled that well. I mean, all he had to do was just tell me, but it was more than that, it we dealt with that and we actually came out the better.

But anyhow. In the last few months he’s been having really bad spells where he’ll become very negative. He’ll get very cranky, defensive and just downright adopt a very negative outlook to everything. He’ll go through this phase for a few days then out of it and everything will be back to normal. And even I have to admit, our normal is actually very good. Like I had my Boyfriend over a few weeks ago and we all had a blast. But when he gets into his negative mode, faaarkin hell, it is rough.

of the main factors it didn’t seem like it was such a big problem also, is the fact that the Husband travels a lot. On an average he’s out a week to weeks in a month. Because of that we end up arguing less cos we both realise how little time we have with each other. But the last weeks have been bad. He’s been distant 3/4 of a day, then tries to make it up the last 1/4 of the day. I don’t know about you but dealing with that shit is tiring.

I’ve asked him to talk about it and he’s not been very forthcoming. So I suggested seeking professional help, like a Counsellor or a shrink, and he’s even more reluctant. It’s come to a point where I’m actually really tired, trying to and having to tiptoe around what we talk about or what we do in case I trigger him off. I even travelled with him back to Singapore early this week, accompanying him for his work. It was enjoyable for me, it rains less at the moment in Singapore and the sun is mostly out. I didn’t meet any of my friends though cos I thought I’d focus on him, but I did buy a ton of underwear to stock up considering I lost most of mine and I did get a fair bit of sun by the hotel pool.

But I digress. Back to this. We did spend time together but it was strained cos he was in work mode. So now we’re planning a short trip maybe end of this month or next month just to refocus ourselves. I dunno. I’ll still give this a shot but damn it’s trying. Nothing worse than being in the presence of some and still feel al.

I still think we should seek professional but how do you some who doesn’t want help? Jeeeez.

Ah well. Rant over. Will post again on this when illuminated 😊
Thanks for reading

partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/8/2018 10:03 pm

On a sidenote, people still react strangely to ass cheeks and visible nipples in public. I was at the hotel pool two mornings in a light green bikini top and a T-back thong bottom and....how do I put this, a lot of people weren’t cool with it 😝 Like looking is one thing. Heck, even I check out other people in little clothes, ur staring, and worse, whipping out mobile phones is really, really rude. Right? Or am I being old and sensitive. I don’t think I am😝. Anyways. Anyone know if the beach scene is better?


beingbad_isgood 56M
13 posts
3/8/2018 10:53 pm

Good communication makes a good relationship. When communication goes bad try to analyze where it goes sideways. Try another approach perhaps. Try to clarify the message you are sending.


ClitLickB4DickU 63M  
1392 posts
3/8/2018 11:05 pm

From my own experiences, if your hubby is in his mid 50s perhaps his mind is preoccupied with job security and how to fund an early retirement? Obviously I don't know his business or your situation, but perhaps it is something along those lines.

Whatever it turns out to be, hopefully you will get to deal with it and return to open-married bliss

Yes, extremely rude to be whipping a phone out to capture your Stiff Nips and Ass cheeks and post them wherever........lucky they weren't whipping something else out \8


proteus_2a 56M
7979 posts
3/8/2018 11:11 pm

Good luck my lady.
Needs deep breaths and persistence
( Did I hear something about new underwear ? )

Cheers --P


Heathen_G 63M
7974 posts
3/9/2018 1:57 am

Why did you get married?

Think about "Why", because likely a professional will ask you the same question.


discreteSteve62 50M
2169 posts
3/9/2018 3:32 am

If the budget isn't a problem, it wouldn't hurt to go to counseling by yourself. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a counselor who is a good match, and if you manage to persuade him to go to a counselor who turns out to be a bad fit, he might be less cooperative if you try to get him to try a different counselor. But if you go on your own, you can at least try to get a feel for whether the counselor is a good fit before getting him to go.

Being separated for long periods of time can be difficult. Even if you're not under the stress of sexual deprivation because you're both free to play with others, you're still deprived of sex with each other -- and deprived of a lot of non-sexual pleasures of being with someone. I suppose one strategy is to try to talk by phone more, to see what you can do to make up for that need to be together.


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:30 pm

    Quoting  :

That’s what I said, and the signs all point to depression. But how do you get someone to seek help when they don’t want to? I suppose that’s the key. Still, thanks for stopping by


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:32 pm

    Quoting beingbad_isgood:
    Good communication makes a good relationship. When communication goes bad try to analyze where it goes sideways. Try another approach perhaps. Try to clarify the message you are sending.
Yeah, cos each one of our perception of any given situation is different. I get that. Still, one can only clarify as much as one can. Know what I mean?


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:34 pm

    Quoting ClitLickB4DickU:
    From my own experiences, if your hubby is in his mid 50s perhaps his mind is preoccupied with job security and how to fund an early retirement? Obviously I don't know his business or your situation, but perhaps it is something along those lines.

    Whatever it turns out to be, hopefully you will get to deal with it and return to open-married bliss

    Yes, extremely rude to be whipping a phone out to capture your Stiff Nips and Ass cheeks and post them wherever........lucky they weren't whipping something else out \8
Hahaha! Maybe they did whip something of theirs out. I didn’t hang around long enough to see anything, so let’s leave it at that😝

Thanks for the commenting


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:34 pm

    Quoting proteus_2a:
    Good luck my lady.
    Needs deep breaths and persistence
    ( Did I hear something about new underwear ? )

    Cheers --P
Thank you 😊


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:35 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Why did you get married?

    Think about "Why", because likely a professional will ask you the same question.
Yeah, that’s a good one. Back to basics right? Thanks.


partygald 39F
1963 posts
3/9/2018 11:38 pm

    Quoting discreteSteve62:
    If the budget isn't a problem, it wouldn't hurt to go to counseling by yourself. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a counselor who is a good match, and if you manage to persuade him to go to a counselor who turns out to be a bad fit, he might be less cooperative if you try to get him to try a different counselor. But if you go on your own, you can at least try to get a feel for whether the counselor is a good fit before getting him to go.

    Being separated for long periods of time can be difficult. Even if you're not under the stress of sexual deprivation because you're both free to play with others, you're still deprived of sex with each other -- and deprived of a lot of non-sexual pleasures of being with someone. I suppose one strategy is to try to talk by phone more, to see what you can do to make up for that need to be together.
We do speak and FaceTime very often when he’s travelling, but yeah. I think the quality of our conversations does need work. How we communicate, and how we generally feel. Ah well, if can’t be too easy right? If it is then in some twisted way, it might not seem like it’s worth it. Haha😋

Thanks again for stopping by


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