Can You Spare A Square?  

keithcancook 63M
7288 posts
2/21/2017 7:02 pm
Can You Spare A Square?


I like to think that I am not a wasteful individual. That my ecological footprint upon the earth can be minimized with a bit of resourcefulness. After all, I had read on a tree hugger website that if everyone in the world lived like a U.S. citizen, we'd need over five planets to support ourselves.

So, I'm thinking I should be able to improve. To make my footprint ever smaller. (Never smaller than a size 13, though. That would be too painful). I could be a bit more conscientious recycling my garbage. I could be more diligent in purchasing products made with the "greenest" technology possible.

Then I thought of my dear old dad. He taught me my earliest lesson in frugality. I can still remember him telling me that I shouldn't use more than eight squares of toilet paper per poop.

Yep, eight squares. I had never really counted before, but he was pretty intent that I understood that my limit was to be eight squares.

I remember a few things occurred to me at the time.

First, it would be hard for him to prove it if I went over the prescribed portion.

Then, I thought that on occasion, a person had to use more than eight squares for some situations. Like, what about the times when you think your done, but after you wipe up (using all eight of your squares), you suddenly realize that you aren't as finished as you thought you were. Does this constitute a new poop? Did I earn eight more squares? Or am I SOL?

Perhaps the rules could be stretched to mean eight squares for each little log? That would make it easy. A person could crap with pleasure, complimented with a wipe up without worry. Especially if you have those machine gun poops where they pinch out in hard little balls. Then again, that's no help really. Those hard little ones generally require less paper anyhow, don't they?

And what about if I am pooping in another place? At a friends house, or in a public restroom? Do the eight squares follow me wherever I go? (Okay, they do. But hopefully somebody will tell me there are squares on my shoe).

And, (horrors), what about diarrhea? Surely it takes more than eight in those situations. Right?

Then there is the problem of pile. No, not the poop, rather the ply of the paper. If you have 2-ply paper, then you have a real shot at the squareness. If you have Charmin, that's really good. Gawd help you if you end up with single ply. Like Scott.

In a pinch, such was the poopy pondering of that potty puppy, the young keithcancook. It's all true, I shit you not!

Don't forget to flush, and

blog on!

keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/21/2017 7:10 pm

well dang. I can't figure out how to post a photo in here? Grr. .

Oh well, blog on!


pocogato12 68F  
33791 posts
2/21/2017 8:09 pm

Hope the photo wasn't an outhouse- they only have Sears

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pocogato12 68F  
33791 posts
2/21/2017 8:10 pm

PS so does that mean 8 pages??

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redrockrascal 61M
21607 posts
2/21/2017 8:39 pm

You clearly had too much time on you hands today. Pinch off

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


marysia4u 64F
15362 posts
2/21/2017 8:48 pm

This is a really shitty subject.


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/21/2017 8:57 pm

    Quoting pocogato12:
    Hope the photo wasn't an outhouse- they only have Sears
Actually it is a pic of me holding up eight (count em) squares of Charmin.

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/21/2017 9:04 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    You clearly had too much time on you hands today. Pinch off
Ha! Regularity is a blessing, my friend.

Bombs away! er, I mean

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/21/2017 9:07 pm

    Quoting marysia4u:
    This is a really shitty subject.


I know the perfect bag to store it in...

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/21/2017 9:14 pm

I reckon dad would not have limited the pages. As long as it kept the catalogue away from mother...

Blog on!


spunkycumfun 60M/65F  
36127 posts
2/22/2017 9:22 am

My Dad was always on my case too about the number of squares of toilet paper I used. Just when you need to relax to do the job, my Dad's strictures made me stressed to the point I couldn't start the job - no squares used. His urgings worked!


author51 57F  
96518 posts
2/22/2017 10:34 am

My Dad taught me the same lesson and it is worse when you are a girl because we just can not shake like you guys can...LMFAO.Tht was too funny..

One can never have enough JOY in their life...


sweet_VM 62F
80989 posts
2/22/2017 3:13 pm

lol ty for the laugh today hugs V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/22/2017 4:17 pm

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    My Dad was always on my case too about the number of squares of toilet paper I used. Just when you need to relax to do the job, my Dad's strictures made me stressed to the point I couldn't start the job - no squares used. His urgings worked!
No poops at all? I'd hate to be near whenever you fart... amp;

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/22/2017 4:22 pm

    Quoting author51:
    My Dad taught me the same lesson and it is worse when you are a girl because we just can not shake like you guys can...LMFAO.Tht was too funny..
Never forget, Brain. The Venting Blog will always deliver the straight poop directly to its readers...

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/22/2017 4:27 pm

    Quoting  :

Ha! I love it when you guys respond in the spirit of the post. Hey, if ya really want to do more you can always use both sides of the paper...

Blog on!


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/22/2017 4:31 pm

    Quoting sweet_VM:
    lol ty for the laugh today hugs V
It's always a pleasure to deliver some humor to my blogmates. Say, I'll bet you get by with less than eight squares. It's a well known fact that Canadians are less full of shit than Americans.

Blog on!


missthee 54F  
4237 posts
2/22/2017 6:14 pm

To poop or not to poop...

I could share details of the things I do to be eco-conscious at home but then nobody from here would want anything to do with me.


keithcancook 63M
18277 posts
2/22/2017 8:08 pm

    Quoting missthee:
    To poop or not to poop...

    I could share details of the things I do to be eco-conscious at home but then nobody from here would want anything to do with me.
I reckon even Shakespeare was constipated on occasion.

Agreed. Some things are just TMI. Yikes!

Blog on!


marysia4u 64F
15362 posts
2/23/2017 12:59 am

    Quoting keithcancook:
    I know the perfect bag to store it in...

    Blog on!


Great response.


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