Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?  

bustinout20202 65F  
859 posts
1/11/2022 7:16 am
Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?

Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?

That's what I woke up talking to myself about. Do you do that? Wake up and have these conversations going on inside your head that spill out into actual words when no one is around?

[Or do I really need a strait jacket? Hmmm, but even that could be fun! ]

Anyhoo, today it was reflecting on how so many of the gentlemen Ive met on here tend to NOT look like the photos posted in their profiles.

Now I know men have complained about that as far as women go:

"That photo must've been from at least 20 years ago!",
"That's been photoshopped"
or "She's gained a few pounds since that photo was taken."€

The hubs warned me about that, which is why we had a photo session one night when I first decided to do this. I wanted my photos and profile to be as accurate as possible. I figured either I was your cup of tea as a short bbw* or not.
[*B.IG B.eautiful and/or B.usty W.oman]

But looking back on the gentlemen I've had opportunity to meet, only a couple looked the same [okay, maybe even better!] than the photos that were shared on here.

That's not to say they were bad looking. Just different, is all.

Its not like biting in to a cookie expecting those wonderful semi-sweet chocolate morsels only to realize that, nope, ya got a mouthful of raisins instead!! No, its not like that...raisins are a disappointment to me. No one I've met from here is like a raisin to me...well, except one; but that is another story for another day!

I have found each man fascinating in his own right. I do enjoy meeting new folks; hearing their stories, experiencing the witty banter and flirting, and if it turns out to be more than that, all the better.

But I digress...

I don't think its their fault really. I think our minds have something to do with it. Our brains tend to fill in the blanks and come to conclusions that aren't quite accurate. I mean there's only so much one can see from a body part, no? Can you truly recognize a guy in a bar from his dick pic? Or can you judge a gal by her cleavage or her camel toe? If you can, then boy! You are good!!

Back to the brain, photography and perceptions...where was I?
Oh yes! Body parts! Not just dick pics, but a photo with only lips, or just one eye, or a tatted arm...our mind's eye naturally builds a story or fantasy around that photograph that makes sense to us, whether accurate or not.

I remember T.O.G., aka "Torso of the Gods"...one of the first men I met on here; well, online anyway; I never met him in person.
His profile was a black and white pic of a well sculpted torso and a hint of a bearded jawline [kind of my kryptonite, btw]

The kind of photo that would be in a Calvin Klein ad.

The kind of jawline you could see nuzzling into the crook of his neck to kiss.

The kind of beard with a hint of salt and pepper, that would invite you to reach out and touch.

As our relationship went further, he sent me a face pic.

He didn't match what my mind's eye and Calvin's ad execs would've done, but he was handsome, nonetheless.

It was just different, is all.

Pics can be accidentally deceptive. With other pics I remember thinking: Ohhh, he's got dark hair under that cap and a twinkling smile!€
Actual meet: the smile was there, but no hair under that cap! Again, a very handsome and kissable pate; just different is all.

Another time it was: Hmmm, looks like he would have a husky build, big bushy white hair from an old out of focus photograph€
Actual meet: tall, athletic/thin, with close cropped light brown hair.

One gentleman, whom I loved meeting and getting to know, had never sent me a face pic. I only had his torso to go on. He had been extremely verbal in the texts he sent. We had paragraphs of conversations. Between the banter and his torso pics, I was anticipating our meet. When we did finally meet, and because I'd never seen his face, I spent most of that initial meet erasing in my mind who I thought I was going to meet, and replacing him with whom I actually met.

It was just different, that's all.

I truly enjoyed him, by the way. We met a couple of other times when he was in my area.

See what your mind concludes looking at these pics, sent to me by my Poetry Man. He believes that men are prewired to see curves, erotically so, even if they're not there.

What do you think? First thought is curves, right? Well, LACE and curves!


This IS a body part. Just not the one you think it is

Done any good reading lately?

You light up my life!

See how your eyes need a moment of readjustment to look and see what is really there?
That is how my first meets go a lot of the time. I have come to the realization that BlackSexMatch.com is more like ABDF [Adult Blind Date Finder]. Actually I think all online dating sites are like that.

Hmmm

I have learned that it helps to just let go of expectations and simply go with the flow and allow myself to really get to know and enjoy the people I meet.

I asked Poetry Man if I looked like my pics when he met me. His response was: I liked your energy.€

Well crap! What is that supposed to mean??


~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~


CleavageFan4U 65M  
69374 posts
1/11/2022 7:45 am

So true. But really (unless the pictures are TOTAL fakes) when I get to the in-person meeting stage, I'm more focused on their personality/playfulness than their looks.

Premature Perhaps, but
I ALWAYS Miss Out on this Stuff
The End of the Crackberry
[post 3312759] My Private Post - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets – Anything you write here is just between us


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 8:41 am:
I agree to a certain extent, that hopefully by the actual meet there's a bit of a connection. But some men aren't as gifted in the repartee as you are, and many give fuzzy, in the background type pics.

bustinout20202 65F  
1080 posts
1/11/2022 7:46 am

Every Picture Tells a Story...but is it a true story?
That’s what I woke up talking to myself about. Do you do that? Wake up and have these conversations going on inside your head that spill out into actual words when no one is around?
[Or do I really need a strait jacket…hmmm, but even that could be fun! ]
Anyhoo, today it was reflecting on how so many of the gentlemen I’ve met on here tend to NOT look like the photos posted in their profiles.
Now I know men have complained about that as far as women go:
“that photo must’ve been from at least 20 years ago!”, “that’s been photoshopped”, or “she’s gained a few pounds since that photo was taken.”
The hubs warned me about that, which is why we had a photo session one night when I first decided to do this. I wanted my photos and profile to be as accurate as possible. I figured either I was your cup of tea as a short bbw* or not.
[*B.IG B.eautiful and/or B.usty W.oman]
But looking back on the gentlemen I’ve had opportunity to meet, only a couple looked the same [okay, maybe even better!] than the photos that were shared on here.
That’s not to say they were bad looking. Just different, is all.
It’s not like biting in to a cookie expecting those wonderful semi-sweet chocolate morsels only to realize that, nope, ya got a mouthful of raisins instead!! No, it’s not like that…raisins are a disappointment to me. No one I’ve met from here is like a raisin to me…well, except one; but that’s another story for another day!
I have found each man fascinating in his own right. I do enjoy meeting new folks; hearing their stories, experiencing the witty banter and flirting, and if it turns out to be more than that, all the better.
But I digress…

I don’t think it’s their fault really. I think our minds have something to do with it. Our brains tend to fill in the blanks and come to conclusions that aren’t quite accurate. I mean there’s only so much one can see from a body part, no? Can you truly recognize a guy in a bar from his dick pic? Or can you judge a gal by her cleavage or her camel toe? If you can, then boy! You are good!!
Back to the brain, photography and perceptions...where was I?
Oh yes! Body parts! Not just dick pics, but a photo with only lips, or just one eye, or a tatted arm...our mind’s eye naturally builds a story or fantasy around that photograph that makes sense to us, whether accurate or not.
I remember T.O.G., aka “Torso of the Gods”; one of the first men I met on here; well, online anyway – never met him in person.
His profile was a black and white pic of a well sculpted torso and a hint of a bearded jawline […kind of my kryptonite, btw]

The kind of photo that would be in a Calvin Klein ad.
The kind of jawline you could see nuzzling into the crook of his neck to kiss.
The kind of beard with a hint of salt and pepper, that would invite you to reach out and touch.
As our “relationship” went further, he sent me a face pic.
He didn’t match what my mind’s eye and Calvin’s ad execs would’ve done, but he was handsome, nonetheless.
It was just different, is all.
Pics can be accidentally deceptive. With other pics I remember thinking “Ohhh, he’s got dark hair under that cap and a twinkling smile!” Actual meet: the smile was there, but no hair under that cap! Again, a very handsome and kissable pate; just different is all.
Another time it was “Hmmm…looked like he’d have a husky build, big bushy white hair from an old out of focus photograph” Actual meet: tall, athletic/thin, with close cropped light brown hair.
One gentleman, whom I loved meeting and getting to know, had never sent me a face pic. I only had his torso to go on. He had been extremely verbal in the texts he sent. We had paragraphs of conversations. Between the banter and his torso pics, I was anticipating our meet. When we did finally meet, and because I’d never seen his face, I spent most of that initial meet erasing in my mind who I thought I was going to meet, and replacing him with whom I actually met.
It was just different, that’s all.
I truly enjoyed him, by the way. We met a couple of other times when he was in my area.
See what your mind concludes looking at these pics, sent to me by my Poetry Man. He believes that men are prewired to see curves, erotically so, even if they’re not there. What do you think? First thought is curves, right?
.
See how your eyes need a moment of readjustment to look and see what’s really there? That’s how my first meets go a lot of the time. I have come to the realization that BlackSexMatch.com is more like ABDF [Adult Blind Date Finder]. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to; I’m on a Blind Date site. Actually I think all online dating sites are like that.
It helps to just let go of expectations and simply go with the flow and allow myself to really get to know and enjoy the people I meet.
I asked Poetry Man if I looked like my pics when he met me. His response was, “I liked your energy.”
Well crap! What’s that supposed to mean??

~~~" Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift." --Mary Oliver~~~


lust4life59 63F  
2552 posts
1/11/2022 7:53 am

I've had the same experiences, not bad, just different than I expected. And some people that I have seen plenty of pictures of, and they DO look like their pictures, there's something about their body language and attitude that makes them less and or more appealing than I expected. Maybe that's the "energy" Poetry Man is speaking of?


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 8:42 am:
Exactly. I have one friend that totally didn't look like I expected, but we get on quite well together!

justskin1 70M
13175 posts
1/11/2022 8:00 am

I agree that pictures can be very deceptive. Sometimes on purpose but as or more often not. That we the viewer are doing all or most of the deception is so true. One thing that I find fascinating is how often when I look at a tiny thumbnail pic I will think it is likely one thing and then when I see the larger pic I find I was way off base. And then there are the fantasies that we invent about what is not shown in the picture. As you say, usually not bad but certainly different. A very good post.

Sending a big hug and hopes for a great day and week.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 8:46 am:
Thanks Justskin! It is funny, especially how we are conditioned to meet people now: mostly online. I know some have said on here that they meet folks at the grocery store or in line at Starbucks. But that doesn't seem to happen in my world. Thanks for commenting!

poole47 59M
14 posts
1/11/2022 8:58 am

Sadly too many members use pics to very falsely advertise!


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:13 pm:
I know, and I can't imagine doing that if your intent is to actually meet someone.
Thanks so much for the read and comment!
~Busti

Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
1/11/2022 9:04 am

I play that game ALL the time while driving.

The car in front of me has a certain vibe to it driven in a particular way with distinctive speed and a flair for extreme acceleration. It's black or deep red, and pristine or covered in dirt, and my job is to try and predict what she looks like before I get to the next light — and she f**king cuts me off again!

I've rarely gotten any of their features right, but damn is it fun to peer through my window into hers. If I get lucky and she likes MY look, she'll smile coyly as if she knows my secret.

At the very least, I occasionally get to gaze at her middle finger... before she rips down the road. 😎❗❗


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:16 pm:
Do you get a glimpse of what ring is on that finger? Just curious, since I work at a jewelry store now. lol!

btw, mine is red and black and is dirty all over!

boobwhisperer69 59M  
8323 posts
1/11/2022 9:38 am

Those pics are full of trickery!!!!!!!!!!


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:17 pm:
Did ya figger out what they were, once your eyes adjusted?

spunkycumfun 62M/67F  
41171 posts
1/11/2022 9:44 am

Our eyes are the worst sense we have; our brain does most of the work filling in the gaps.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:19 pm:
Ya know I never thought of it that our eyes would be the worst sense that we have...what would be the BEST sense in your opinion??

Blueyedguy823 55M
1077 posts
1/11/2022 9:44 am

I completely get the "I liked your energy" assumption from pictures. I look for that too. Its not always reliable. Lighting might have been good or bad. Same with camera angle. All of that can effect the viewer's perception of the photo. Man, its such a crapshoot.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:20 pm:
Hi Blue eyes! Thanks for stopping by! Yeah, it is a crap shoot. Blind Dates R Us!

crosstraining 69T  
8367 posts
1/11/2022 10:23 am

Interesting , I luv your pics , XOXO


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:22 pm:
Thanks Cross! Thanks for stopping by! Luv the pink, btw!

staci_19702 51T  
3767 posts
1/11/2022 11:02 am

Such a good post.
I wish I could identify a woman by looking at her cleavage. That might not be as awkward as when I try to sniff their behinds.
There’s no question about “what you see is what you get” with us, right!

Have a great day! 💋
Staci


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:24 pm:
bwahaha! My mind's eye just pictured you in a bar sniffing!!!
thanks for stopping by my friend!!

suckingsissy4fun 54M

1/11/2022 11:23 am

makes one think for sure.

ones i dislike are when they are from 10-20 yrs ago and they wont update...lol.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:31 pm:
Hey thanks for stopping by! Yeah, that's what the hubs said he's encountered.

citizen4722 64M  
74582 posts
1/11/2022 12:46 pm

My mind often plays tricks but I can forgive it this time


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:33 pm:
Citizen, did ya figure out what everything was? I especially like the first one...when its small like a thumbnail, it really looks like a gartered woman!

Owatalife 65M
1711 posts
1/11/2022 1:25 pm

For some reason I never pictured you as short, not that this makes much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. On to today's subject I am in complete agreement about some folks looking nothing like their pictures & your point about how in one's mind certain aspects of body or face take on a different look part of which is wish fulfillment. With that said failing eyesight also plays a part in soo many people looking like someone I know from a distance when in fact they look nothing like said person. There certainly is a story in every picture & it is indeed a damn fine song also, one that always brings to mind misspent youth & happy carefree days.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:36 pm:
Thanks so much for stopping by. I like that..."wish fulfillment". That's a great way to put it. Funny, I pictured the album cover as I wrote this!

leefury7 71M

1/11/2022 2:23 pm

I always use recent pictures of ME! However, I am one who could look at a model on the cover of COSMO and not recognize her at all on some other cover. I have met women who sent me pictures of themselves and then when I met them, though there was some resemblance, where not as I imagined them from their picture. In my case, a little makeup can completely change the look of a woman from one photograph to the next. Also, facial expressions or lighting can be the cause of the variants. So... though I do know what is facially pleasant for me to look at, anymore, as long as you're not sloppy fat, I really do not care as long as you are nice, respectful and generally upbeat. Just me.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:39 pm:
Thanks for stopping by Lee! COSMO! I used to love that mag for the before and after shots they would do! What a difference!

LadiesR2B1rst 59M  
2735 posts
1/11/2022 2:36 pm

It's probably time for me to update my pictures but, so far the ladies I have met were pleasantly surprised when I met them. Thanks for sharing.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:41 pm:
If they were pleasantly surprised then I say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!! lol!
Thanks for stopping by!
~Busti

Paulxx001 65M  
22616 posts
1/11/2022 3:15 pm

q?

wgstz the poynt of posteeng a comment if it taykes u twelve hors two aprooov it?

kinda blastS all the fun outta things...

... don't it?
becomes a monologue...
and thatz fyne... if thatz wat yore after.

Iz that it? 🤔


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 6:45 pm:
Nope, not wat ah'm aftor. Haz it bin 12hors alreddee? Jez got free to check on this.

lonlyforlove2 79M  
32704 posts
1/11/2022 6:08 pm

I have seen it both ways, some suprised me to no end and ohers were just made up entries to be looked at. It is like that in life till one eally gets to know the other, there can be hidden agenda that may take some time to show,,
But for he most part If one is just a bit caeful this can be minimised.. Good post good read!

Stop by at lonlyforlove2
also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow
Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker"
also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 11:09 pm:
Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm sorry regarding the made up entries. Wish there was a way to stop that from happening! I like the whole idea of getting to know someone, makes everything else so much better!
~Busti

69ereatwetpussy 60M
6784 posts
1/11/2022 6:16 pm

what you see is what you get here dear
if i ever come out west and find you
ill be everything you see here
i have nothing to hide


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 11:11 pm:
Thanks so much my friend! Thanks for stopping by! You know what they say: "Go West, young man!
~Busti

justskin1 70M
13175 posts
1/11/2022 8:24 pm

I look for a combo of energy, curiousity, openness and confidence when I see a woman or her picture. I try to keep my main profile pic up to date but one problem I have with pics, especiallyselfies, that can leave a wrong impression is I tend to get a wooden look on my face unless caught unaware. I expect that happens with a lot of people and that messes with showing what sort of person they are.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/11/2022 11:13 pm:
I dunno, Justskin, you're smiling now!

allgud69xxx 49M
502 posts
1/11/2022 10:12 pm

A photograph is a 2D representation of a 3D reality. And static, at that. Even looking at someone sitting still in real life, the extra “frames” from the small movements provide more info than a camera captures. As such, a pic’s always bound to fail, a little. And then, as you said, the mind fills in some details, probably extracted or distilled from our own experiences and perceptions.

I’ve met a few women from the nine world, and all were slightly different than pics, which is just fine. As was pointed out by others, if you get to the point of meeting, you may already be interested or drawn by more than just what they look like on the outside It is that way, for me - looks are great, but I can’t be attracted to that aspect in isolation.

Perhaps that’s what defines photogenic people - they look very similar in person as well as from behind the lens (at least as far as the photographer sees).

-- allgud69xxx

Yeah ... that's right ... I went there ..
Wanna msg, but can't - my Postbox blog Another way to say hi my Postbox


bustinout20202 replies on 1/12/2022 5:57 am:
Hey thanks for stopping by! I was wondering when someone would bring up the 2D images into a 3D reality, which is another aspect of photos vs. real life. It's just that we have become a bit reliant on the digital: in images and conversations so much so that real interaction seems to be a rare thing. For example, the no pic guy, who was so conversational in text, was rather shy and quiet in real life. And when out the other night listening to music, we observed a couple where the man was so immersed in scrolling and texting that he virtually ignored his partner sitting across the table from him the whole night.
Appreciate your comments!
~Busti

spunkycumfun 62M/67F  
41171 posts
1/12/2022 4:51 am

    Quoting spunkycumfun:
    Our eyes are the worst sense we have; our brain does most of the work filling in the gaps.
That's a good question. My guess is that it is our skin that is the best sense we have, but it's only a guess.


bustinout20202 replies on 1/12/2022 6:02 am:
That was my thought too: that the sense of touch would be the winner!

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