Once in a Blue Moon
 
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No Longer In Use
Posted:Dec 7, 2021 7:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2021 1:48 pm
140 Views
A wife coming home from a shopping trip was horrified find her husband in bed with a oung lovely thing.

Just as she was about storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words.

"Before you leave I want to tell you how this all came about. Driving along the highway I saw this young woman looking tired and bedragged so I offered her a lift. She was hungry so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast that you had forgotten in the refridgerator. She had only some worn sandals so I gave her a pair of good shoes you discarded because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her the sweater that I got you for your birthday, The one you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfevtly good but are too small for you now. Then when she was about to leave the house she paused and asked,

'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore ?' "



"but every night the men would come around, and lay thier money down" ~ Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves by Cher

~Wee~
6 Comments
Gifts From Santa
Posted:Dec 6, 2021 7:02 am
Last Updated:Dec 6, 2021 12:57 pm
259 Views
Christmas morning a cop was sitting his at a traffic light.

Next him is a his shiny new bike.

The cop says the , "Nice bike you got there, did Santa bring that you ?"

The says, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well next year tell Santa put a taillight that bike."

The cop then proceeds hand the a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The takes the ticket but before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice you got there, did Santa bring that you ?"

Humoring the , the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The says, "Well next year tell Santa put the dick underneath the ."



~Wee~
7 Comments
Zoro (Black Lingerie Challenge)
Posted:Dec 4, 2021 9:06 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2021 5:49 am
388 Views




Have a good weekend !

~Wee~
15 Comments
The Virgin
Posted:Dec 3, 2021 8:32 am
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2021 7:24 am
600 Views
A Lawyer got married to a woman who previously had been married 12 times
On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride asked her new groom "Please be gentle. I am still a virgin."
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of the husbands would have been able to perform.
He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenom.
She responded:
"My first husband was a Sales Represenativewho spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms how good it would be."
"My second husband was from Software Services, he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised to the documentation."
"My third husband was from Field Services and repeatidly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up."
"My 4th husband was from Educational Services and you know the old saying 'Those who CAN... do, and those who can't.. teach."
"My 5th husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver."
"My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years research, implement, and design a new state of the art method."
"My seventh husband was form Finance and Administration, he knew how but he just wasn't sure if it was his job or not."
"My eigth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how to do it."
"My nineth husband was a Marketing Manager, even though he had the product, he wasn't sure how to position it."
"My tenth husband was a psychiacrist. All he wanted to do was to talk about it."
"My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he wanted to do was look at it."
"My twelfth husband was a Stamp Collector, and all he wanted to do was.... God I miss him."
"So now I have married you and I am really excited."
"Why is that ?" asked the Lawyer.
"Well, it should be obvious ! You're a Lawyer !! I just know that I am going to get screwed this time !!! "



~Wee~
11 Comments
Don't Wake Mom !
Posted:Dec 2, 2021 9:06 am
Last Updated:Dec 3, 2021 6:48 am
361 Views
A man was approached by a coworker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work.

The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.

The coworker suggested a way to overcome that problem :

"When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently slide down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex.

Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So the man agreed to try it , and went out and enjoyed himself.

Late that night he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, an dgave her oral sex.

She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to pee, so he told her he would be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hallway to the bathroom.

When he opened the door and went in, he was surprised to see his wife sitting on the toilet.

"How did you get in here ?" he asked.

"Shhhhhhhh", she replied, "You'll wake up my mother !"



~Weee~
7 Comments
The Banker's Balls
Posted:Dec 1, 2021 5:07 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2021 3:28 am
1747 Views
A old lady went into the bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of . She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because ".. it's a lot of ". After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office. The bank president then asked how much she would like to .

She replied "$5,000.00" and dumped the bag of out on the president's desThe president of coarse curious how she had come by all this , so he asked "Ma'am I am surprised you are carrying so much around, where did you get this ?" The old lady replied "I make bets." He then asked "Bets.. what kind of bets ?" The old woman said "Well for example I wil lbet you $25,000.00 that your balls are square." "Ha" laughed the president "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet."

The old lady challenged "So would you like take my bet ?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000.00 that my balls are not square." The old lady then said "Ok, but since there is so much involved, may I bring my lawer with me tomorrow at :00 AM as a witness ?" "Sure" replied the president. That night he bacame very nervous about the bet and and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he sure that absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning at precisely :00 AM the old lady appeared with her lawer at the president's office. She introduced her lawer and repeated the bet. "$25,000.00 says the president's balls are square." The president agreed with the bet once again and the old lady asked him if he would drop his pants so she could see. The old lady peered closely at them and asked if she could feel them. "Well, ok" said the president, $25,000.00 is a lot of so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then he noticed the lawer banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell is the matter with your lawer ?" She replied "Nothing except I bet him $0, 000.00 that at a after :00 AM today that I would have the president of the bank of Canada's balls in my hand."



~Wee~
11 Comments
The Nun And The Cabbie
Posted:Nov 30, 2021 8:26 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2021 3:57 am
1029 Views
A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rear view mirror. She says, "What is it my ?"

The cabbie replies, "Oh I am too embarassed to say, sister."

She says, "Please feel free to say anything, I have been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise anymore."

The cabbie says "Well I have always had this overwhelming fantasy to get a blowjob from a nun, Oh I am so ashamed !"

The nun says "That's ok, I understand the need of the flesh. I will do it on two conditions, one is that you are Catholic and two is that you are not married."

The cabbie says "Yes on both conditions !"

So they drive around a corner where the nun takes care of the cabbie. As they continue on their way the nun notices that the cabbie is crying. She says "What's wrong my ?"

He says, "Sister I lied, I am Jewish and I am married."

She says, "That's ok, my name is Steve and I am on my way to a costume party !"

~Wee~


9 Comments
Packaging Material
Posted:Nov 26, 2021 7:20 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 3:27 am
523 Views
The day before his wedding this guy decides to play a game of baseball with his buddies.

Playing shortstop he gets hit in the nads with a line drive.

He goes to the doctor in a lot of pain, and the doctor tells him there is nothing he can do except wrap it up.

So the doc takes a few tongue depressors and wraps it in a splint.

The next night on the honeymoon his lovely wife comes to him dressed in a nightgown.

Taking down the top she shows him her breasts and proudly says "No man has ever touched these, I have saved them for just you for tonight."

Surprise, but not to be outdone, he pulls down his pants and says. "Look at this honey, it's still in the crate."



~Wee~
7 Comments
A little Thanksgiving humor
Posted:Nov 25, 2021 4:45 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2021 4:43 am
583 Views
I know that I have been on the quiet side lately but I do want to step up and wish you all a great Thanksgiving. Thank you once again to those of you who reply and follow. Enjoy the holiday !

I will leave you with a little humor (of coarse)

A man called up his and told her the bad news, he and his wife were getting a divorce. "but why dad ? What happened ?", the asked. "I've been miserable for years and I just can't take it anymore, I've packed my bags and I'm leaving tonight !" the father replied.
"Wait dad, don't do anything drastic, I'm coming over to talk to you guys, can you wait at least until tomorrow ?" asked the . "Ok, why don't you bring john and the too, I'm sure your mom will want to see them" The dad said. "Ok' said the . "See you then"

The man hung up the phone and said "Honey ! The are coming over for thanksgiving "



"Get up everybody and sing " ~ We are family By Sister Sledge

~Wee~
8 Comments
The Phone Call
Posted:Nov 24, 2021 6:25 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 4:32 am
502 Views

Several men are in the locker room at a local golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

Man: "Hello"

Woman: "Honey, its me. Are you at the club ?"

Man: "Yes"

Woman: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only 1200 dollars right now, down from 1900. Is it okay if I buy it ?"

Man: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

Woman: "Oh, thanks so very much. I also stopped by the Mercedes garage this morning and saw the new models. There was one that I really, really liked."

Man: "How much ?"

Woman: "80,000"

Man: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the optional extras."

Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house that we looked at last year is back on the market. They're asking 1,500,000."

Man: "Well then, go ahead and make them an offer, but no more than 1,250,000."

Woman: "Wow, great ! I'll see you later ! I love you !"

Man: "Love you too, bye."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in absolute astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks "Anyone know who's phone this is ?"

~Wee~
5 Comments
Best Toast Of The Night
Posted:Nov 23, 2021 6:13 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 2:40 am
597 Views

John O'reilly hoisted his beer and said "Here's to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife !"

That won him top prize at the pub for toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, " I won the prize for the best toast of the night".

She said, "Oh that's great !, and what was the toast ?"

He said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life sitting in church next to my wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed John", Mary said

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, " John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She nodded and said, "Yes, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

~Wee~
4 Comments
The Blonde And The Body Builder
Posted:Nov 21, 2021 7:19 am
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2021 4:30 am
784 Views

A 21 year old blond met a large, powerfully built body builder at the bar.After a number of drinks they agree go back his place.

The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims "Boom !"

The Blonde exclaims "What a great chest you have !"

He tells her "That's 100 lbs of dynamite, baby !"

Then he rips off his pants and once again, yelling ,"Boom !"

The blonde is impressed and and says "My, what massive calves you have !"

The body builder tells her "That's 100 pounds of dynamite, baby !"

He then rips off his underwear and exclaims "Boom !"

The blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his cloths back on and chases after her. He catches with her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, "I don't want be around that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was !"

~Wee~
11 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
No Longer In Use (6)Paulxx001
Dec 7, 2021 12:30 pm
Gifts From Santa (7)spunkycumfun
Dec 6, 2021 8:15 am
Zoro (Black Lingerie Challenge) (15)PonyGirl1965
Dec 5, 2021 1:09 am
The Virgin (11)spunkycumfun
Dec 4, 2021 4:54 am
Don't Wake Mom ! (8)PonyGirl1965
Dec 2, 2021 10:19 pm
The Banker's Balls (12)PonyGirl1965
Dec 2, 2021 12:13 am
The Nun And The Cabbie (10)PonyGirl1965
Nov 30, 2021 11:02 pm
Packaging Material (7)PonyGirl1965
Nov 26, 2021 9:26 pm
A little Thanksgiving humor (9)PonyGirl1965
Nov 25, 2021 9:59 pm
The Blonde And The Body Builder (12)PonyGirl1965
Nov 25, 2021 12:08 am
Best Toast Of The Night (4)PonyGirl1965
Nov 25, 2021 12:07 am