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What Is The Lotus Sex Position?
Posted:Jan 23, 2022 6:35 am
Last Updated:Jan 24, 2022 6:41 am
Despite what you might think, missionary isn't the Most Intimate Position. Try lotus.

What is the lotus sex position?
The lotus sex position involves one partner sitting cross-legged, and the other facing them, straddling them. Think "cowgirl" position (one person rides on top the other) but seated upright.
"This configuration leaves two face-to-face bodies pressed tightly together, which can be intimate, sweet, and sexy.

Advantages of the lotus position:
1. More intimate connection with your partner.

We usually pick sex positions based on what you're in the mood for. Craving deep penetration? Doggy style. Super tired? Spooning. Well, if you're craving more intimacy and romance in your sex sessions, the lotus position is perfect. It offers the opportunity for kissing, full-body embraces, and nonstop eye contact.
Incorporate eye-gazing, in-sync breathing, and touching your foreheads together to increase the feeling of connection. This is not a position for a fast fuck! It allows for slow lovemaking and a soulful connection.

2. Good for clitoral stimulation.
Research suggests at least 36% of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to climax. This pleasure bulb contains over 8,000 nerves, so doting on it is always a good move. And with the lotus position, the clit is right there! I have found if you're on top, your clit will rub against my body as you rock your hips against theirs. I can also reach between your legs, or reach between your own legs using your fingers or a vibrator.

3. Lots of variation.
Small adjustments and variations of the lotus sex position can create totally different sensations. For example: grinding versus bouncing, leaning back or forward, fully embracing while rocking, straightening your legs or propping yourself up with them, or adding sex toys. Lets get creative with it!

4. Energetically powerful.
I am into Reiki. In this position, all your chakras line up with your partner's chakras, which creates multiple energy connections between us.
A chakra refers to a center of concentrated, spiritual energy throughout the body. Early traditions say that every human has seven chakras that run from your pelvis up your spine and to the top of your head. Even if you're not into spiritual stuff, all that means is that this position can feel uniquely energizing because your bodies are so in sync.

5. Great option for anal exploration.
Doggy style may have the reputation as being the anal sex position. But with the lotus position, you can use a penis, dildo, or double-ended dildo to explore anal penetration too. So much Fun!
In fact, because I can see your face the entire time, Lotus may actually be a better option for first-time anal play. In addition to verbal communication, I am able to read your facial expressions to judge speed, depth, and comfort.

6. Adaptable and accessible.

This position can be modified so that any gender or genital partner partings can partake.
Not as flexible or mobile? That is ok, we can do this if you are in a wheel chair or use a stool and straddle. We don’t need to be on the floor to gain the benefit. Free your mind from conventions. This position offers “openness” of body and soul.
Ancient origins.
The lotus position is actually just the Western name for the most famous tantric sex position: the yab-yum. The term 'lotus' took off because someone decided it is more palatable to Western ears.
What makes the yab-yum position tantric, however, is not the configuration of your bodies but how you make love in that position. Tantric sex means you're breathing, focused on the moment (and not some future orgasmic goal), and being creative. This means simply getting into the lotus position doesn't mean you're having tantric sex.
Suggestions on how to try the lotus sex position.
To get into this position, have one partner—the partner who's going to be doing the penetrating with a dildo, penis, or fingers (if any penetration is going to be taking place!)—drop their bum onto the bed (or floor, or couch!) and assume a crisscross applesauce position.
Facing them, have the second straddle them and lower down so that you're both chest-to-chest and eye-to-eye. If it's comfortable, the seated-on-top person can wrap their legs tightly around their partner's torso while the bottom partner pulls you both together with their arms.
This can be done with male or female on bottom depending on the play desired. What you do from here depends on your genital combination and sexual preferences. Typically, the partner on the bottom will penetrate the partner on top, and then for (vaginal or anal) penetrative intercourse to take place. It's all about slow, soulful lovemaking. So rather than fast thrusting, try slow rocking.
If penetration is not on the table (er, bed), lets explore oral-to-nipple stimulation, hand hanky-panky, making out, ear and neck licking/sucking/tongue-flicking, external vibrator use, and grinding.

Tips for mixing it up:
1. Incorporate erotic talk. Yessssss
Face-to-face positions are always a good time to try out some erotic talk or share some words of love. Lets try something as simple as "You feel so good pressed against me," or "I love feeling this close to you.” It feels good to hear and even better to say.

Even breathy moans, gasps, and heavy breathing go a long way in arousing.

These simple expressions improve connection. But more importantly create openness that allow an emotional connection and allow you to really release and let orgasms happen. Statistics show 80% of women need an emotional connection to orgasm.
2. Let’s Lather up with lube.
Lube can make any sex act better, so don't snooze on lube for lotus. It helps reduce friction, increases the glide and slide between bodies, supports you going faster and slower, and it's a must for anal. Lube is also a great addition to nipple stimulation. Add a dab to your fingertips before circling the areola or flicking the nipple.
A water-based lubricant like nuru gel is a great option, especially if you're planning to use toys or latex barriers.

3. Add a sex toy.
Vibrators up the ante on any sex position. Something like a vibrating cock ring or wearable clitoral vibrator work best for penetrative intercourse.

4. Try the draped lotus.
Are you on top super flexible? Rather than plopping your feet on either side of your partners hips or wrapping them full-around their back, tap into your hamstring mobility and drape them over your partner's shoulders like knapsack straps.
This adjustment will alter the angle of penetration so that if the person on top has a vagina, their G-spot will be more likely to be targeted, aka squirting orgasm.
Draped lotus is also a great option for intermediate and advanced anal sex havers who are craving deep anal penetration and eye contact.

5. Reverse it.
No doubt, between all that eye-gazing and chakras alignment, the lotus position is intimate. Like, really intimate. So if it's starting to feel too intimate (no judgment!), tap into your inner Missy Elliot and flip it and reverse it.
Reverse Rider fans will recognize this iteration. It's basically just a reverse Rider, but the closeness parallels that of lotus but without the eye-contact.
Another option for reduced intimacy: Place your hands behind you and lean back! This also puts your clit or cock in position for extra loving.

6. Experiment with eye-gazing. (My favorite)
If the opportunity for eye contact is why you and I are trying Lotus, I recommends trying tantric eye gazing. To do it, lock right eye to right eye, left eye to left eye, and prana breathe in sync. Eye-gazing takes us to new levels of intimacy, and you may feel the urge to look away. However it is trust of the highest order.

The bottom line.
At the end of the day, there's nothing quite as intimate as trying out a new sex position with a lover. So whether you love the lotus sex position or not, you'll both walk away feeling more connected.
Sex is an intimate and participatory act.
Posted:Jan 23, 2022 5:51 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2022 7:31 am

It is different for every person and a sensitive issue for many. It is extremely difficult to communicate about sex, even in a close, monogamous relationship. In fact, there were times in my own past where it was easier for me to be vulnerable, curious and exploratory of sexuality in my work, than in my personal life. I am grateful for having finally arrived at a place where I am comfortable with my sexuality (and self-assured enough to talk to my lover about what gives me pleasure) which makes for a more fulfilling life overall. It wasn't easy to get here.

I have now had the opportunity to speak about , burlesque, striptease and sexuality to audiences, peers and strangers globally and am still asked the same questions I was asked as a young adult. It breaks my heart every time someone asks me whether they are normal because they are still a virgin or if their vulva/penis/breasts/ass should look a certain way or if they should do something they don't really want to just because everyone else is.

I am lucky that I have an arsenal of accredited experts with many years of field experience (whether they are medical professionals, academics, adult entertainers, burlesque queens, doulas, spiritual leaders or sex workers) to consult when I need to be reassured that yes, it is all ok and I am indeed, normal.

My lifelong journey into the world of sex education is why I am able to provide resources to others who, like me, are seeking information about their own sexual wellness. There were so many times that I wished I had had a place to get answers to questions I felt too ashamed to ask my friends-- even to interact with them and ask if they were experiencing the same things I was when I felt really alone. My hope is I can empower people with knowledge toward their sexual health. After all, information (which is what we provide) is power the power to make informed decisions, to expand your sexual repertoire, to say no or yes to have better orgasms even to expand your consciousness.

First person research has always held a special place in my heart understanding the human experience through storytelling helps me better relate to the past, present and future and to connect with the complex subject of sex. Each human has a sexual identity as unique as our thumbprint. With that in mind, we all have something to contribute to the collective education around sex, health and consciousness. This first-person series aims to start telling our diverse narratives so that we can better understand ourselves and the wondrous, multifaceted nature of human sexuality.

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