Tiptoeing Through The Tulips
Just misc malarkey about my experiences here and online in general, for whatever it's worth.
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Not My Day
Posted:Jun 22, 2021 2:41 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2021 1:40 am

For several weeks now, my 'best friend' here and I have texted several times a day, and those texts have really helped me on my journey forward as a human being.

TODAY, however, he hasn't responded to FOUR texts, but HAS been online here, and as of this writing, hasn't responded to contact attempts using this venue either.

During the past month or so, we've been planning to meet at his place 50+ MILES AWAY on weekend after weekend, but for one reason or the other, our plans have fallen through at the last minute.

This Saturday was supposedly set in concrete, but the longer I'm ignored, the less I want to make the hour and a half drive to his home, only to risk rejection, or worse.

To say I'm confused, hurt, and a bit angry would be accurate right now!

If it continues, I can, and most assuredly WILL take the appropriate actions. No threat. Just fact. I've been down this road many, many times in my six decades on this earth, and have SOPs in place to deal with it.

Scorched earth. Unperson.

Life goes on. . . . .

WE2306,0440---This situation, through the magic of Communication on three fronts (mine, my wife's, and his) has been satisfactorily resolved. Sometimes all it takes is a few well-spoken words to calm a hurricane.
The Sacrifice
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 3:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2021 7:19 am

Salvation Army Camp Keystone,
somewhere in south Florida,
June, 1973'
I was fourteen.

negro boys
all much bigger than ,
grabbed from behind,
dragged behind
an wooden building,
jerked my pants down. . .
ripped my shirt off,
and ,
taking turns doing so.

There was a baseball tournament going on,
and I wasn't into sports,
so I stayed behind in the bunkhouse
to read a book
while my bunkmates played.

had watched me
walking on the balls of my feet
since I arrived
a week ago,
and came to the conclusion
that I was queer.

Queer boys
needed to be taught
to fly right
and walk like everybody else!

big black cocks
penetrated that afternoon,
while the band played religious songs
in the background
and the christian god
was busy watching the game.

There was blood on the ground,
semen in my asshole,
dirt all over my body
covering the bruises
on my arms and legs
when a counselor happened by,
saw what was going on
and came my rescue
about an hour too late.

In the end
the black boys
were sent home early,
the scene cleaned up,
I was given new clothes,
and the incident went unreported,
unrecorded anywhere,
except in my soul,
where it cannot be erased.

For decades afterward
I hated black people
with a white-hot passion,
especially negro males. . . .

I'm still not comfortable around them.

The nightmares
still continue for me,
albeit sporadically,
not as intensely as before;
I guess the human soul
can take a licking
and still keep ticking.

aside from my last wedding,
I've never set foot inside a church
since that day,
and I flip off
Salvation Army vehicles and people
whenever I run across them.

The christian god demands its sacrifices,
I get that,
but a fourteen year BOY'S INNOCENCE?

And life, as they say, goes ever onward. . . . .
Welcoming The Rain
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Jun 23, 2021 7:45 am

Breezes are blowing,
blowing clouds of water;
on my raining,
raining from the ocean!

Breezes are blowing!

----Ditty taught to by Pam, my late oldest sister when I was four.

Pamela Sue Sarasy
She was the best of us all!
Post Drive-In Sit-Rep
Posted:Jun 20, 2021 12:14 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2021 6:19 am
I heard from Elvan, my '' yesterday morning, as I normally do, and she told she was going visit in a week. Yes, she knew she'd need a motel room because our spare room is now my wife's office until further notice (covid), but she just HAD meet me SOON.

I have plans for this weekend with my Master, so I texted her back, and we both agreed that sometime in early August would be better for concerned.

I'm also texting a beautiful, sophisticated Woman closer my age whom I met this site, and although she's a business trip overseas for a week, she, too, reached out to this evening. Much my surprise/delight, but we were just starting the first feature (of two) at the Wellfleet Drive In theater, so she agreed text today in a few hours.

She lives fairly close by and has indicated a desire to meet when she returns from her trip next week.

I don't know if I'm falling in love with her at this point, mainly because I have a few residual doubts (nothing concrete), bit I'm definitely deeply in LUST with her, and yes, I CARE quite a bit about her, even so.

My meeting with Master had to be put off a week, so we're both looking forward, very much, to FINALLY connecting this coming weekend at His place. Hopefully third time's the charm!

There's an Ambassador from this site who has apparently taken at least a passing interest in me, due mainly to my newness here, I suppose, and I really like her messages.

My friend Joy too, reaches out to me more or less daily. I keep up with her blogs religiously.

A woman my own age from a small town in Oklahoma corresponds with me here. We seem to have a bit in common, but she's very much the battle-scarred Survivor and is quite hesitant to really share any deep feelings as of yet. I do, however, have hopes for that changing in the future. . .

If anybody wonders, I AM bisexual, and do welcome contact from Men, but those dick pics gross me out, so I don't dare list myself as seeking other Men officially, as a direct result of the plethora of those profile pictures on this site, as well as the apparent desperation of their owners.

More later as the Motivation hits me.

Life goes on. . . . . .
1 comment
Married Life
Posted:Jun 19, 2021 5:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2021 11:40 pm

Late at night
I'm laying in bed,
naked and aroused
when She comes
and plops down beside me.....

I reach for her,
she pulls back,
because she's had a long day,
and has get up early,
so another time,

That time never comes.

's porn,
cocoa butter
and my right hand
for me,
years at a stretch
because I'm a good husband. . . .

The time passes,
her chubby body
starts fall apart;
the knees go out,
then a prolapse
that never gets repaired.

She can't perform anymore.

She promises lose weight,
finally use the stationary bike
she had have
so long ago,
but. . . .
the bike sits,
gathering dust
forgotten in our living room
except by the cat,
uses the seat as a scratching post.

Then 's the drive-in
where she has be
every weekend
in the summer,
whenever 'decent movies' are playing. . .
's dark,
crowded with Rude People,
after four hours
the car seat
sticks my ass,
and getting home
at two in the morning. . . .

Well, sucks swampwater.

Do this,
do that,
and make damned sure
's done

Use the CPAP machine
that makes my face sweat,
the hearing aids
that hurt my ears
and constantly malfunction
I'm not telling you what do,
just want the best for you!

;Make a mistake,
however small,
and I'll hear about
for endless eons,
but god loves you
and forgives all your sins.

You get the jist.

I love my wife]
most of the time,
but damnit,
I NEED intimacy;
hold a soft body close,
kiss and BE kissed
then spend the night
making love
as if 's no tomorrow.

Porn and cocoa butter have gotten OLD!

"She has a pair of hips,
big as a battleship!
I'll buy her anything
to keep her in style!'

So be .
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 1:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 9:26 pm
I'm hungry
feed me
i'm thirsty
fill my dish
the litterbox smells
change it

i want play
don't mind
my claws
or teeth
all quite sharp
that i don't mind using


i'm comfy
you step over me

against your leg
because it's time
for my evening treats
so i don't bother you
at dinner

where are they
i want them

in a different place
every time
we turn around

constantly goes
into forbidden places
when we're not around
just because he CAN.

softest fur
you'll ever feel
and he never purrs
out loud
but if you look closely
at his neck
you know he IS.

four years
he's ruled our home
not by intimidation
but because
it's his duty
as a feline!


I'd have it no other way!
The Encounter
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 6:10 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 1:28 pm
After a long drive
I finally arrive at His home. . . . .
nervously I enter the building,
ride the elevator to His floor,
find His apartment,
on the door,
backpack in my other hand.

He answers,
more handsome than I'd imagined,
motions me inside,
closes the door.

I put the backpack down,
take out a black leather Collar
and leash,
then hand to Him
as I slowly disrobe,
to my knees at His feet,
head bowed.

"Good Bitch!"
He fastens the Collar
around my neck,
takes the leash,
pulls it taught,
and guides my face
to His enormous cock,
throbbing. . . .

I serve Him
as best as I can,
but this is my first time
with a Man,
so I'm very nervous,
but He moans with pleasure,
pulls me to my feet,
wraps HIs strong arms
around me,
kisses me passionately;
I respond in kind.

He disengages,
takes the leash,
leads me to His bed,
and has His way with me,
His Bitch. . .
His Lover. . .
His Best Friend,
until we both climax.

Fantasy finally fulfilled!
What I'm Capable Of, Part One
Posted:Jun 18, 2021 3:36 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 5:46 am

A couple of my have trouble getting into and out of my van, so I asked for a stepstool from my supervisors, who told me it might be two weeks before I got one IF The Powers That Be approved it at all, so I went onto Amazon, found a folding one that would support 300+ pounds and ordered it. In two days it was here. This morning, although I'd already called in sick, I got dressed, picked up the stool, and brought it to my van so that those two would have access to it ASAP. That's me all over.

Master and I FINALLY spoke on the phone last night! It was fantastic hearing His voice, and He apparently enjoyed hearing mine. Still glowing from that exchange!

No brag, just fact.

Life goes on.
My Joan of Arc
Posted:Jun 17, 2021 10:47 am
Last Updated:Jun 18, 2021 12:53 am

She knew I was down recently, although we live on opposite parts of the country, so not that long ago, she sent me a long that just about blew me away, then insisted on calling me to make sure I understood how very much she really cares.

She's from another country, has parents still living, but she asked me to please consider her my , and so I have cautiously started to do.

I love this young woman, not sexually or romantically, but how I imagine a proud and doting parent must their eldest offspring.

It may be, for now, just texting, but she's quite successful, and insists that one day soon she'll be visiting my wife and I in person. I can't wait.

I didn't meet her on this site, and perhaps it's gauche of me to brag about her in this forum, but on a day when things really don't look so great, she came to my rescue, and for that I shall praise her to the heavens.

I don't care about many people, having been badly scarred by too many of my fellow humans, but every now and then I do run into one or two that more than make up for the rest!

My '' Elvan, is at the top of that very short list, as is my best friend/Master!

Life goes on. .. .
The Cone of Silence
Posted:Jun 17, 2021 3:24 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2021 6:40 am

I Isolated.
Nobody near
or even far away.

I'm on my own today,
and don't know why. . . .
1 comment
My Continuing EIF
Posted:Jun 16, 2021 10:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 17, 2021 2:40 am

EIF stands for Exercise In Futility. This is just a term I coined on my own, and in this case, it fits very well.

You see, since I arrived on Cape Cod in May of 20 my wife's been after me to find friends locally, instead of online from all over the place, to spend time with. and I've TRIED, HARD to do just that because being alone for long hours when she's working or socializing or whatever isn't my idea of fun.

I've tried Craigslist, local venues including one church that had better not have a name, etc., with no luck.

At work now, I've finally made a friend in a co-worker. Thank God.

When I stumbled onto this site (advertised extensively on my favorite porn venue) a month ago, I thought I might FINALLY connect with local people.

I have connected with good people from all over, and a few Cape Codders have reached out to me, but they never work out, it seems.

I've found Cape Codders, AND Summer People in general (not all of them, so don't get me wrong) to be very unpleasant toward Different Folk or people they consider beneath them socially. Unfortunately that seems to include ME.

I'm not bitching here. The friends I've made here are all aces, and I'm deeply thankful for them, all of them!

I just sometimes wish to hell I could find a LOCAL FWB or just plain friend someday without the restrictions I currently suffer with.

Life goes on.
1 comment
Echoes From The Hole
Posted:Jun 15, 2021 8:06 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2021 2:18 pm
My day didn't start out well at all. . . .and the morning kinda went downhill from THERE.

Rain, fog, gusty winds all set the stage for a suck-event here.

My thing upon rising and heading downstairs is to a few people to wish them a nice day, start my day off on a positive note.

Well, recently I was 'asked' to invest $600 in a so-called friend's higher education, and, being a Nice Guy/Knight Errant, I told her I'd look into the possibility of taking out a personal loan, which she'd be responsible for paying. . .but NO this was going to be a gift on MY part! I then informed that erstwhile amiga there was no way I was going to pay that much for the higher education for a person who was, basically, just words on a screen with the very rare picture.

No word since, and contact attempts were rebuffed.

ANY 'friendship' you have to BUY isn't worthwhile, is it?

On the other hand, there's a Man close to my age, living a bit over an hour away by car, who chats with me constantly every day, gives me emotional/moral support, and whom I will be visiting this weekend.

He's not asked for a penny from me, but I'm bringing him a special gift which I know he can actually USE, when we spend Saturday together. I'm spending the night, and leaving for home early Sunday morning to beat the horrendous traffic heading onto Cape Cod this time of year.

If this works out the way we both HOPE it will, there will be a LOT of get togethers, to include my wife (she knows about him) sometimes as our relationship grows.

His name isn't important. He reads my blogs religiously, and will certainly recognize whom I'm talking about.

For the first time in my LIFE, I'm loving another Man!!!!!

Scary, but it's just Time.

We BOTH understand this, I fervently believe.

At work, we're NOT supposed to help our into or out of our vans, but most of we drivers do this because the staff and the houseparents of these people don't seem to want to do their jobs, most especially when the weather conditions aren't pristine.

Today, I was assisting one of my who has great difficulty getting into and out of my van, with the staff standing there watching, not fifty feet away. Apparently word of my hearing loss has gotten around at work because I heard a couple of them muttering that they thought I was a Nice Guy and I'd always do their work in addition to my own!

I heard every freaking WORD of this exchange, so, when D was safely unloaded, I slammed the doors, got into Buff (my van; I name everything!), and LOUDLY played Johnny Paycheck's anthem; 'TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!' on my phone as I drove a short distance away to do paperwork, and park said vehicle before heading home. This song was accompanied by the One-Finger Salute directed right at those REMFs.

REMFs are 'Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers' a term from my seventeen years in the military I use to describe the staff at our center, along with anybody ELSE who stands there while the Workers do their tasks.

Anyway, the rain's stopped here, hopefully for the day, the sun's doing its level best to make an appearance, and life seems fairly decent again.

Bad days tend to work like that, IMHO.

And Life rolls ever onward!
Of Unstable Office Chairs.
Posted:Jun 14, 2021 1:45 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2021 4:35 pm
The chair I sit on while typing these posts is one I got from Amazon not six months ago, rated at over three hundred pounds supported weight. I'm 285, and slowly losing weight as my diet improves while my activity level gradually increases, so I thought that this $85 office chair (assembly required, no biggie) would LAST.

For a long time it's been creaking and moaning rather loudly, especially when moved around the floor. My wife kept telling me to fix it, and I tried, but everything on it was still tight, so there wasn't a lot I could do about it.

Now the seat is tilting uncontrollably, so I went onto eBay, found a sturdy-looking office chair rated at over 400 pounds, and, using the last of my PayPal Credit line, put it on order. It's due in a week.

In the meantime, my ass feels like it's balancing on an exercise ball, and my legs are bracing against the floor, trying to prevent my being dumped out of said chair onto the very hard ground.

Not fun.


Life rolls on. . . .

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Not My Day (2)nsnguystill
Jun 23, 2021 4:04 am
The Sacrifice (2)author51
Jun 21, 2021 11:25 pm
Post Drive-In Sit-Rep (1)author51
Jun 20, 2021 3:02 am
Married Life (3)author51
Jun 19, 2021 10:47 pm
Pussywhipped (2)Tmptrzz
Jun 19, 2021 12:14 pm
What I'm Capable Of, Part One (2)jajo696
Jun 18, 2021 5:56 pm
The Encounter (2)Paulxx001
Jun 18, 2021 8:19 am
My Joan of Arc (3)author51
Jun 17, 2021 11:39 pm
The Cone of Silence (1)author51
Jun 17, 2021 4:41 am
My Continuing EIF (1)author51
Jun 16, 2021 11:27 pm
Echoes From The Hole (4)HAMONMAN
Jun 15, 2021 7:19 pm