Annual Dating Profile of the Week  

New2Midlo 52M  
714 posts
12/31/2021 8:39 am

Last Read:
1/5/2022 11:36 am

Annual Dating Profile of the Week


Unfucked text in comments.

I haven't done one of these in a while, mostly because I haven't been frequenting dating sites. Once I began doing so, it didn't take long to encounter an example of my favorite variety of profile, the 'I'm going to lay out my lengthy list of criteria, but offer little to nothing about myself'. I really need a shorter, catchier moniker for that.

This particular profile had all the hallmarks of one of these. In all fairness, she had a paragraph sharing her own traits, but it was full of pablum, such as 'I love to laugh'. Personally, I read her profile and thought this chick needed to get laid and that she's gotta be horrible in the sack.

Enjoy....

About you...

-Your profile pictures are actually pictures of YOU and are WITHOUT sunglasses. If your only pictures on your profile are of you in sunglasses, my question to you is, "What are you trying to hide?"

-Your pictures are clear and not of a fish, a recent kill, a pet, a car, a motorcycle, a nature scene, a sleeve tattoo, or a group of people where I have to play, "Guess which one is YOU".

- have actually given your profile blurb some thought. If you aren't willing to share upfront, you most likely will not be in a relationship either, so just saying put some effort into it.

-You are NOT a smoker of any kind (cigarette, cigar, pipe, other). Yuck!

-You have a career and stable finances.

-You have a good sense of humor, but not the crude kind.

-You have good relationship with all of your family and friends.

-You understand the value of a conversation over texting and prefer to have an honest phone or face to face conversation sooner rather than later. I am not looking for a 'pen-pal' so if texting is your thing... well, we will not align.

-You care about your appearance and are relatively fit and healthy. I don't expect you to be a gym-rat.. I am just looking for someone who understands that a healthy diet and exercise keeps you alive... Especially after a certain age..

Furthermore..

-You have been DIVORCED(not just separated) for MORE than a year. If you have to ask why then you are NOT really ready to date. Seriously..

If you feel you can keep up with the flow of direct, open, honest and sometimes snarky, sarcastic conversation, send me a note... Otherwise, happy searching...


New2Midlo 52M  
1075 posts
12/31/2021 8:39 am

I haven't done one of these in a while, mostly because I haven't been frequenting dating sites. Once I began doing so, it didn't take long to encounter an example of my favorite variety of profile, the 'I'm going to lay out my lengthy list of criteria, but offer little to nothing about myself'. I really need a shorter, catchier moniker for that.

This particular profile had all the hallmarks of one of these. In all fairness, she had a paragraph sharing her own traits, but it was full of pablum, such as 'I love to laugh'. Personally, I read her profile and thought this chick needed to get laid and that she's gotta be horrible in the sack.

Enjoy....

About you...

-Your profile pictures are actually pictures of YOU and are WITHOUT sunglasses. If your only pictures on your profile are of you in sunglasses, my question to you is, "What are you trying to hide?"

-Your pictures are clear and not of a fish, a recent kill, a pet, a car, a motorcycle, a nature scene, a sleeve tattoo, or a group of people where I have to play, "Guess which one is YOU".

- have actually given your profile blurb some thought. If you aren't willing to share upfront, you most likely will not be in a relationship either, so just saying put some effort into it.

-You are NOT a smoker of any kind (cigarette, cigar, pipe, other). Yuck!

-You have a career and stable finances.

-You have a good sense of humor, but not the crude kind.

-You have good relationship with all of your family and friends.

-You understand the value of a conversation over texting and prefer to have an honest phone or face to face conversation sooner rather than later. I am not looking for a 'pen-pal' so if texting is your thing... well, we will not align.

-You care about your appearance and are relatively fit and healthy. I don't expect you to be a gym-rat.. I am just looking for someone who understands that a healthy diet and exercise keeps you alive... Especially after a certain age..

Furthermore..

-You have been DIVORCED(not just separated) for MORE than a year. If you have to ask why then you are NOT really ready to date. Seriously..

If you feel you can keep up with the flow of direct, open, honest and sometimes snarky, sarcastic conversation, send me a note... Otherwise, happy searching...


HAMONMAN 62M
13129 posts
12/31/2021 2:26 pm



Sounds like she's looking for Tom Hanks

Tom is married . . so . . may his stunt double or standin is available.


HAMONMAN 62M
13129 posts
12/31/2021 2:26 pm


I'm guessing she's God's gift to men ?


DeInSLC 58F  
84 posts
12/31/2021 3:47 pm

That's quite the extensive list of requirements, traits, habits, etc., for a potential partner to meet and/or exceed. I wish her luck in finding this partner.

On another note, thank you for sending me to google to find the definition of the word "pablum". I love learning new words.


Jules1590 54F
8151 posts
12/31/2021 3:54 pm

Mmmmm.... full of pablum eh? Well, the piece that you shared definitely lacked any pablum, in fact it was well articulated from someone who knew what she definitely did not want and even included a "furthermore." yikes.

I have always struggled with this type of profile with the "lengthy (and critical) criteria" as well.
I feel badly for the women who write from this absolutely exhausted and somewhat negative perspective. What drove them to it...? I'm sure quite a bit.

Happy New Year!


positively4you 72F  
4605 posts
1/1/2022 7:10 am

“Snarky sarcastic conversation”. …..doesnt she sound like a peach?


secret_lade 48F
9227 posts
1/4/2022 11:03 pm

I wonder how successful this profile is for her. At least she's honest, though... You have to give her that. I read this and I see a woman who has had some bad experiences.


Become a member to create a blog