Fun with a normal white guy...
Sharing experiences in the world of debauchery.
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A Bit More Eye Shadow....No, The Pink One
Posted:Jul 2, 2021 1:38 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:48 am
As mentioned in my last post, I was headed to Ulta (it was closer than Sephora) in search of guidance and product that would prevent me from looking like a professional, Type A cadaver during my video interviews. My dear readers, it was a life changing experience. The artist who assisted me was the best! and opened my eyes to a whole new me, better. I know spending hundred dollars sounds like an excessive to spend, but I FABULOUS and feel beautiful! In accordance with the new , I prefer to be referred to as Mona, going forward. My after picture is .

Okay, I did go to Ulta and was assisted by a very understanding team member, who knew just how much information I wanted to be regaled with. I think her first indication came with my response to whether I wanted liquid or powder, which was 'beats the hell of ; what's easier?' She hooked up with a powder foundation that matched my skin, but with a bit of color, and a budget level brush. She also explained how to apply the product.

I just got done with a dry run and have confirmed that a man, binary and lacking nuance times. I really did like I'd just completed the first step in becoming Mona. This will take a bit of playing around to achieve my goal without looking like a pale guy, with a shit ton of makeup on his .

What other guy shares this kind of shit and not isn't embarrassed by it, but embraces the fucking weirdness???
The Troll - Ban or Keep? (Update - Ban His Ass)
Posted:Jul 1, 2021 5:33 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2021 10:39 am

Other bloggers will know who I'm talking about, when I refer to incoherent, unbalanced, and belligerent asshat that recently reared his ugly head, while wearing oh so cooool sunglasses.

And it's those other bloggers who I'm asking, do we as a community, ban him like a dress on prom night or keep him around for cheap cannon fodder? Perhaps have a prize at the end of the week for best response to him.

What say you, my esteemed fellow bloggers?

Update - I was reading some of his comments on other blogs and he's spouting full on hate speech.

Shit and Drag Queens
Posted:Jul 1, 2021 5:23 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:48 am

It's been quite the week, filled with all sorts of things impacting my dull life. I didn't feel as though any of these topics deserved their own entry, so here's the omnibus update. Buckle up, buttercup.

The job interviewing process has become manic, with what should have been five interviews this past week (I feel like one of the popular girls!). Most companies aren't bothering with phone interviews anymore, preferring to go right to video calls for first and second rounds. I've worn the same dress shirt for at least four interviews, at this point. I'm only wearing it for an hour at a time, so it's not as though it gets dirty or wrinkled. It goes without saying I also wear shorts for these interviews.

I'd be lying if I said I miss in person interviews. For those who've never been on one in another city, it's not much fun. Get up at O Dark Thirty, rush to the airport, pray flights are on time, arrive at destination, rent car, head to interview, try to push the stress and fatigue out of your system and appear vibrant and on the ball for an hour. Rush to catch your return flight, land at midnight. Try to remember what you said on your interview. My favorite one of these was when I flew to Chicago in front of a heavy snow storm. Flights were being cancelled all over the place. I wound up flying into Baltimore, staying the night, then driving to Richmond in the storm.

Next up is something that if it was a dessert, would be called Masochist's Delight.

Changing the furnace filter required a trip down a hallway I never visit and during that exercise, I discovered that my does have some separation anxiety, illustrated by the half dozen piles of what was loose shit. By the time I discovered the little brown piles of joy, they were becoming fossilized and approaching diamond hardness. I'll spare you the details of the required cleanup effort, but it probably goes without saying a good time was not had by all.

My clothes washer decided to demonstrate its ability to sustain water flow and flooded my laundry room. It demonstrated its displeasure with my ceasing that activity by not working since. I'm fairly sure it's the water pressure / level sensor and have a replacement arriving next week. In the meantime, I'm reprising my college student role, by taking laundry to my parents.

The battery on the Caddy SUV I appropriated from my parents has passed into the great lead acid beyond and from what I've read on the internet, there's a fifty fifty chance a trip to the dealer will be required for a memory re-flash. Yet another reason I'll never buy American again.

On the positive side, I quit smoking a week ago and haven't killed anyone (yet). Yes, I'm an intelligent individual and yes, I know it's bad for me, but it was one of the few things that gave me a modicum of pleasure. Ultimately, I had to face the fact that I wasn't thirty anymore and couldn't grab a smoke, then jump into a vigorous workout. It was finally catching up to me and I found myself lacking energy and occasionally becoming winded when I shouldn't have. Since quitting, my workouts have been infinitely more productive and I'm quickly losing the weight I gained during the parental Florida incident. Stress, ice cream, and no place to work out will pack on the pounds.

I'll finish with something scandalous. Tomorrow, I'm going to Sephora and buying makeup for myself. No, I'm not joining a drag queen show, even though I have the time. For the aforementioned video interviews, I've set the stage quite well, I think. I've got the right stuff in the background and an inexpensive set of photo studio lights to help minimize the effects of aging. Unfortunately, I have a very fair complexion and the lights wash me out and make me look like a member of the undead. I'd read that a large number of men were using makeup to optimize their appearance on video conferences and it seems I'll be one of them.

What do you think? Vanity, craziness, or solid marketing?
Staying in KC - The Best Option?
Posted:Jun 22, 2021 8:43 am
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:48 am

We'll wait a minute or so for my regular readers to pick themselves up off the ground after reading the title...

As I await what I hope will be a solid job offer to arrive this week, I decided to be proactive and explore living options. I checked out both the shit PA city, where my new office would be located (I grew up there, so I know it's shit) and home (Richmond, VA). Because I would want to relocate to Richmond, regardless, I would only lease a house in PA. Richmond could be a lease or potentially a purchase out of the gate. Long story short, the housing situation is fucked, which I somewhat expected, considering the boom that's going on at the moment.

Because of said boom, I've ruled out buying a home in either location. It would piss me off to spend a bunch of money on a house, only to see it lose 15% of its value, once things even out again. Besides, the only things on the market are overpriced new construction. On the rental side of things, there are literally no options that meet my criteria at any price within 45 minutes of my potential new office, in PA. At 46 minutes out, there's a 5,500+ sq ft house for rent at $3,250. Both are a bit above my threshold. Hell, I'd get lost in that place!

Richmond is slightly better, in terms of rental options, but not great. There are slightly better purchase options, but damn, if those prices haven't jumped since I last went house shopping in the area.

Much as it kills me to say, I think it's in my best interest to stay put in KC, where I've got a reasonable lease, and ride things out. This might make for a difficult conversation with my new employer, but unless they want to offer me an even beefier signing bonus, they can't force me to move somewhere there ain't a place to move into. Don't get me wrong, I'll still hate this flat hell hole, but I'll at least have a solid exit strategy.
Analyzing Statistics - Airplane Crashes
Posted:Jun 21, 2021 7:00 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:49 am

While surfing random material today, I came across the following statistic:
80% of airplane crashes occur during either the first eight minutes or the last three minutes of the flight. I would argue that 0% of crashes occur within the last seconds of the flight.
Scientists and Dating Sites
Posted:Jun 16, 2021 4:21 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2021 10:49 am

Because my life doesn't contain sufficient trauma, I continue the on again, off again, dating thing, although a lesser extent, knowing I'll be moving in the near future. In any case, I've discovered another trend I think is worth reporting on. I've only encountered this one on Pl3nty of F1sh and it's a head scratcher. Over the course of the past few weeks, I've noticed a number of women listing their occupation as cosmologist. For those who may not be clear on what a cosmologist does (I was a bit vague, myself), they're scientists that study the universe; how it formed, how it's changed, and what exists within it. What's odd is none of them have advanced degrees and all have pictures with their faces with impeccable makeup.

Yep, there are a bunch of women cosmetologists who can't even spell what they do for a living.
It's a Fucking Axolotl FFS!
Posted:Jun 11, 2021 2:36 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 11:27 am
Lately, I've been writing about some subjects that are a bit controversial. To be clear, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, just as entitled to mine. I live for spirited debate and will concede, should someone make a well reasoned counterpoint to my position.

But my last entry, which had to do with statistics on what Americans believe in, got more than its share of 'hate '. Strange, considering I didn't throw in a ton of opinion, instead regurgitating facts and statistics. Despite how much dying to turn the tables and the overly sensitive dump supporters snowflakes, that's not what I want to highlight here.

We've all seen the the 'What do you think?' on the side of each comment, allowing you to agree or disagree. Most every comment critical of our former president had at least one disagree, while those that insulted me had at least one person agree. Believe it or not, that doesn't bother me.

However, what really fucking pisses me off is that someone clicked disagree on my comment 'Axolotl can regrow the same limb up to 5 times'. How the fuck can you disagree with a well documented fact, you moron? It's a cute little thing that hasn't done anything to you. You can disagree with me all you want, but you do.not.fuck.with.the.amphibian.
Millions of People Believe The Election Was Stolen
Posted:Jun 10, 2021 1:51 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:48 am

Over the past few months, we've all heard this over and over from right wing dipshit members of Congress and state governors. The statement is invariably used as justification for increasing the security of our election process. Of course their definition is to make the process more secure from those pesky people of color and other left leaning types. The dipshits are no longer claiming the election had actually been stolen, because anyone with half a brain would vilify them for being morons and/or liars. The cry is that millions of people believe it was.

What makes my head hurt is how they're claiming action is required because millions of people believe something happened that didn't happen at all. If the election was stolen from the Cheeto Faced Shit Gibbon, why didn't the Dems steal any state legislatures and flip them? If you're defrauding the poor Liar in Chief out of his office, why not go big? Also, why don't you tell them it didn't happen, moron? You know...the truth??? Fuck you, logic and reason. But I digress.

Rather than cause my readers and myself to have an aneurism by further discussing the moronic talking points, I want to provide some context with respect to the number of people who believe the lie, versus other not real things Americans believe in. All of the numbers below are from one or more legitimate studies, based upon responses by American adults. Let's see if there are any other misconceptions that require a more urgent response.

Our baseline: 30-50 million Republicans believe the outcome of the Presidential election was due to fraud, depending on your source and day of the week.

Again, what about others who aren't that bright? We need to address their concerns in a far more urgent matter versus our baseline group.*

- 1 million people (44 percent) aren't confident vaccines don't cause autism

- 85 million (33 percent) Americans are unable to identify a right protected in the first amendment to the Constitution. A similar amount were unable to name either of the three branches of the US government. If a third of Americans don't know jack about the Constitution, how the fuck would they know if an election had been stolen?

- 65 million (25 percent) believe the sun revolves around the earth.

- 52 million (20 percent) don't know hamburgers are made from beef.

Other groups that are smaller, but more disconcerting, should be addressed as well.

- 18 million (7 percent) think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

- million (5 percent) believe a master race of interstellar lizard people secretly run the US. Offers a good rationale for not learning the Constitution, I guess.

There are a lot of Americans impacted by these various concerns, for much longer than the dumb MAGA heads have been impacted by their most recent stupidity. What about them? More people don't know that hamburgers are made from beef than believe the election was stolen! What about the ??

If you're looking for some kernel of wisdom in this entry, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. However, I will offer my own conclusion from the above data, which is Americans are fucking dumbasses who deserve to be ruled by the lizard people.

*Numbers based upon basis of 258 million adults in the US.

I so need to get laid so I can stop writing off the cuff material representing a thinly veiled 'get off my lawn'.
Attorneys, Round 2
Posted:Jun 8, 2021 9:45 am
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:48 am

Now that blogs are showing up again, I can share an update with respect my attorneys entry below. While the mean, scary letter failed to make me soil myself, still got my attention. Despite Company B's counsel uttering 'They can't do shit!', I engaged my own legal counsel on the matter. Long story short, the activities I was engaging in do not meet the legal definition of soliciting (the term used in my non-compete). Company A whacked me and I was um, helping friends at Company A with other opportunities with Company B. However, it meets the definition of soliciting if I'm employed by or otherwise being compensated by Company B. Neither of these are true.

My attorney has had a few conversations with Company B's counsel, and plans on responding to Company A's attorney with a statement of facts and informing them they can go pound sand.

With respect to going to work for a direct competitor, which the letter accused me of doing, again, they can't do shit. Never mind that judges take a dim view of companies attempting to prevent their former employees from making a living, my non-compete doesn't say I can't go work for a competitor. The verbiage pertaining to this is very specific about it applying to those left of their own volition and those were dismissed for cause. Nothing says someone was laid off can't go work for a competitor and if it ain't specifically prohibited, it's fair game.

Making me want to work even more, Company B has also committed cover my attorney's fees.

On a semi-interesting side note, I discovered the attorney from the big, scary firm that sent me the letter was a former Miss Arizona. Not every day a pageant winner sends you a threatening letter.
Error in submitting your comment
Posted:Jun 2, 2021 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Jun 9, 2021 5:26 pm

This one was denied because I hurt a programmer's feelings. Maybe they should fix it instead of denying my post. Dimwits

OMFG, this place sucks!!! I'm getting the error below, when I try respond someone's comments.

Error in submitting your comment
Your answer the captcha is incorrect, please try again.

And my answer the captcha can't be incorrect, because THERE IS NO FUCKING CAPTCHA, YOU MORONS!!!

Hire a few high school , so your website doesn't run like such a massive pile of shit.
Dating Expectations - Nebraska Edition
Posted:Jun 2, 2021 6:37 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2021 2:32 pm

Surfing through my phone, while waiting for my mother at a doctor's appointment yesterday, I found myself on the dating app that reminds you of the material you'd use to start a fire. I encountered the profile of a woman who resides in Omaha, Nebraska. She must have been in KC today, to pop up, but that's neither here nor there. Her photos were mostly of her dressed up for one event or another, with no shorts or yoga pants to be found. A few years ago, she would have made DPOW for her profile consisting solely of what she didn't want in a man, but the true reason for my taking note is what those deal breakers were. She stated emphatically that she didn't like hunting and asked what I can only assume to be the rhetorical question of why so many men posted pictures with fish they caught.

I literally chuckled out loud in the doctor's office.

I'm offering what I think is a well-reasoned rebuttal to her requirements: You wannabe socialite of the flatlands!!! You fucking live in Nebraska and take issue with outdoorsmen??? Where the fuck do you think you live, Manhattan??? Not like there's literally anything else to do in Omaha, in the first place. Fuck, half the women there have photos of fish they caught on their profiles too. If you want a trove of sophisticated and urbane gentleman, MOVE!!! Besides, the Omaha ballet has been cancelled this year because someone stole the tutu.

Now, get off of my lawn...
Posted:Jun 1, 2021 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am

Staying with the saga of trying be recruited by an awesome company and facilitating their recruitment of my former colleagues, last night was the group session between the two. It was an opportunity for the folks at my former company be properly introduced what I hope will be my next and last employer. Because of my twenty plus years in the industry, I was already familiar with this organization, but I learned more detail of their strategy, business model, etc. and I want work even more.

Returning the actual point of this entry, I have say I left feeling much fuller, for lack of a better term, than I entered the meeting. No, wasn't because of the awesome cookies in the conference room, rather from my interactions with my former colleagues. After the meeting broke up, we all hung around in little groups, catching up, gossiping, and networking with our perspective new employer. During that time, at least half of those present made a point of coming over me telling me how good was see me. What made me feel full inside was the manner in which those sentiments were conveyed. One would expect a bit of pity or solidarity, from my being unceremoniously hosed out of my job, but that wasn't it.

What I felt in those words, their tone, and accompanying body language was genuine respect. While that may not sound all that earthshattering, it meant a great deal to me to know the impact I'd had on my former colleagues. To know that I hadn't become an afterthought, now that I'm gone. If you read my entry on being a threat, you also know I'd been deprived of such validation, after being ejected from my dream job, which made last night even more meaningful.

If you want a moral or underlying , perhaps 's don't ever think your respect and admiration for someone doesn't mean something them (unless they're a narcissist).
It's All Fun & Games Until Attorneys Are Called
Posted:May 27, 2021 5:56 pm
Last Updated:Jun 12, 2021 7:49 am

This entry will only be up for a short time for reasons that will become obvious. But I wanted share the latest with my closest internet strangers/

This is for those who remember reading about my current endeavor with a potential employer and determining who may be interested in joining them from my previous employer. That entry has gone bye bye for a good reason. Apparently, I had signed a non-compete with said previous employer that they didn't bother remind of when they whacked . I'd forgotten about said agreement, because I signed it when I joined the company as a condition of employment. For the most part, non-competes are unenforceable because judges typically take a dim view of companies attempting prevent their previous employees from earning a living. So, I ignored it anyway. Well, apparently that little document included a clause about not directly or indirectly soliciting remaining employees for a period of one year.

It seems someone in the company ratted me out about my activities, which were definitely not violating the agreement, and that resulted in a nasty letter from the company's law firm being sent today. If we back up and do the context thing, I'm not employed by the, received a promise of employment, or been compensated for my recent efforts to support previous colleagues in improving their work environment.

The letter accused me of giving my supposed new employer a boatload of trade secrets and such (which they could never prove) and threatened me with legal action for doing damage to the company. They went full scare mode by noting I'd also be receiving the letter via snail and certified .

They moved on the crux of the letter, the soliciting of current employees (which I didn't do). It was stated the only way for the other company could know who had what skills and were in roles that would bring value was through an insider () providing that information. Obviously, whoever wrote this was unaware of this little known platform called LinkedIn, where people have profiles that show their companies, roles, locations, and frequently highlight skills they possess. When he contacted , the guy I was working with already had a list and had reached out everyone on it.

Ultimately, they just wanted sufficiently scare into knocking off my recent efforts. Upon receipt of the letter, I fell into immediate compliance; nothing left to do anyway.

This entry will self-destruct in hours.

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