Sensual Dreamscape
My thoughts, dreams, stories and just general day to day .
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Feeling Yummy
Posted:Mar 4, 2021 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2021 6:13 am
As you can see from the picture, I am feeling yummy. I bought a few pieces of lingerie a few weeks back, actually for a surprise for someone. And as a treat for myself because I do love feeling sexy.

Being a plus size woman you have to fight for that delicious feeling as is. Then add in some health challenges and you can see that it would be more difficult. But I am going to enjoy every moment of my life. Not letting one day go to waste or waiting for something that may never happen.

Sometimes you have to seize life the balls to make yourself be heard and understood. I am just the woman to do that.

Enjoy, and wipe the drool off your chin. Yes they are mine and very real.

Keeping The Good
Posted:Mar 4, 2021 12:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2021 12:6 pm
Are you?

Think about . Are you the kind of person can let go of the sexual part of a relationship, or expectations of and preserve the friendship part.?

Yes may initially be hurt . You may feel slighted, deposed of. But then when you sit back and think about the person overall, hopefully you still see the reason you were ever interested in that person - the good qualities, their essence, their caring and friendship.

So preserve the friendship, you never know in years come if you might get back together. Or you might occasionally still see each other. But keep that precious friendship, because why throw that person away.

Life is a journey, a very twisty windy journey of ups and downs. is all about how you choose experience and at life, people, interactions.

I choose keep my friends, the one I have shared so much with and vice versa.

Finding Your Happy
Posted:Mar 3, 2021 4:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2021 9:12 am
Well, I am determined to turn this day around from being sheer hell, to being a good one.

It started out on a sour note for me. My husband had a doctor appointment and was in charge of setting the alarm. You guessed it. He slept thru it and woke up a hour later then he needed to. This would still be okay for most folks but it does take him alot longer to shower, dress, etc because of his disability.

We barely made it out the door in time. He insisted that I go with him. I am not sure why he feels like I need to hold his hand thru a normal checkup, but whatever. I go to mine alone, but that is me.

While at the doctors office I was helping the nurse bandage his foot that is infected. I stood up too fast and almost passed out. I was afraid they were going to call the ambulance but I finally assured them after about half an hour that I was okay. But I was embarrassed because I do not like to be the center of attention.

Then my husband was in a very foul mood and took it out on me. I think he criticized just about every thing about me he could. I got so mad I started crying, which I hate. I reminded him that I am all he has so he might want to rethink how he is being toward me. I hate it when he takes his frustrations out on me.

But I put on music, listening right now with my headphones. I am going to my happy place. And I know there many good qualities about me, and well my dogs love me - lol.

And I got a new toy in the mail today. This is supposed to suck your clit! Excited to see how it works.....................

How was your day dears?

Stranger Days
Posted:Mar 3, 2021 9:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2021 9:33 am

Craziness ensues still.

Someday nothing goes smoothly.

Again I about passed out at the doctor's office. Wasn't even my appointment, but they worked very fast. Al.ost called the ambulance but I convinced them thAt I would be okay.

Still waiting at the pharmacy for 2 hours.

And I still ponder about the silence. Feeling as if I imagined the connection.

People are strange.

Soulful Reflections
Posted:Mar 2, 2021 8:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2021 11:43 am
Well hey there, fancy seeing you on here. Yes, it is true, I am just sitting here waiting for the next load of art supplies to unload. What? You don't understand what I am saying? Oh, pardon me. I am helping my husband get his room ready. See we moved to this area about 5 months ago. But we had horrible movers loading our truck in Florida and equally as bad of movers unloading. So things were thrown in mainly the two bedrooms off the living room. And we have been busy dealing with real life challenges so just now getting around to surveying all the broken things. Including some of my painting that can not be repaired. A few I can fix, but it feels like part of my soul from me.

See I am a artist, thru and thru. Everything about me screams it. No I dont dress strangely out of the house, Now in the house I will often wear whatever, because why not. But I could live in a art studio alone for years maybe. Even when I do have a gallery showing, I do not like to talk about my work, etc. I like to observe people, kind of hang back. Human nature fascinates me.

I often think about getting a large tarp, throwing paint down, and just rolling my body around and then setting it to canvas. Or having a lover who wanted us to make love with edible body paint and setting that to canvas. Can you imagine the titles of those paintings?

Which brings me to my next pondering. I know I am a intense person, always wanting to learn new things, does that make men insecure? I want to hear about your work, or interests. I like to talk about different aspects, because I think the overall essence of a person is important. You are always more then a fuck to me.

Who knows, does it really matter in the long run.?

Onward to unload another cart of awesome art supplies. There you are my lovelies, I need to dive head first into some artwork, soothing my wounded soul.

At Peace With Yourself
Posted:Mar 1, 2021 5:50 pm
Last Updated:Mar 3, 2021 9:26 am
I do firmly believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason. Like the saying goes, some stay for a short bit, and some stay for a very long time. Everyone is a beautiful entity for the most part, or at least part of the memories were. You learn cherished lessons and wisdom at the very least. And hopefully they don't break your heart too badly.

These days I take alot of stock in the people I surround myself with, and if they are good for me. If they are interested in me as a overall person, and we always know if a man is interested. They will make sure you know that they are, and equally if they really aren't. Often actions speak louder then words, or there lack there of. I used to think it was something I had done or not done right away. Now I do not think that.

We aren't always going to be a perfect fit for everyone we meet. Even if that first meeting goes well, perhaps the next one will not go as smoothly. They may be the type that prefers rather a anonymous encounter so the first meeting is indeed exciting for them. Often I find when asked to let you inside of what makes them tick, they are resistant. They do not want to let you that close to their heart and soul. Nothing you can do but walk away, knowing it is them and how they view their sexual and even internal well being.

Or they may not be able to handle the fact that you have real life things going on, such as health challenges. Let's it, that is not always fun. Not everyday will the person with health issues perhaps feel good. Or maybe you remind them of someone in their family or inner circle who has passed away. Again, nothing you can do about it but let them. be.

Does it hurt to have given a small part of yourself, thinking this might be a wonderful match of friendship and sexual play. Yes and No. It is a certain risk we all take, and who is to say down the road you won't come together again and this time it would be a wonderful longer relationship. That this time they would actually want to talk with you, share, let you see more of their soul. Or perhaps they will just be a fond memory.

Bottom line it that often people treat you how you allow them to, to a point. If you let them walk all over you, treat you like you are merely to be summoned when convenient, then they will. But if you demand to be treated with dignity, respect, and at the very least care - they either will or will no longer be a part of your life.

I know that I for one do not have the time or energy for head games. Do you?

Uniquely Me
Posted:Feb 28, 2021 3:22 pm
Last Updated:Mar 1, 2021 9:07 am
So I am sitting here listening Otis Redding , letting my mild irritation fade away. Knowing I can not let myself get riled up I had a big long post almost finished and then all the d sudden it was just gone. Ugh!

But I digress, that is not why I am coming on here. I have made a few wonderful friends here on the blogs. I greatly enjoy reading your blogs, and I know you enjoy reading mine as well. I want thank some of you for reaching out and being so supportive with my current health challenges. I will say that yes I have a heart issue, as well as lung. I also have advancing kidney disease and what I haven't said is that now they are suspecting possibly cancer. so we will be seeing what the tests, possibly biopsies may show. I know I do not have cancer, and if I do, I will overcome it.

But this has really shaken me my core, wasn't expecting any of this except the kidney disease. I thought as long as I controlled my diabetes, all would be fine. It does make you take stock in your life, those you allow in it. How you will allow yourself to be treated, and that you matter too. I do matter too, and I deserve to be treated with dignity, respect and care.

We are all here on this earth really a very fleeting amount of time. I can not ever complain about what happens because look at how many I have already survived. They have told numerous times that I wouldn't survive this or that, ,and yet here I am. I will overcome, smile, dance in the moonlight yet again. And I still have a huge bucket list of things I want experience both sexual and everyday life.

I want be on a fishing boat on the ocean. I want see dolphins swimming along side of a boat. I want watch the sunset over the water in the arms of someone who really cares about me . Not just when it is convenient for them, but even when they have make a effort. I want them hold while I shed tears of being scared.

I want create some master pieces and have at least one more gallery. I want there be some pieces of my heart and soul left on canvas long after I am gone. I want write some poetry, and express myself. I also want write some 's books and illustrate them of course.

I want be made love , and then I want be ravaged. I want know that a man wanted practically consume me. That he really was into every bit of me, that he might weep a bit when I do depart this earth. I want to laugh, love, live to the very fullest. I want to have random dance parties. Now I cant shake it like I used to, but I still can do a sitting dance party.

I am teaching myself how to make sushi of all different kinds. That is alot of fun, and I have renewed my love of growing things. I am working on my houseplants, minus the grow lights. I have enough natural light here that they will do well. I want to design a pant stand of a crescent moon with hooks to even hang a few plants from. One that bolts to the wall so eager dogs can not knock them over. I want to garden outside. Design beautiful flowering staggered beds, so something is always growing and blooming. A vertical sea of colors, shapes, and fragrances.

I am reading alot of self esteem, self improvement books. Mind over matter, healthy eating to overcome the poisons in our bodies that are making us all so sic We as a nation are killing ourselves.

So there you have it. I am recovering and have about every specialist there is from Nephrologist, Hematologist, Endocrinologist, Cardiologist, Pulmonologist, but we will figure out the puzzle of .

Keep dancing, we only have this one life. And never beg for anyone's attention.

One Last Time
Posted:Feb 27, 2021 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2021 5:28 pm
So I am not really sure how I am feeling about things, or if I am even feeling all that sexual these days. Yes the urge is starting come back, now that my kidney infection appears be gone. But with feeling invisible, and isolated now - I so need be able get in my head and create.

As a artist, one can hyper focus on that one subject, and often forget that you need have a complete composition complete the piece. Other wise you have just that piece of fruit, perhaps in 2D instead of adding the natural shadows as they fall nd the surroundings. Making that piece harmonious, and often celebrating that captured time and space.

I have always been bad about giving too much of myself, trying so hard, too hard to [please. now faced with so much concerning my husbands health and mine as well, I find myself pulling back. If I am cared for, I need to be shown. Because none of us know how long we have to continue to even be sexual. In a instant that can all be just a memory.

I dream of having a few days away from all this stress. Some carefree (as much as that is possible for any of us) time, just enjoying the sweet side of life. I have not had that in years, a romantic dinner, being held close and swaying to the music. Being treated to a old fashioned evening of sorts, as much as health will allow because might be brief moments that I would need take a insulin shot or meds.

But oh be treated like a lady, like a beautiful desirable lady would be such a dream come true. Laid down and tenderly made love too, just the two of us. Like this moment had to last forever.

As we all age and begin to lose more and more of ourselves, we no longer feel sexy at all. I even bought a couple pieces of sexy lingerie before I was with the news of my health challenges. I have never even tried them on. I feel like why bother, was I fooling? But oh just one more time feel like I am so wanted.

Silly I know, but I can dream.

Always Display Manners Of A True Gentleman
Posted:Feb 25, 2021 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2021 3:23 pm
Being caught in a whirlwind of numerous doctors, appointments, and tests has made my head swim lately. And there is no sign of it letting yet, so I am doing what I do. I can not control anything other then myself, and my house. So I am setting make sure everything is in order, well stocked, and teaching my husband how to do simple things like do his weekly pills. He is very lost doing this but we will get there. Last time I was in the hospital it was very hard for him figure out his medicines. In the even that one of us is recovering we both need know what is going .

But I have missed you guys. Those of you that are my friends. I miss writing you, reading your comments and messages. I hope you are doing well.

It was a very full day today, but it was gorgeous out. I was outside for most of the day, getting the Vitamin D, since it is supposed rain everyday for a week starting tomorrow. It was the kind of day that you never want to see end. Even encountered a tiny snake, and huge spider and numerous other bugs.

Then it was time to bills, boy. That is something though I do not mind doing, been doing it of our marriage. I like organize, take notes etc. I just got a planner so I can keep track of the numerous appointments better too.

Lately though I am very tired. But I am getting early in the morning and putting in full days with no nap. I am still antibiotics but not in as much pain. I do some stuff and then need sit and rest for a few let my heart settle down. Another thing I have noticed is that sexually I need have my mind seduced first. That elegant dance of intriguing , making want the man. Not some just sudden raunchiness without even asking how I am, or about my day etc. Showing that you care for a little more then just what I can do for you and a place deposit your cum.

Men if the ladies are not really responding, try showing her that you are interested in all of her, not just her vagina. Try engaging her in conversation, and dont act like you know everything either. Manners count a great deal too. Treat her with kindness, care, and the rest will come naturally.

Your Needs and Abilities
Posted:Feb 20, 2021 11:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2021 5:10 pm
Please excuse my lack of bog post lately. I have been fighting some health challenges, but am starting to feel a bit better as we begin to unravel much of what is going on with my body. My body might be misbehaving but my mind and spirit is still as strong as ever.

I do intend to finish the story, just give me a week or so. One has to be in the right frame of mind to let myself dive into those water and resume our trek. But we will, I promise.

Things are going okay here, just taking it day by day. I do some crafts and working hard to get my mini studio here in my bedroom set up so I can begin to create some artwork again. I need to desperately. And since I tend to be home most of the time with my disabled spouse, it is imperative. I want to have a gallery showing. At least one more before I am too old to create. I do intend to be creating until my last breath though.

Do you find yourself perhaps making a bucket list of things you want to accomplish like I do? Go to the beach, spend a week at a beach resort, take a cruise. See waterfalls, majestic trees, the waves produced by the ocean. Seashells, leaves, pompous grass. be DPed, be made love to. Have a man be hot for you just the way you are. Feel sexy, explore things sexually that you have always wanted too.

Now envision doing all that whether or not you are physically disabled. Would your lover still want to take you to a handicap accessible beach in a power wheelchair? Would they be accepting of your limitation and still want to be with you. Or would they say that is too bad, and move to the next woman who maybe doesnt have any physical problems. But sexually and emotionally cant reach into your soul like say someone like myself can?

No one is without some problems. Whether they have time constraints, emotional blockage. Maybe they have hidden handicaps, or they just are not compatible sexually? It happens all the time, hell alot of us are married to partners who are no longer sexually compatible with us. But either the responsibility is there, or the deep love and commitment is. Obligations, finances, families all play a part in it.

Whatever it is, we are all just making the best of it. If we have made a true connection of friendship, sexual compatible, even a type of caring and love then we are blessed beyond belief.

Stay true to yourself and your needs and abilities.

1 comment
Ever Changing Life
Posted:Feb 10, 2021 10:51 am
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2021 5:18 pm

I have been keeping to myself a bit more as of late. Sometimes there is a cusp of major changes coming on in ones life. This is one of those times for me.

Soon I will be having many more medical tests, and seeing specialists. I am finally admitting that I will never be like I was even years ago. Yes accepting the grand ole aging process, and feeling blessed even about it.

What does this all mean for me? Simply that I will taking my sexual a bit slower, enjoying it more. Still very much quality over quantity. A close connection, a loving beneficial friendship. Understanding and accepting each others medical and personal limitations is paramount.

One of the things that has been so hard is facing my husbands disabilities and what must be done for him everyday alone. Being new to the state of North Carolina means no friends or family here at all. But making a few friends has helped so much. To even be able to find out how to and get installed wheelchair ramps for our home is so very needed. A support would be wonderful. Just even getting out of the house for a meal, and time away is so needed.

I think I am making headway on all this, which is such a relief for me. I need to reclaim what I can of my life. I need to get back in the art studio and establish myself here in this area. I need to express myself, throw some paint down, and do some serious pieces.

Anyway, not a sexy post, so sorry. Not everyday is one of those sexy days.

But oh yes I am still as horny as they come.....

Posted:Feb 8, 2021 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2021 6:19 pm
It stroke me today when thinking of a wonderful message that was written to me, how delicate yet delicious this dance we call life is.

Let me explain, we all as we age have things that are migrating, letting go, and misfiring in our bodies. That is if we are lucky enough to be doing the aging process. Some of us have perhas a little more pronounced or advanced things. But maybe a different way to look at it is that we are lucky. 4

In my life I have fought a great many infections since the age of 6 months old. I have been told 3 different times that I had cancer, each time they were wrong. According to the great statistics, I should not be here. But here I am loud and proud. Having fought alot of different health issues has caused bme to slow down, smell and enjoy the flowers. To observe life in all forms more, to which I am grateful.

1also since health care alot even out of pocket after insurance is downe, I have learned the value of a dollar and how to make it holler. It marvels and baffles me at the same time, how much people waste. How much time they spend making the almighty dollar to then throw it away. I am very frugal, always will me.

But I am not nearly done with this dance called life, never count anyone out who is disabled. I might have trouble walking because of my heart condition, but I can still tear it up in the bedroom. Once those lights are down and we begin, if we are clicking, lord hang on. I love me some sood soulful loving. A man who is really into you, and just how your body is. See I know my body isnt all that beautiful, but she is mine. I love her, and if you do too, then we are going to groove, shake, and shimmy for as long as time allows.

Dont count us out that do not look perfect or might have to do things a bit differently. You never know what hidden gem is right there underneath the surface for you to discover. Might just be your new best friend, lover, life long companion that is there for you through it all. Just asking for a little loving and caring coming from you in the most sincere way.

Look and see with eyes of caring and understanding.

1 comment
Toys, Lotions, and Potions
Posted:Feb 6, 2021 11:31 am
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2021 1:47 pm
Today seems to be a day my husband will probably be sleeping, some days are just like that now. So here in a few minutes I will go to work on unpacking some more. I can hardly wait to have my studio space set up. I need to be able to create.
Putting on those headphones and slinging paint is my happy place. If I can paint outside is just heaven.

So anyway I am thinking about these rechargeable toys. Bullets and vibrators. I do love them, but they give no indication when they are about to go dead. I can be right on that delicious cusp of having a orgasm and all the sudden the little bugger dies. Now that is not a cool sensation because my clit is tingling and now I either have to hunt for another vibrator or use my fingers.

I have a plug in Hitachi wand, but the head of it is so big. Hard for me to use by myself. I have several toys that I have lost the charger for , but I do have a multi connection charger that hopefully one of those will fir and I can once again charge them up. One is for anal pleasure, the other is a smaller version of the wand but is usb rechargeable.

I also prefer to use condoms on my toys, especially if I am also using on my lover. just keeps everything cleaner and faster to sanitize before the next use. Yes I do thoroughly clean my toys after each use. wants pull out their favorite toy to find that you have clean and sanitize before having any fun.

You need clean everything well, prevent any kind of infections. In today's world I think we all are wanting to ensure our safety. I also prefer to use gloves if placing my fingers inside anyone. Why? Because we ladies usually have at least some kind of fingernails, and is so easy accidentally cut someone. That is the worst feeling in the world. So I put a glove one, and then isn't that risk.

I like keep baby wipes handy for quick clean up. Especially if you are going for another round of fun after you both rest. Just nice have around, and if you can find a pack of sanitizing wipes, those are very nice have clean toys with after you remove the condom.

And always carry your own condoms ladies, so if you are doing safe sex, is never a excuse. You have either ensure you both are tested clean and not playing with anyone else, or condoms.

Also carry lube, always ladies. Bring your own lube. If you are like me though even after thoroughly cleaning yourself which does include cleaning and prepping if you are going enjoy in any kind of anal , a bit of flavored lube is nice. That way you know you are tasting very good down . just helps relieve my worry about if I taste good.

They also do make edible massage oil, lotions, dusting powders and used be body spray although is hard find. I loved that because I could spray all over my body and did not taste awful like perfumes do. I want leave a good taste in my lovers mouth, have them craving for more.

Just a few things I like have in my kit.

What about you?


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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Feeling Yummy (19)Apollo602021
Mar 5, 2021 8:55 am
Keeping The Good (3)Needsomekisses60
Mar 5, 2021 5:58 am
The Building Hunger (1)yoiswet
Mar 4, 2021 3:43 pm
Soulful Reflections (4)goblin0707
Mar 3, 2021 11:19 pm
Finding Your Happy (4)CleavageFan4U
Mar 3, 2021 7:16 pm
Savory Dance Part 2 (4)69ereatwetpussy
Mar 3, 2021 6:48 pm
At Peace With Yourself (5)Granny872
Mar 2, 2021 1:38 am
Uniquely Me (3)lickeyzsplit
Mar 1, 2021 6:07 am
One Last Time (4)Sakwes77
Feb 27, 2021 4:07 pm
Always Display Manners Of A True Gentleman (3)NJGUY08090
Feb 27, 2021 2:25 pm
Your Needs and Abilities (1)treetoplover007
Feb 25, 2021 4:12 pm