Advice for Getting Over The Edge?  

Desires_Unleashe 39M
13 posts
8/24/2021 9:20 pm
Advice for Getting Over The Edge?

My lover has a very difficult time getting over the edge during sex and fooling around. She will get on the verge of climax, and be stuck there. Often ending in frustration. Rarely, she does orgasm, and it is epic. She does get over the edge during oral, but even then it typically takes her a long time.

The interesting thing is that she can totally get there in half a minute or a few minutes if she is on her own. For example, if she is using toys and is alone, she will orgasm very quickly. But if it is the same toy but I am in the room, then she might not get there at all. Being in the presence of someone else seems to put her off somehow. Not that she is not aroused; she is excited and lubricated and eager and having a good time, but something is preventing her from getting over the edge.

I would love some advice that I could convey to her that would help her get over the edge and enjoy sex and fooling around together.

I start with oral sex to make sure she gets off some how to start with. She enjoys the penetration, and seems to be brought to the edge that way. Alternatively with me stimulating her g-spot with my fingers. But the only time she has ever orgasmed from sex are the rare times she is doing it cowgirl, and that is after a great deal of effort and time. I am convinced this is a mental block. I want to help her get past that block.

I am doubtful at this time that there is some sort of magic physical bullet for this problem at this time.

author51 59F  
130010 posts
8/25/2021 10:46 pm

I can relate to this as I rarely have an orgasm and wish I had advice myself as I have tried everything. The only time I do orgasm is while self pleasuring myself. Fingers and tongue of a skilled lover can bring me to orgasm on ocassion but not always. I have yet to go over the edge during penetration..As long as she is enjoying it all without going over the brink is what is important..

spunkycumfun 62M/67F  
41171 posts
8/28/2021 12:00 pm

Sometimes the desire of trying to get someone to have an orgasm becomes pressure for both parties and can be counter-productive. I don't know the ins-and-outs of your relationship but talking honestly and non-judgmentally often helps!

Desires_Unleashe 39M
6 posts
8/30/2021 10:57 am

Thank you for everyone that has chimed in, I do appreciate that.
She is 39, but she has had this issue since the start of her sexual life.

It is only so much fun to enjoy the journey before it gets old and frustrating when you never seem to arrive at your destination. She has fun during the process but ends up angry and disappointed in herself. After two decades of nearly exclusively climaxing from oral, she is not satisfied by those orgasms anymore.

Because she is able to orgasm alone easily, but struggles with a partner present, I'm determined that it is a purely mental barrier. She is aroused often and really enjoys the process, that's why she gets to that edge. Its getting over that edge that we are trying to solve.

I got some advice about deep breathing to help get caught up in the moment and clear the mind. Also about letting out all the vocalizations that might come out of her and her touching and doing whatever to herself that helps her embrace the sensations of the moment. I'm providing her with an encouraging and accepting environment already.

Become a member to create a blog