Hooct Un Foniks Wurct For Me
Just some random meanderings about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. A place where everything i do and say is right.

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When Mute Memories Start Talking
Posted:Dec 23, 2018 1:25 am
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2018 7:59 am
2:45 in the morning seems to be the best time for me to work.

Even the noisy avenue outside of my studio is silent except for an intermittent solitary car passing by.

It's quiet.

Quiet enough for those old memories to lash out and make you wince at a choice you made. You can either ruminate on it or barrel on through and keep on living with the consequences.

Regardless, this is the time that i get to paint, draw, write and get everything done without the interruptions. This is the time when drawing goes from a step by step process right into some artistic jazz where i get so lost in what I'm doing that i can't remember how i managed to get a brush stroke done without regard but exactly what needed to be there.

Anyway, this one is a work in progress for a . Posted with permission for approval.
What Do You Notice First in This Pic?
Posted:Dec 22, 2018 7:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2018 5:07 am
This hit my newsfeed on FB this morning and my first thought was..

He didn't buy her a burger.


Love the one you're with.
Nudity Among Friends
Posted:Dec 22, 2018 3:52 am
Last Updated:Jan 6, 2019 12:38 am
Can a man and a woman remain friends without getting romantically involved?

I don't know.
Failure to Launch
Posted:Dec 21, 2018 5:34 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2018 6:10 am

Yesterday, i wrote a post about a conversation that i had with a fellow artist and his intolerance for a joke made about the show, BJ and the Bear. I only shared the story here because during our debate, i wrote a punchline.

BJ and/or The Bear are the peanut butter and chocolate in Ted Cruz's Porn Hubb search history.

But the joke is that, there is no joke with out the context.

The story connected to this was also pretty flat. Just another guy and his inability to acknowledge that there are gay people out there and they are not boogey men just waiting to bite you and turn you into a gay vampire. How does a gay man upsell you on the notion unless there is already some interest involved at the ego/id level?


The punchline is supposed to be the staccato on a story that crescendos right to the end. As a writer these turn into those unbearable moments of writing things over and over to get to the desired chiseled result.

I try to work off the cuff and allow the story to evolve on its own. I just try to keep the destination in mind and telling this story just kind of felt like A + B = C.

Anyway, kiddos.

Do you ever get stumped on a story? Do you ever look back and think that you should have used the word, moist, instead of, dripping?
The Distance Between Us
Posted:Dec 19, 2018 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2019 6:56 am
I don't know why I assumed that I would never run into someone from my past here.

Last year, I was browsing around and just saw a pic of some bare legs in a tub. I sent over a quick message and lo and behold, I got a response. We chatted for a bit then called it a night. Then we chatted again and after the third time, I figured that we hit it off fairly well.

As things progressed we exchanged info and then we shared pics and revealed who we are to each other. There was something vaguely familiar about her but dismissed it. She was an attractive blonde hair, blue eyed woman the same age as I am. The set of her eyes was familiar to me but I just got back to our conversation. A day later she messaged me and asked me which High School I went to. my answer left a ten minute gap in our conversation while she went through some things and me back with a picture of me in high school from the class panoramic photo with a blonde haired girl standing over my left shoulder.

For a few minutes, looking at myself in that picture was like seeing myself in the banquet hall photo from the 1921 New Year's Eve Ball from the Overlook Hotel... I have done a lot of drugs between then and now, so I have to really try hard to recall anything from high school.

But we went to high school together and I eventually remembered her. We never did hang out in the some circles, but we were always friendly with each other.

I just thought it was a crazy journey to me back to each other 30 years later. We haven't spoken about high school since there were never any shared memories, but we have gotten to know each other as adults. We are very different people and we can both acknowledge that we are miles away from the that we were in high school.

We just haven't met for dinner yet. Something that we may explore again next week.. if our schedules permit.
Welcome to Weaponized Blogging
Posted:Dec 19, 2018 3:43 am
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2018 5:35 am

For those of you who are new to my blog. For new subscribers or just pedestrians walking by doing some window shopping.

I'm not here to use my keyboard like it's a barrel of a gun or try to be some kind of pied piper and sway your thoughts to my own cause. I do my best to respect others that leave a comment and i welcome any opinion. Just watch out for my rebuttals. Generally speaking, i am not here to spread any kind of malice on to others here.

With that said, don't think that's a sign of my own weakness.

I'm still an arrogant prick, but I've just learned to recognize that in myself and taper off the behaviour.

I KNOW that i just pissed someone off here in Pettyville.

I get it.
I understand what i did.

That was a moment of weakness on my part, and i accept full responsibility for that. I didn't wake up with the intention of writing that initial comment, and i assure you that i didn't have to ruminate for hours on what i had to say in response. I just had a problem with the fact that someone was taking repeated shots at a friend. You're either the bully or the victim, i don't believe that you can be both. So, i just kicked the house of cards a little to see what would happen.

I think it's also very important for everyone visiting that i am not looking for a repeat performance.

I understand that there was a post written about me and i haven't read it. I don't plan on reading it or responding to it and i also don't need any updates.

The fact that the other person involved in this waltz likes to go around and threaten others with the notion that she's going to write a post on them is pretty ridiculous. Not to mention that she has a distinct intolerance for others and their feelings that should give you volumes of information on what she is like in person. That's a person just desperate for you validation.

Kind of like Anne Coulter.

But welcome to my blog, perverts.
What Was He Thinking?
Posted:Dec 18, 2018 5:21 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2018 2:47 am
I was watching the news and this interview came up with Stephen Miller, the human lightbulb covered in skin.

This guy ran for president of his high school on a platform to make the minoity janitors pick up his trash faster. He stares at the camera with a steely eyed stare like Buster Keaton... or the guy sitting alone at the bar in a dark corner who won't quit staring at you while not blinking. Just sitting there.. intermittently sipping on his long island iced tea without breaking his eye contact....

..... he gives me the heebeejeebees.

Anyway, in an attempt to look a little more like Ming the Merciless, Miller dumped a can of metal shavings on top of his head and didnt even botger to feather it in at all. I'm wondering if the pile on top of his head just blew off on his way to the studio, but it's not even the same color as the rest of his hair.

If you have watched this interview, did you notice that he didn't apply any to the back of his head? The back of his head looked like a monkey's ass.

I can't look at that and wonder if Stephen Miller comes with Kung Fu grip.

Kudos to the person doing the interview for makin eye contact and not just have her eyes locked on to the top of his head. But, i say this as a man who is going to b just as bald as he is. I just have accepted this.

No shampoos guaranteed to grow my hair back. If that were the case why isn't there a streak of hair running down my back?
The Reject
Posted:Dec 18, 2018 4:32 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2018 5:45 pm
Last year, I was asked to do an art show at a fetish ball. I have attended a few of these events and I can vouch that things generally get buck wild up in those parties. I even ran into a former English teacher there and she more than.. ANYWAY!

They asked for something a little different and a little dirtier than what I have done. For some reason, they like the nude illustrations that I have done, but didn't feel like their tone was right for the show..

This isn't a bad piece, but I just didn't like the way it was going.

This morning I was going through all of the things that needed to be thrown away and this is one of them. I try not to keep the ones that I don't like for very long.
The Next Day, The Birds Were Singing Again
Posted:Dec 18, 2018 3:57 am
Last Updated:Dec 19, 2018 12:38 am

Did anything interesting happen here yesterday?

I will be the first one to tell you that, yesterday was a moment of weakness for me.

I already heard the stories about that person. I also had my own third person brush with her after i did an illustration of a REALLY dear friend. What can i say?
Ima artist and I'm sensitve about my shit.

Later that person came to my blog to compliment me on my work. I had already seen her previous negative comment, so i called her out on it. I also took the opportunity to block her just to spare myself of the back peddling and justification.

Leaving a comment on her blog yesterday was out of character for me. That is not what I'm here for and i didn't do it for the validation and approval of others. I just have a problem when there are people out there stirring up shit for my friends.
She can write about me all she wants, but i don't have to indulge her at all with a response. If i made her Tinkerbelle Syndrome kick in and now we all have to clap for her to come back then I'll take that.

I think the best thing is to just go back to masturbating to images of people that we're never going to go out and meet.
The Swear Jar
Posted:Dec 17, 2018 10:22 am
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2018 7:00 pm

I actually have people that I like to call friends here.

I'll pause for a moment while you pick your jaws off the ground.

We can't control how others react to things we say or do, With that said, some here LOVE to single people out here and then write entire blog posts dedicated to someone else's behavior. Then pretend that they're aren't the petty and vindictive ones.

That's not what this is about though.

This is all about the solution that I came up with for a friend that has been badgered by one of the geriatric high school mean girls on this site. To prevent wasting time on this person in our private conversations, I proposed to keep a swear jar, but instead of adding a dollar to a jar. We have to send one another a full frontal nude pic. No excuses.

I know how difficult it is when you have someone whispering shit to others and can't bring themselves to say anything when confronted. Our ego has to fight back, but our friends are the ones who lift us up from this negativity. I have no idea why the negative things stick in our heads, rather than the good things that good people see in you.

We just needed something to get us back on track when the ruminating started.
My Holiday Card
Posted:Dec 16, 2018 3:40 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2018 11:55 am
Well, I sent out my Holiday card to everyone and now they're pissed. I don't even understand why..
Superman or Superdud?
Posted:Dec 15, 2018 4:52 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2018 7:07 pm

I grew up with Christopher Reeve as Superman, but as a . The Superman II movie never sat well with me. There was something about Superman that wasn't right and i never understood the context until a few years ago when i watched the movie objectively.

The movie unravels for me at the end after Lois Lane has been rescued and it's the morning after she was almost killed repeatedly. But she is sitting in her office at 7:55 in the morning and has been there for hours already burning dozens of cigarettes and drinking black coffee. She's not sitting there trembling and ruminating about nearly being ripped in half by two suprbeings from space.

What she is dreading something that we ALL have gone through.

Terrible hook up sex with a co-worker.

As soon as the elevator doors open and Clark Kent walks out, she tenses and gears up for the confrontation. So, of course, he walks up totally nonchalant and she loses her shit. I have two problems with Superman's resolution. He takes her and kisses her to make her magically forget the last 24 hours.
1. When was that EVER one of Superman's powers.
2. How many times has he done that to her?

So.. what happened?

I think we have to acknowledge the fact that Lois prefers Superman over Clark Kent and is forced to spend a weekend with Clark.

Fast Forward.

Lois discovers that Clark is actually Superman. They spend the rest of the weekend out at his secluded bachelor pad. After Jor-El screams at his for bringing a chain smoking, raging alcoholic into his home, he has to give up his powers or just take her home. He opts to have his powers removed.

CLEARLY, Lois is disappointed. Especially, after having to walk from his Fortress of Solitude to some diner in upstate New York, because Clark doesn't even have a Subaru hatchback. So, after that hike, she has to watch Clark get beat up by some trucker. Not only beat up, but left in a trembling heap crying to himself.

I think this is the moment that Lois looks down at Superman/Clark for the first time and sees him for who he truly is.

What is Superman without the ability to take a gut punch?

Note: After disposing of the bad guys after getting his super powers back. Superman later returns to the diner and confronts his bully. Mind you, Superman can slap that man so hatd that his soul would have a bruise, yet he still has to go back and take out some sexual frustration. After leaving the trucker driver looking like a meatball with a couple of tufts of hair sticking out, he leaves and continues on with his super hero charade.

I only assume that Superman and Lois had sex maybe they just snuggled on his big mylar bed, but the dissapointment the next morning though is what leaves me perplexed. Superman has the ability to fly around the world so fast that he can change the orbit of the planet to go backward in time (the science is not sound, btw), but he can't find a g spot.
The OTHER Christmas Debate
Posted:Dec 14, 2018 3:04 am
Last Updated:Dec 15, 2018 3:33 am

No, I'm not going to rehash the Merry Chrtismakwannakah greeting. I'm referring to the other debate about the song, Baby it's Cold Outside.

So, is this a nice holiday song.. or just Dean Martin being a drunken Dean Martin?
Before i get raked over the coals, i agree with the side that thinks this is a guy who hasn't learned to take, no, for an immediate answer. The song, contextually, is from a different time period, but that doesn't excuse the behaviour, but i still think it's playful banter between consenting adults. Not a frat boy slipping something into her drink. At least the song doesn't end with the sound of breaking furniture and some muffled screaming. I also don't think it's an opportunity for you to wrap yourself up in your big self righteous blanket whenever it hits the radio.

With that said, i don't know how i feel about being lectured by some stranger in public about how the song objectifies her makes her feel threatened. I'm just standing in line at the grocery store trying to pay for my beef jerky and soft drink and now i have to stand with the woman who's life was altered the summer that she went to the Lilith Tour.
I just nodded along and empathized with her. I wasn't being flippant at all, but i responded with, I understand.
I had hoped that would be the bookend on the conversation, but nope. She snapped at me and her tone changed as she began to spit words out at me about how i will NEVAAAR understand what it's like to be objectified by a man and have to...

I wish i could tell you what else she said, but i just blacked out and just started thinking of my response to her.

Lady, i get incessant messages from 50+ year old assholes that will try to convince me to let them suck my dick in a dark alley, a park or to show up to some glory hole they have constructed in their back yard. When i say, no, i get a response calling ME the homo and a challenge me to a fight them in a parking lot.
She's standing in line in pajama pants at 4 in the aftetnoon, a baggy black t shirt with kittens airbrushed on it, a hairstyle and glasses straight out of 1984, buying hemorroid cream, cat food and foot cream...

Da fuq does she know about being objectified?

Which made me start thinking.

Together with this latest episode with the triggered beta male that didn't like my Meninist post. I just find myself attracting the wrong kind of attention and i think it's time for me to just get back to work writing the stuff that really matters to me.
I always, feel like this is just masturbation anyway. I write here with the idea that no one is reading this bullshit... except maybe four or five friends. When others start coming around and stinking up the place or others start inviting me to do those fucking symposiums... i mean, don't fucking yourselves. This is still an adult hook up site and I'm never going to take anything written by someone with their bare ass aimed at the camera seriously. I just lose interest in witing here. I'm not some monkey dancing to an organ grinder for your applause and validation.


Carry on.
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