Hooct Un Foniks Wurct For Me
Just some random meanderings about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. A place where everything i do and say is right.

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Gingivitis Rex
Posted:May 27, 2016 9:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:03 am

So, that's the name of the guy that has been the new thorn..

This guy has been running around talking to anyone that he thinks that cares about his gossip. Gossip that he's only repeating because he's been the fly on the wall for all of the mustache twirling villain meeting going in in the shop down the hall from us.

Now, I have written about Gingivitis Rex before, but he was only a background character in a larger story about the group of 45 year old nerds who still dress up and pretend to be master jedi and stage lightsaber tournaments...

... yeah.

So anyway, Gingivitis doesn't have a job, has no motivation to get a job and as you can probably tell by my nickname for him... takes absolutely effort in his hygeine.
He dropped out of a high school in town that has a drop out rate so high that he was still made valedictorian.
He loiters in the shop where his girlfriend works all day cause he has nothing better to do and wants to be sure other nerds don't talk to her, but he refers to her as his ex-girlfriend whenever she is mentioned in a conversation. You know, just in case something better for him comes along.

He thinks that dressing up as Kylo Ren at a comic convention is a real job that requires real qualifications.

He just moved in with this ex-girlfriend where her name is on the lease and his mother's name, but not his.
He comes from the type of family that gets into fist fights at family funerals because cousin Syphilis stole the money from the bbq chicken plate sale to bury the deceased.

All that and Gingivitis Rex thinks that he's better than everyone else.

I'm spilling this here, cause i need to release this and get back to focusing on my whole fucking zen thing.
Flipping Tables Over
Posted:May 26, 2016 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:03 am

Whenever someone tells you that they're an artist, that usually means that they typically wake up at the crack of noon every day on a couch that belongs to someone else.

I wake up at four in the morning every day and get my day started by smoking a whole bunch of medical grade weed followed by some air splits, followed by a shower. Then i get to work. Today, work, consisted of doing some graduation invites and some paintings of naked women again.

Which brings me to the subject...

A couple of weekends ago.. i did my first art show in a very long time. So, the fallout from all of this is some prudes had a problem with my subject matter and they basically fabricated a bunch of false alarms and complaints just for their little shits n giggles.

The secret to every narcissistic artist, like me, is that we have this large arrogant ego to hide the soft tender nougat center. As we speak, my ego is so large that it hasn't even finished coming in through the door yet... and I've been home for an hour now.

So deep down, my tender artistic sensibilities have been bruised by a bunch of hens who have nothing better to do than spread a bunch of vitriol.

The old me would have packed up my shit and not do another art show till i hit 65 years old.... but I'm not going to bottle this up anymore. I've told others that the only power that harsh words have on you is the gravity that you allow those words to have. So, they're like bullets off of Superman's chest right now.

Also, another artist friend of mine told me that if people aren't offended by your wotk, then you're not trying hard enough.
Older Work
Posted:May 11, 2016 11:41 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:08 am
These are the prints I'm setting up for the show. All of these are illustrations done over the last ten years.
Another Work in Progress
Posted:May 10, 2016 5:50 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2016 4:06 am
Still working on this one and this is cropped for faceyspace's high moral code. The final version will be posted here in the comments after this weekend's show.
1 comment
Work, Work, Work
Posted:May 10, 2016 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:09 am
Someone had to explain to me that this was a Rihanna song about sex.

Well, here is another work in progress.
1 comment
The Lucky Lady Art Show
Posted:May 7, 2016 11:42 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2016 12:00 am
Well, I've been working on a bunch of new stuff..

One of 37 things I've got going on is desperately trying to get ready for my first art show in over twenty years and I have had absolutely no time to work on anything.

Story of my life.

But I'm also struggling with making an appearance in front of my work again. Which is the reason I have remained out of the art scene for so long.. I hate to take responsibility for my own artwork. Part of my problem is that my work never looks the way I intended it to look.. including the image that accompanies this post.. I did it myself, but it is nothing like I imagined it to be in the first place.. that all I could manage to do correctly.

I also have a deep fear of being the center of attention.

I would rather get drunk in the back till the party and show is over. Anyway, for those of you local perverts who have the time or the curiosity to see what I can do when I have enough time to myself can come by and visit Uptown Gypsy in Wonderland Mall.
1 comment
In Other News..
Posted:Apr 24, 2016 9:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2016 12:34 pm

Suddenly, every white guy with a goatee,pair of oakley sunglassesand a large truck with a gun rack in an urban environment is angry about Andrew Jackson's replacement on the twenty dollar bill.

Next up: Millenials who can't comprehend that Prince is 33% responsible for their birth.
I Never Wanted to be Your Weekend Lover
Posted:Apr 21, 2016 6:32 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2016 8:58 pm
Good night, sweet Prince.
1 comment
I'm Just Going to Stop Reading Other Blogs Completely
Posted:Apr 10, 2016 5:55 am
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2020 4:50 pm

Sometimes, you fucking people amaze me.

The way you love to huddle up on someone who pisses you off because you don't like what they said on their blog. Well, guess what... it's their blog they can say what they want. You have to be the one reading it and gullible enough to fall for their rambling.

Some people are idiots, and some are just people who have figured out a way to get people to react to their writing. Some of you social justice warriors will take to your keyboards to expose this person for who they are, cause how dare they think that way.
This guy is pulling everyone's leg and just rattling cages cause he knows he can. Because he thinks it's funny, because he knows you're eating it up with a giant spoon that you can't even fit into your mouths.

I read a blog post this morning that was just about the perplexing notion of only sucking a straight man's dong... unless he's in direct competition with you for the same penis.... what does it fucking matter? If you don't like his views on women.. don't read that post... no matter how many other social justice warriors tell you to do so.

I might be living in the ostrich syndrome here, but I'm not wasting my time or anyone else's by slowing down to look at the accident on the side of the road and forcing everyone behind me in traffic to do so as well.
Work in Progress
Posted:Apr 7, 2016 9:33 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:12 am
As promised, just a shift in what I'm up to on this blog again. I'm not going to be typing a bunch of nonsense anymore but just scribbling in prep for a show I have coming up in June.

An art teacher once told me before I flunked out.. Paint what you like.. well, I like naked women...
A Change to the Content of My Blog
Posted:Apr 1, 2016 8:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2016 5:37 pm
I'm a glutton for punishment, but i originally started this blog to share some of my more questionable artwork. Then the chimps who work as moderators kept shutting me down and stamping my work as not suitable for this site.

So, I'll be concentrating more on making this another work-in-progress spot to show my work... at least the stuff that makes others a little red-faced.

This is one original piece I'm working on for a woman's boutique. I'm still working on the details here but this should be done before next weekend.

Let's see how long this lasts before the moderators pull it down.
Even After All of This
Posted:Mar 29, 2016 4:45 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:02 am

Yesterday, i took a day off and so did Sativa.

We both have a ton of work piling up, but we have both been anxious to see the new superhero spectacle of the month. So, we did.. a lot seems to be riding on these movies as frothing rabid fans line up in their bad fitting superhero costumes anxious to be the first to write a fucking pretentious review about how much they hated the movie.

Anyway, we saw the movie about the superheroes who punched each other for twenty minutes. That's not what this is about.

This is about Sativa and i going out on a day long date. We dropped the off at school and went to work for about ten minutes before deciding that we didn't want to be there.

We had breakfast at our favorite small restaurant and had a wildly inappropriate discussion about the right wing candidate with the developing sex scandal. Then we went out to the theater to catch the first showing.

We got out of the movie and drifted to a tourist burger diner where we had lunch and discussed the movie. We can still talk over lunch.. we can still talk over breakfast and sometimes we waste time talking to each other.

After all of this, she's still the one i have to talk to.
I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday for a Hamburger Today.
Posted:Mar 24, 2016 1:52 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2018 4:01 am

People tend to get confused with what i do for a living... cause it really looks like I'm just fooling around, but trust me... it's a full-time job. Some, not all, think that they can order a bunch of material from me with custom artwork, expect me to work without any kind of down payment, and want their work ahead of every other customer i have already and maybe... MAYBE they will pay me if they like it.

Shit doesn't work like that any where else, so why should it fly with me. I don't pick up my pen for free work anymore.. not when i have plenty of customers who are paying me already to work.

So, this guy asked me to do a whole marketing campaign for his business last week. I gave him his total which is due upon placing the order. I do this, because I've been burned already by people i trusted who made me design forms and other materials for their office only to decide that the price i had given them was too expensive. They knew about the price before i started the job and decided they didn't need the work after making me work for a week to set up the forms and documents, check the spelling, set the margins etc... all of that work was for nothing and i wasted time on them that could have been spent on paying customers.

Rather than getting frustrated about it, i expect my money up front. If they decide they don't want the material after all... they wasted their money not my time.

To link to this blog (CynicusMaximus) use [blog CynicusMaximus] in your messages.

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