5 Cons of Swinging  

Codex97471 70M
3 posts
3/9/2022 11:09 am
5 Cons of Swinging

OK, now what are some of the downsides of swinging?

1. Keeping Your Lifestyle a Secret
Granted even though some swingers like the novelty of having a secret, quite a few feel the need to keep this particular part of there life secret due to society’s view of swinging.

Whether for reasons due to family, friends, job, political, or religious beliefs, unfortunately, there are still a lot of people who confuse swinging with cheating or immorality.

Photo of threesome from Wild ThingsUnfortunately a lot of people still confuse swinging with cheating or immorality.
When we lose our capacity to embrace differences, we lose the ability to understand and see that even if it is something doesn’t work in our relationship, we shouldn’t penalize someone who believes it to be a benefit in their relationship.

When we take away someone’s right to be who they are, we miss out on all the brilliant differences and the opportunity to learn something new.

2. Partners Can Disagree
This is a big one. When venturing into the swinging lifestyle, it is vital that both people within the couple want to swing.

I have seen instances where one partner wants to swing, and the other partner will agree to this only to keep their partner “happy,” or the agreement to swing is uneven. The partners both agree to swing, but the rules they set up will be out of balance due to one partner’s fears.

Photo of threesome from Spring BreakersWhen venturing into the swinging lifestyle, it is vital that both people want to swing.
Instead of enhancing the relationship, the swinging ends up creating resentments between the couple. Remember honest communication has got to be at the core of any (whether you swing or not) successful relationship.

3. It Can Be Hard to Find Play Partners
Just because you and your partner have decided to open the relationship by way of swinging does not necessarily mean you will have an endless supply of play partners.

Photo of American Psycho threesomeJust because you’re swinging doesn’t mean you’ll have an endless supply of play partners.
Being able to find four people who all get along, are all attracted to each other, and have similar play rules can be a challenge sometimes, making play planning feel more like work sometimes.

4. Swinging Can Be Time-Consuming
Whether planning to play together or separately, whether playing in a swingers club or house parties, being able to devote enough time can sometimes be a challenge, especially when our time is already divided between work schedules, , sports, and family.

Photo of On the Road threesomeDevoting enough time to swinging can be a challenge, especially when it’s divided between work and family.
5. Fears Can Surface
We can be in fear of a wide range of possibilities, from fear of our partner leaving us for someone else to fear of giving or receiving to much attention with a play partner to fear of constantly comparing ourselves to others.

If left unexamined, our fears can create a whole array of emotions, including anxiety, resentment, and jealousy.

Photo of Alpha threesomeIf you’re able to talk to your partner about your feelings, fears become an ally to learning.
Most importantly, it’s necessary to remember our fears can be a pro or a con, depending on what you do with the feeling once it surfaces. If we take our feelings and react or fight against them, then they become an enemy, something to protect ourselves against.

If you are able to talk to your partner about your feelings and learn to talk yourself through them, then your fears become an ally to learning.

Either way, we will learn something. It just depends on what lesson we decide to focus on.

I encourage anyone interested in swinging or open relationships to take that all-important first step into the lifestyle pool to explore and see for yourself whether this lifestyle is something you wish to pursue.

For me it didn’t take long after that first threesome to step back from the pool, jump into the air, and yell “cannonball!”


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