Carpe Jamie: sexploration 2022
 
Living, Loving and Learning from A.F.F members
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Sex, Drugs, Dildos and Rock n Roll: The MEET-UP!
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 9:35 am
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2021 2:41 pm
3739 Views

The Meet-Up, The Meet and Greet, The Get Together: different names for an event where people in a chat room or on a dating service meet each other, in person. This weekend past, my cherry has been popped. I’m no longer an AF.f chatroom virgin…. well maybe that isn’t quite accurate … maybe the metaphor is more like my cherry is intact and I had heavy petting. I attended my first meet and greet. It was an afternoon affair, for 2 hours a small group of us chatters hung out outside a coffee shop and talked like we do in the chat room. I was nervous before the event (see my going to the meet-up blog post) not knowing anyone really well in advance and going “alone” to the meet. The advice I got from other AF.f members in advance was to bring condoms and be my authentic self. Thankfully, a chatroom member that I had been communicating for a while needed a ride to the event and took me up on my offer to drive her there. I am thankful that she took the risk to travel with me, virtually a stranger. She was so helpful in settling my nervousness because by the end of the drive I had a new friend. I had the opportunity to get to know her better and I had someone who I could cling onto if I needed a security blanket to get out of my shyness. She was so easy to talk to and just her presence gave me the confidence to continue on with meeting the rest of the chatters who’d arrived at the meet. Interestingly, all the other members who showed up, also didn’t come alone, perhaps they felt the same nervousness as I did in coming to the meet and they wanted to ensure they had someone they could fall back on if needed.

The other piece of advice that I was given in advance of the meet, was to be aware that clusters of people form and that I would not meet everyone. That advice was definitely right; even though we were a small group of 8 people; clusters did form where different conversations were had. Before the meet I had planned to not get confined to one group of people; but, in reality I fell into old habits -- I took a seat and stayed there for the entire meet-up. So, I ended talking to only a few people for a long time. I did want to talk to everyone, for just a bit--but it didn't happen. Oh well, I'll just have to go to another meet to talk to those people I missed. At the very least was able to say hello to everyone and just as I have come to know in the chat room, everyone there were friendly, nice people with interesting stories to share. I heard about past meet-ups from long-time AF.f members and some random stories of the fun times had at those events. I was welcomed into this group of long-time members and I was glad to get to know them better.

I'm very glad I went. It was eye opening, meeting in person reveals so much more than the cybersphere does! Attending meet-ups is definitely worthwhile as it allows for you to see if there really is a connection between you and other people you have chatted with on-line. Also, as everyone who has been to a meet-up says, it’s great to put a face (and a name) to the on-line handle we know so well. When you chat on-line you form pictures and ideas in your mind of people you text with; (as I wrote in my meet-up blog post) in person, those preconceptions become reality tested … communication becomes 3-Dimensional and more. Body language, facial expressions, subtext reveal the true you. My fellow chatters had a window into my soul and I theirs. How do you reconcile the pedestals that you’ve formed for each person you met on-line with the person you meet in real life? That is the benefit of meet-ups, facades begin to fall away and a living, feeling person comes alive in each member you meet.

Sex, Drugs, Dildos and Rock n Roll -- the meet didn’t even come close to the stories of wild meet-ups of the past (no condom needed but probably better to be safe than sorry). Maybe it was tame because the meet was COVID friendly, outside, in the middle of the afternoon and not in a night club. However, I enjoyed meeting my fellow AF.f chatroom chatters and moved further along the process of building friendships and connections with people who I’ve come to know and like over the past month. Who knows where this will lead? But I’m enjoying the journey and I look forward to the next time we meet up.

Do yourself the favor, of taking the risk, to experience a meet-and-greet if one presents itself to you. The possibilities are endless.

Let me know about your first meet and greet experience by leaving a comment below.
5 Comments
GHOSTED! Who you gonna call? Ghost busters
Posted:Sep 17, 2021 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2021 2:41 pm
3220 Views

Canadians think of themselves as very nice, polite, reserved and well-mannered people. We say please and thank you all the time, we hold doors open for those who follow behind us. And, of course, we’re always saying SORRY…even when something is not our fault. Diversity is our strength. We are like a UN peace keeping force, trying to deescalate conflict and trying to have everyone just get along. EXCEPT apparently in on-line dating, some of us have adopted the rude, mean and careless practice of GHOSTING.

I was chatting with a couple of people recently who were complaining that they had recently been GHOSTED! For those of you who don’t know what that it … it is cutting off all communication (blocking, ignoring, changing your email/phone number, etc.) with someone who you have been chatting/dating/with for some time. I’m obviously an old fogey now and maybe I don’t understand modern dating …. But there was a time, not long ago, where you break off a relationship in person. It would be considered trashy and poor form to break-up over the phone; and verboten to break up by text. When my fellow Af.F ers told me that they had been Ghosted I couldn’t believe the other person was so rude. How do you just drop off the face of the world after chatting every day and hanging out every weekend--without saying a word. Have we become a society of not caring about our love-interests or like–interests? Have we become so “polite” that we don’t want to hurt someone so we just avoid the difficult conversation all together? Are we just spineless, impolite people now and the anti-Canadian is the new Canadian? Initially I thought this was a one-off situation; but then after talking to other Af.Fers everyone has experienced ghosting at some time. in addition to COVID and opioids -- there is a ghosting pandemic going on.

I thought back to some of the people I met on this app and wondered, “Did I get ghosted?” or even worse “Have I ghosted someone?” I could only come up with two occasions in 30 days. What!? Two incidents in 30 days--that’s like a ghosting epidemic. Here are my stories: I had been messaging a woman back and forth for 2 weeks, It was important to her that we develop a connection before we met in person. I was good with a “blind date” but obliged her any way. I wanted her to feel safe that I wasn’t a jerk and I didn’t want to waste her time (or my time for that matter). We were chatting almost every day. Now, I have to admit, I didn’t feel that our conversations were flowing like passionate lovers; but we were for sure having friendly chats. Then I suggested we finally get together for a coffee. And that was the final message sent between us. No response. Perhaps I should have reached out again, but I never heard back from her again. I guess I got ghosted. Or did I do the ghosting because I never followed up? What’s for sure is the conversation just stopped. I would have appreciated a response—even if it was declining my offer at least I’d know what was going on from her perspective. Now I’m just left to wonder, what happened? Is she wondering the same thing? We’ve both seemed to move on…but I still feel a lack of closure. Shouldn’t there be some kind of etiquette? I’ve done a google search on dating apps etiquette and apparently, according to the Web, I was right not to message a second time…. But am I the only one who has referred to Ms. Manners dating etiquette?

Story number 2 is very similar to story #1 truly; however, I knew that in this case this woman was separating from her husband (be kind--not looking for judgement here – I’m just having coffee with a stranger). Again, after a week or so of messaging back and forth and sharing personal details about one another we got to that point again, where I proposed getting a coffee. My thinking is that going for coffee is a short commitment of time; so, if you think the person you’re meeting is not a match, then you can leave quickly, unlike dinner which is a longer commitment of time and it does send a different message. Now, the benefit of going for coffee is that if you hit it off with one another, then you can linger or extend the meet to a full-on date. Of course, this is a male perspective. The female perspective may be quite different. I’m open to hear from other women about their take on things.

Now maybe she wasn’t ready to actually meet someone – or more specifically meet me. Maybe being in public with another man (other than her husband) when you’re beginning a separation is not a comfortable thing to do. Maybe she was not leaving her husband after all. I do not know, because she never responded to my offer of getting a coffee. I was ghosted again. I still see she’s active on the app; but, it’s probably for the best that our conversation died there. All the same it sucks to get ghosted and people shouldn’t do it, it is not the kind thing to do.

Now I am a true Canadian through and through. So, to these two women that I might have ghosted, if indeed I did, I offer my most sincere apology. I’m sorry. I certainly don’t want be part of the ghosting epidemic too. Let’s end ghosting together and talk.

Please do leave a comment below, telling me about your insights, feelings or experiences about ghosting or about the stories I’ve shared.

Here are some links to dating etiquette for those who are interested

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/online-dating-etiquette-f_b_5488777
https://datingintorontoblog.wordpress.com/category/how-to/
https://datingxp.co/online-dating-etiquette/
https://torontosun.com/life/sex-files/online-etiquette-how-to-avoid-the-creep-factor

Wishing you the kindness of human connection and closure.

5 Comments
Going to the Meet-Up and we’re gonna get married?
Posted:Sep 16, 2021 10:58 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 11:51 pm
3201 Views

Ok those aren’t the lyrics to Chapel of Love ... and I’m not for a serious relationship at this time, given that I’m recently coming out of one. But, I am open to developing a friendship and explore the possibilities that may flow from it.

This weekend I’m going to my first Meet and Greet for AF.F members in my local chat room. There seems to be a great deal of excitement from fellow chatters, that this meet-up is happening. I think there’s a lot of COVID fatigue and pent-up desire to get out and meet others again. For me, two emotions are front and center in my heart and mind: Excitement and Dread.

I am very much forward to meeting the people I’ve been chatting with for the past month and seeing if there is real connection between us. At the same time, I’m dreading getting out of my comfort zone and shyness and having full-on conversations with relative strangers. When you’re hiding behind a computer screen and an anonymous handle, it’s easy to be brave, bold and brazen; but in person it becomes real … communication becomes 3-Dimensional and more. Body language, facial expressions, subtext will reveal the true you. My fellow chatters will have a window into my soul and I theirs.
Will the person in real life match my musings of the on-line persona I’ve come to know? I’ve tried to be authentic in the chat room … I assume most everyone else has been too….if they have not, I’m sure their deception will ring through in person. Who will be there? Ms. Right? Ms. Right now? Will the event live up to my expectations, surpass them? I hope. The countdown begins 3, 2, 1 ….

Tell me about the first Meet-Up you attended or chose not to attend. What were the highs, the lows, the regrets that you had? What tips and tricks made the event successful for you? What pitfalls did you encounter that I should avoid? Comment in the text box below. Inquiring minds to know.
7 Comments , 1 Pending
Chat Rooms: necessary evil?
Posted:Sep 14, 2021 10:42 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2021 11:53 pm
2761 Views

To group chat or not to group chat …. That is the question.

I’ve been on AF.F for one month now and I’m part of a, often large, group chat. The good thing about group chat is that is a relatively safe way meet and talk new people. You can come in and out of discussions as you desire and you can then decide you’d like chat privately with. Over time a community forms and you get know the regular chatters. I have met many lovely, wonderful people. They are interesting, engaging, funny, helpful and kind individuals. I look forward connecting with them each and every day. BUT, the conversations are often superficial. It’s very hard develop a connection … especially since chat rooms are so public. I find people are fairly guarded because of the of people present the conversation. However, I have been able have many deeper conversations over the past month.

So how do you really become friends (no quotes) and not “friends” (on the surface)? Answer: chatting in a private chat. There are a couple of ways to do that on the site luckily – for any level of membership. You can do so in the group chat area and in the blog space on the site to name two.

The downside that I’ve experienced in group chats is that from time time fights break out OR some individuals say some pretty offensive things from time time. Thankfully in those off-putting incidents on group chats – often the participants in the chat enforce the group norms and challenge those are behaving badly. There are many other downsides; but I think the benefit of actually meeting people and potentially developing more than a superficial acquaintance is worth participating in the Chat room discussions.

What do you think? Are chat rooms the best way get the most out of this site OR do you have a better way? Is the chat room a necessary evil or a hidden gem?

Comment below and let me know what you think and why.
4 Comments , 1 Pending
MMMMMMM ...YOU HAD ME AT HELLO -- A brief encounter
Posted:Sep 8, 2021 1:57 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2021 3:57 pm
2596 Views

Hello............H................Win..............Smile
Muah...........Lips..............Lic................Nibble
Slurp............Breath..........Haaaaaah.....Heat
Nec............Pec.............Suction.........Attach
Suc............Warmth........Swell..............Perk
Rub...............Kiss..............Salivate..........Touch
Cup....................................Caress...........
......................Tremble.............................Excite
Grab..................................Pull................
......................Embrace.....Smooch.........Tongue
Mouth..........Press...........Moan.............Rub
Zip...........................Flop................Stroke
Ahhh.............Slip.............Slurp..............Oooooh
Slide.............Ooooh........uh..................ahhhh
mmm...........a a ah.........oh oh.............oh my
gawd............squirt..........throb.............Oohhh
release.........mmm.........sigh................*sigh*
mmmm.......mmmm......mmmmm......mmmmm

I was thinking about the power of a word to conjure an image and how the combination of words creates an emotion, a feeling, a story.. Was I able to influence you in seeing the story being told? Was this experiment of a word / sound successful?
1 comment
AN APPETIZER BEFORE DINING
Posted:Sep 8, 2021 12:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2021 11:27 pm
2485 Views

Based on and to be read alongside Author51's blog
My best ASSets post entitled:

TITILLATE YOU TUESDAY - TO KISS HER BREASTS
posted Sept. 07, 2021

YOUR BREASTS RECIEVE MY TENDER KISS

You feel the touch of my palms on you breast
The curves and flesh softly fill my grasp
Your precious breasts an arousal facilitator
You draw into my embrace and your nipples respond to the touch
I feel your rosebud peaks harden and tingle
And grip you firmly while passionately kissing you
Your lips release their hold on mine, as you feel
My reverence and devotion to you, your body, your breasts
Perking up, silky and supple to my caress
You know the pleasure you bring to me
You feel my lips descend to join in the Joy
Feeling my lips on one breast and then the other
Watching me delight in you
Gently twisting and tugging your tantalizing tips
Just right to send tingles down your spine
offering this man- your nipple candy
You feel the flick of my tongue and the suction from my lips
Nourishing me with your feminine suppleness
Building desire in both of us
A taste, an appetizer for the sumptuous dining to follow
Boobtastic … Candy floss melting in my mouth.
2 Comments
Bondage: who’s in control?
Posted:Sep 4, 2021 10:09 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2021 3:18 pm
2547 Views

I’m no expert by any stretch of the imagination. But my foray into bondage was a long time ago with a University sweetheart. I was asking a female BlackSexMatch.com member about her interest in bondage. She told me that she’s not into it … she prefers to be in control. This sparked a lively convo in the chat room and made me think back to my experience with bondage and had control. I started being bonded first. I wriggled and giggled and tickled inside as my gf kissed me, licked me and touched me slowly in all the right places. I became harder and harder as her breath fell upon my chilled naked body. I was titillated; I was horny; I wanted caress her, I wanted enter her and thrust with great passion. But ugh I couldn’t move my arms. I couldn’t reciprocate the intense feelings I was having. I was excited and helpless, vulnerable and loving it. was in control? I felt she was … but, the more I responded her touch, her stimulation, the more she continued and pleasured me … , , !

As much as I wanted climax, we were not yet ready for us finish. My gf slid of the bonds from my wrists and began fastening them hers. I completed the bondage and then was my turn pleasure her. I began kissing her on the nape of the neck, working my way her earlobe. Gently pulling and briefly sucking with my lips. She responded with a slight moan. My lips softly met hers and our tongues touched ever so briefly. I was really excited, I hoped she was equally. I looked down and saw her nipples enlarged, hard. Was is the coolness of the air in the room? Or the heat of our experimentation with bondage? The pressure was mounting in my head. OMG what do I do next? How do I ensure that she is loving this as I was. I continued to kiss her working my way down from her lips to her breast. Caressing her with my lips and my tongue. She was vulnerable lying on the bed, waiting for my next move. is in control I wonder. Do I move down her lady bits? Do I linger at her breasts? Do I lick the whip cream from her navel? I certainly was unencumbered do what ever I wanted (with her consent of course) I wasn’t shackled the bed at this time yet I felt less in control than when I was bound. I wanted excite her, I wanted please her I wanted her wriggle, and giggle and tickle inside in anticipation of climax. Ohhhhh the pressure …

I was being controlled by my gf even though I was physically free. In bondage, is in control? Is control even a thing?
1 comment
Is there really love at first sight?
Posted:Sep 1, 2021 1:49 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2021 3:59 pm
2292 Views

You across a crowded room and lock eyes with the most beautiful person you have ever seen. You smile, and your potential love smiles bac You're drawn one another, the others in the room disappear. The murmur of chatter dims and all you hear is your heart beating faster and faster. You are being beckoned you see in his eyes a softness that beckons and welcomes you his embrace. You try away but are compelled be drawn this wonderful person. Can be love at first sight. Hello he says. you feel as though you have known him forever. in a past life. You seem be inexplicably connected yet you have said hello. Is this your intuition cutting through all the BS and you have found the love of your life? Is this even possible? Can 2 souls be connected without saying but a word. .....

I've been told this is not possible. You have to get to know someone for 2, 3 or 4 dates at least to build a connection.

What do you think?
4 Comments
A way to communicate!!!
Posted:Aug 29, 2021 3:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 22, 2021 7:13 am
2323 Views

I've heard this is a way that we can communicate. So I'm trying it out. Welcome to my blog. I love doing things with others for fun. I heard about a book where the author said yes to everything for a whole year. I am thinking about trying it to see what adventures I have. Is this naive? probably yes. You tell me.
2 Comments

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