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my trip to mardi gras
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my trip to mardi gras The road to Mardi Gras It is February, which so happens to be the month New Orleans holds its week long parade type festival. You all know it as Mardi Gras, filled with drunks, floats, and random acts of nudity and violence. I am not yet 21 so I am wondering how much fun, I will still be able to have. Its New Orleans so age is not really an issue here. They mostly just ask for ID at the clubs, fancy restaurants, and casinos. All the other little beer and margarita stands, just want your money. If you have never been to New Orleans famous bourbon street, during its festival time. I can paint you a vague picture of what it looks like, imagine lodo or your busy club district, at closing let out. yeah, u got all the drunk people littering the streets, now picture all those people stretched out over 15 blocks. When our clubs and bars are closing and having last call at 1:30 or 2 o clock, the New Orleans night life is just getting started. I asked the bartender what time they closed, he looks at me and laughs. He says closed huh, well we only shut down for an hour to wash the floors. I am beginning to think I will love here, as long as I don't touch the ground. For something like 7 days, they have different schools, churches, companies, or what ever showing off there marching bands, groups or floats. Never before have I seen so many police in one area before. They have cops in cars, trucks, on horseback, shit they even had a freeking police RV. What the fuck are they going to do with a RV, in the city. So they use all these police to deal with crowd control, and sometimes the crowd gets way out of control. I guess when you get that many drunk people together, fights and shit are bound to happen. Well sure enough right in front of me, and brawl was beginning to stir. I sat silently watching in the front row, waiting to see who was going to through the 1st punch, which started off with 2 guys yelling at each other. Then while they were yelling at one another, a female started instigating the situation. So it drew in more people, and apparently they starting picking sides. After the group grew to about 30 plus people, I felt the need to step back some. When all of a sudden, some azz hole threw a bottle right in the middle of these guys, it was like a fucking chain reaction. One guy hit another guy, a girl hit some guy, then some girl hit her, it was like watching one of those episodes right out of Americas wildest police videos. So were the fuck is John Walsh, sitting at home drinking wine. It didnt take long for the police to run up in the middle of all this chaos. I was thinking tear gas, a blow horn, and some tickets, which is not what was going to happen. The cops on horseback started hitting all the fighters with there Billy clubs, and with out dismounting, one of them ran over a lady and her . He didnt even stop to see if she was ok, he just made a b-line straight for one guy, who was pretty much kicking everybody elses azz. I guess a club to the back of the head, will put anyone in the right perspective. I am not kidding here people, ask anyone who has been there, the cops do not fuck around. If you give them lip, or act a fool in public, the NOPD will put your azz check. After a while, the cops had the situation under control, and meantime the stretchers took away the not so able to walk victims. Now that I have had my fill of violence for the night, I am off to get hammered. My 1st drinking spot is some beer stand, were I purchase a freaking 90 oz Budweiser. What the fuk is up with that, who in there right mind would invent a 90 oz bud. I didnt even think that the human bladder could hold that much at one time, and I am suppose to drink a hole 90 oz of this crap. Well It didnt take long for me to get tired of the bud, so I found a margarita stand. Some Mexican lady at the stand, was pouring generous portions of tequila in plastic cup that resembled a super big gulp from 7eleven. It was freaking huge, and I guess during Mardi Gras everything is super sized. The big gulp margarita was enough fuel to get me started, now I am ready for some action. Filled with liquor, and now Its time for me to find a club to sneak into. Lucky for me I brought my video camera to get some good footage while in there, and remember I am not 21 yet, so I have to be on top of my game. All the clubs were carding at the door, and I was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. One club in particular, was jammed packed, with a line down the street and around the corner. i seen a few girls go into the alley behind the club, so I decided to follow. I noticed a small circle of people standing by the back door, just talking to each other. Mmm, why not, lets go investigate and see what they are up too. Right when I stepped up to the group, the back door opens and a huge muscle built bouncer is standing there pointing his finger, you, you, you, and you, come on lets go and he signals for us to enter. Hellz yeah, with out moments hesitation I walk right on in, camera in hand. The place is packed, and the entrance we came in lead upstairs to the hard to get balconys. Yes, what a nice spot to get some good footage of half naked women showing off there goods. I get up there, and before I can even get to the outside section of the balcony, a waitress runs up to me, and forces a shot down my throat. what the hell is this I ask, she gives me a seductive look, and says, its on me honey I stare back her, and say, well its not on you yet, but soon it will be she knew what I meant, but i had to let her do her job, so I decided to talk to her later. Out on the balcony you can see it all, the flocks of men surrounding drunkin women. The strangely dressed groups, street performers, flashers, and dancers covered the entire street. I stole a bag of beads from some drunk guy, that wasnt paying attention. If I wanted to see some chichis I would have to bribe them with the good beads, which now I had plenty of. I dont need to get into detail, but I would point to one girl down below, make sure I made eye contact. Then I hold up the beads in my hand, ask her if she wants them, (of course she does). Only and only after she shows me a little nip, well I give up the beads. Too many times did I see suckers give up there good beads, and not even get a 5 second nip show. Now there is something you must be aware, not everyone will take what ever beads you have. The super hot fine women, will only show their junk if you have good beads. When I say good beads, they have to be original, unusual, huge, shinny, blinky, or fucking expensive. Trust me, these women that you see with a ton of beads around there neck, most likely aren't wearing the cheap crap that litters the floor every where you walk. Yes, if your poor, you can always get a hand full of beads off the floor, even though during the parade they pass them out. Its kind of funny to watch venders walk around pick up beads, and then resell them to some dumb tourist. But what is not funny, is the ratio of 1 girl to every 10 guys. How does anyone expect me to get any play, with 9 other weirdos looking over my shoulder. That's alright, cuz I think the waitress likes me anyway, I might as well pull her aside from her duties to do her duty. Happy Mardi Gras |
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