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I think we should have had covered that topic earlier than we did because it was time invested with no reward. This is a terrific post, Temptation - full of perceptive insights. For instance, your practice of not diving-in immediately to discussion of sexual preferences; the importance of personality and of determining whether you actually like a prospective partner before moving beyond conversation; the reality that pictures may not accurately reflect what someone looks like in real life; the precaution of being careful about sharing personal contact information. The one bit that I will like to circle back to though is your opening anecdote about having invested several weeks emailing back and forth with a married man who is available only for daytime meetings. You apparently concluded that your time had been wasted because you felt you had spent "time invested with no reward" . . . hmm . . . I'm going to assume that you felt some mental attraction to the man you spent several weeks exchanging emails with; that at least on a virtual basis, you liked his personality enough to carry on a multiple-rounds . . . and presumably enjoyable . . . flirtation. If instead of flirting with you via email for several weeks, your married e-pal had written "I want to cut to the chase - can you meet me during the work-week" . . . you might have simply said "No thank you - not possible" or have even ignored him and not responded. In which case you would have missed out on several weeks of entertaining email exchanges with a potential future partner. Now at least you know that you like the man's personality . . . at least the online version. And things have a way of changing over time. Perhaps his Wife will travel out of town to meet a relative; or go on a business trip . . . perhaps YOU will one day get an afternoon off, due to a dental appointment or because you put in extra overtime on some project or other. I'm not saying that you are wrong to think you had no return on your invested time - especially if you are on this site solely to find a friend for physical-fun. On the other hand, if you approach each interaction with a person who has sufficient game to attract initial interest from you . . . with the intention of becoming their friend . . . well, hey - friendship itself (even with no physical benefits) can be a return on time invested. If it turns out that you also lust after each other and have compatible schedules for play-dates, then wonderful. While if that part doesn't work out . . . at least not immediately . . . then you still have made a friend. At least I think this way. Because at my age - I'm 59 - I welcome any new friend who has a sufficiently interesting and fun personality to attract me over several weeks-worth of online flirtation. That's actually one of the things that prompts me to invest time reading and replying to people's blogs on this site. In past, I have made several - virtual only - friends this way. We may never meet, but I still feel fortunate to have invested time getting to know them. And if . . . some day . . . our paths do cross in the real world . . . that might turn out to be something lovely as a bonus. Great post - well crafted. Peace out, indeed - smile.
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it is interesting how you are so worried about time
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U bring up some interesting points. With every email provider u can set up multiple email 'names or profiles', without compromising your 'primary', email identity. I use 'professional', on my profile... Omg... Lol. I never gave it much thought. It implies that I work in an office... Just a generic term, but in Q&A I elaborate, if someone digs that far.. You're a complex lady... Best of luck! ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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9/18/2018 5:05 pm |
I read your "Invest of Time" with intrest. The one sentance that really hit me was "but I have to actually like the person I am having sex with." Good sex is in the mind and to have a real conection of two minds you really do have to have to like the person, not just like what they look like. Thankfully I've never had sex with a woman I didn't actually like. But then again I also believe that I will know if I am going to like someone, within a few minutes of meeting them.
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9/18/2018 5:06 pm |
Sorry didn't realise the photo would come out that big!!!!
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