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Redwolf5647 76M
6 posts
8/22/2021 8:55 pm

I will always reply to you; as long as I am able to breath. Now that is commitment; sometimes that can be scary. But I fear not; the only thing worse than no replay is never making a connection. Or worse yet, finding out too late that other person wanted to make a connection, but it never happened.


Bourre2020 61M

8/22/2021 9:19 pm

Hello, Jules, from the Antipodes.
I've sent messages saying, effectively, "Hey, thinking of you. Hope you're well.". Response: dead air. Not even a dial tone. Usually, I get "ghosted". Great conversation, fun exchanges, then nothing.

I'm enjoying the last days of Winter, actually It's a tad warmer than it should be, but windy. And now, overcast.
Take care, and stay safe
X


jajo696 113F
4287 posts
8/22/2021 9:47 pm

Yup....yup...yup. My last entry Silent Voices speaks to this...its like you go back in your head and question every interaction. Were they all lies.....

Its disappointing, frustrating, and disheartening to say the least.

Im with ya girl and this is why so many of us have lowered expectations and are skeptical of any interaction/s.

sad state of affairs ~

huggsss...


exsquid46 64M
640 posts
8/22/2021 11:22 pm

I have sent the same type of texts, only to have it go unanswered. When that happens, I give it a day just because they might have been busy. After that they get deleted from my phone.

I get so few people ever texting me first, but when they do, I always carry on a conversation with them. I would never just up and ghost someone.


GhostofH 65M
22788 posts
8/23/2021 4:49 am

I've been sending out messages to old friends (going through my Rolodex) and contact lists both long time friends, and those I've met on various sites.

The ones from the sites are one of two categories.... remember it is I who is the initiator..... One, we have several pleasant exchanges (e-mails or texts and perhaps even a phone call) and the second is sometimes short or terse and does not leave open for more. For example, I might say, Say *name* , been thinking about you. How is life and coping with everything? Add some more personal questions or information and all I get is a one word 'Fine' response. No return questions or asks. Nothing. So I guess the feeling is not mutual or they can't bother. It happens.

The first one's who do return the banter, usually end up in us actually meeting up for coffee/drink/lunch etc and catching up face to face. Others farther away usually end up in hour long phone conversations.

But I hear ya, Girl.... *smiles*


merlot5555 67M/57F  
1472 posts
8/23/2021 4:54 am

... ha... joys of the modern world.... I kinda miss the old style of communication.... when the phone rang... and you didn't know who it was... but you answered it anyway.... and then the long discussion with a desired friend.... at the end of an even longer telephone chord.... tucked around the corner so no one could listen in.... with the regular scripted ending of ... you hang up... no... you hang up.... etc etc etc .....

...carpe diem....


lindoboy100 61M
23969 posts
8/23/2021 5:07 am

I used to get them all the time from work contacts......

In real life though, sometimes other things intervene I guess.....

Hope you're well m'dear.....


DoctorBooty 43M  
6426 posts
8/23/2021 5:14 am

Get this from random exFWBs all the time, and usually a flatline afterwards.

Its annoying and makes me feel good at the same time. But they drifted away for a reason, and I just let it be after I respond.


CuriousCpl6774 56M/50F  
183 posts
8/23/2021 6:07 am

Yes, we've experienced this before. If we're being completely honest, we've probably even been guilty of it a handful of times. Though, we do try to get back to our friends, family, etc. who reach out to us in that way.

How do we respond? We respond in kind, much like you mentioned. We've always believed that we cannot control how others behave, but we have complete control over how we behave. As such, we try to be the best versions of ourselves as much as we can. So, we respond, hoping it's the beginning of a wonderful conversation.

Though, being ghosted, especially after contact is made, can be a little discouraging at times.

Happy Monday to you!!


TicklePlease 56F  
13851 posts
8/23/2021 6:13 am

The bitch in me had to be restrained from texting you "hey, thinking of you, hope you're well."

Yeah, I get those far more frequently than I'd like. For me, they usually continue for one or two more lines, into some kind of suggestive/racy talk so I know they're just wanting a fresh masturbatory thought... not an actual conversation or heaven forbid, meeting!


flannel_light 61F
4586 posts
8/23/2021 6:33 am

Funny that you write this post, because last night I had that to happen to me and he text for a few then I went to bed cause it was late. I think the next time he text me, I am simple going to say I am not interested and leave it at that. I was always the one who called, text, email and nothing. Yes I am short with my text, cause I hate to text. I prefer to talk on the phone , video chat or face to face. I gave up messing any one here on the site. They never respond even with No Thank you.

The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness.


heartshapedcock2 40M

8/23/2021 7:12 am

That's why I hate Facebook. I like to burn bridges with the past, but sites like Facebook reunite you with your past life. I wish the site would crash, I honestly don't get why it's so popular. It's like people just take for granted that you're on Facebook, "did you see what so and so put up?", uh no I'm not on FB. And they just look at you with a blank stare.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
8/23/2021 8:40 am

Hey Jules. This is a sad reflection of the times I think, although I have to say, just people ticking the virtual box of staying in touch rather than taking the time to actually do it. (there are a couple of people whose virtual box I would like to tick, but that is another blog post.!)

I am very lucky in that this fake helloing doesn't seem to happen that much to me. But then I am not terribly sociable - I have about five or six really close life long friends with whom I am in regular contact, and perhaps that kind of friend is less likely to do this. Perhaps my other, less close, acquaintances do it and I don't even notice, lol. They probably think it is me that is distant. But I just can't put my heart into a friendship unless it really means something to me, and those people are hard to find, (although they can crop up in the strangest places.) Er....have I strayed off the subject?

Anyway, the thing is, I have noticed I do get these kind of messages quite often now from random sources, like my local car repair garage and even people I am working with. This completely throws me! I had one yesterday from a client's lawyer, which started "hi Dreamer, I hope you are well and have managed to get away for a holiday." Then it went on to discuss the details of the contract we are working on. How the hell do I respond to these!? Mostly I ignore them, or say "well thanks and you?" before dealing with the actual issues. But I mean, I quite like this lawyer actually, and she has a sexy voice on the phone, so should I say "yes, all well here but can you make it round for a quick one some time?" Or do you think that would be going too far?

There is a possible, deeper explanation. Some times when I hear from someone after an absence i get the feeling they need me for something important but don't want to come straight out with it. A good example recently started with a "how are you" and I responded - "is this one of those just checking in texts? I'm okay but I get the feeling maybe you need to talk?" And it turned out there was a crisis and I was right. Maybe sometimes when I send a text just checking in, what I really mean is "can you dig a bit deeper please, there is something I need to talk about but I don't want to be needy and pester you if you are busy." It doesn't seem like your friends mean that, but worth bearing in mind just in case.


Leegs2012 51M
96137 posts
8/23/2021 9:42 am

Every now and then. A long time ago an old girlfriend called me left a message, phone#.
We had some hot times together. I called the # and it was the wrong#. I checked the # She had given me, called again just to make sure I did not hit any wrong #'s, and again She did not live there. Oh well.


justskin1 72M
13175 posts
8/23/2021 8:57 pm

I can't say that I have but I don't text all that much as I feel that a phone call conveys so much more info even when the words are the same and takes less time to do so. Also this is the only social platform I am on. Left the Faceyplace years ago. I have gotten weird texts that were obviously to a wrong number. When I do I text back that it did not go to who they thought.

I can see how getting such texts would be confusing. If they did not want to talk why bother texting? Also, I figure your response is appropriate and is an invitation to chat but I also figure that the one who started then has the obligation to carry the conversation forward with something to talk about.

If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin."

I always behave. Preferably not well.


CedarsPrince 44M
1608 posts
8/25/2021 8:07 pm

Yes, I have a few who contact me out of the blue and then disappear

I call them the Phoenix ladies. Rising from the ashes but I know they will disappear. It used to bother me before, but now I find it amusing...and they think it's funny when I call them Phoenix.


seingalt23 59M
5565 posts
8/27/2021 2:31 pm

I have to separate two groups for my response:

Yes, like your experience, e.g. the standard contacts on a business network, with former colleagues, etc. - we should have a drink, blabla - would be nice: but without an agreed day to do this - it will never happen.

Second group is totally different. Somehow it works in my life to stay in touch.

Strange, maybe: I´m still today in touch with my very firstgirl friend (starting with 15 year, one year relationship) and my second girlfriend (18y, seven years relationship - I guess, in this age an eternity). I met my first girlfriend last year again.

I was in contact with the girl, which received my very first kiss being 14, for about 15 years.

Last week I received greetings from a pen friend, who I know since 45 years.

My attitude, my feeling: who I loved once in my life, has a room in my heart as long as I´m living. I simply want to know, how her (or his) life goes. The wires are thin, but long lasting.

I´m thinking of you, just now, Jules. ... and the color of your eyes.
Do you already feel a kind of connection, Jules? A connection to

Giacomo


CedarsPrince 44M
1608 posts
8/29/2021 4:51 am

Jules1590 replies on 8/27/2021 8:27 pm:
"Phoenix ladies rising from the ashes..."

Waxing poetic my dear? Your analogy is far more romantic than my own Jules Junkies. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, they pop up sooo many years later. I guess I can leave an impression from time to time.


What can I say. When you get right down to it ....I am a hopeless romantic

Hasn't been years. Usually over a year, a sighting will occur and then they disappear into the abyss. There is one whose disappearance is approaching close to two years now but I still expect her to contact me one of these days.

In the end, it's nice for people to remember you than to be forgotten


69bud69 69M
7134 posts
8/29/2021 5:54 pm

It always feels wonderful when, out of the blue, I get a call from someone I haven't heard from in a long time. It's always a surprise, but, mostly a good one.
Yes, the question: How have you been? or I was just thinking about you. usually begins the conversation. However, just talking with someone whom I haven't talked with in a long time always gives me a good feeling inside.

Enjoy the last days of summer yourself Jules and have a relaxing Labor Day weekend.

Bud

Always Ready for Fun.


lunchandconvo 53F  
4034 posts
8/31/2021 5:17 am

in 2014 i had started to explore swinging...
and i was a regular at a club.
i was what 43/44 and my sex life was active to say the least.

i left Atlanta to take a contract post in Birmingham.
in Birmingham someone kept randomly texting me...
but it wasn't a number in my caller ID.
(oh my years of Roladex! i have two somewhere... one personal. one professional.)

and this wasn't someone who knew me well enough to know i had move.
so i'd get messages like...
driving through Atlanta and thinking of you!
i was in Atlanta this weekend and thinking of you!
etc.

as i had no clue who this was and i wasn't going to Birmingham to Atlanta for a hookup...
i just ignored the texts.
these texts went on for like 6-12 mo!!
and not one said WHO it was or HOW they knew me!

as for friends...
some can be so disappointing with keeping in touch and making time.
i'm so busy with work that i missed my HS BFF's brother post he has another child!

when i have a moment i try to scroll the BookFace but i just can't watch every post that goes up!

XO!


Daytimer09B 55M
901 posts
9/1/2021 5:40 am

The crickets are always a downer, even when you are reaching out to someone who you thought was a good friend. There is one lady who she and I really hit it off well but then something happened and it is all crickets now. I still will email her from time to time with a short email letting her know she was on my mind. I really do miss chatting with her and maybe one day she will reply again. Until then, it does make me feel a little better just putting it out there.


CarpeJamie 54M
289 posts
9/17/2021 12:43 pm

What timing seeing your blog. I just made a similar post on my blog. Welcome to the Ghostdemic. Apparently it is world wide!! Let's all do our part to wipe out the ghosting virus.

Wishing you the kindness of human connection and closure if needed.

If you wish to contact me, I've setup a private Mailbox Private message Area WHAT39S IN THE VAULT STAYS IN THE VAULT in my Blog. CarpeJamie

Check out my Blog CarpeJamie


Lippenbalsam 63M
306 posts
9/17/2021 11:10 pm

I know that too.
Just like dear contacts with whom you have written for a long time and who suddenly delete their profile without saying goodbye.
Chats that end abruptly ..
Or people who don't come to the meeting, or who don't cancel a meeting.

Yes, many people have now developed a completely different understanding of social interaction than I have.
But not only on the Internet, also in real life I increasingly come across socially incompetent people.
I am always happy when not only superficial courtesy is observed but real interest is noticeable.

Nachrichten an mich>> Privater Briefkasten Mailbox


Wantolder4fun1 35M
14 posts
9/19/2021 8:26 pm

Yes it is hard to tell sometimes just trust your gut.


SocialnFriendly 54M

11/29/2021 6:55 pm

The best of the best is when, instead of returning a response, you simply pick up the phone, dial back their number and .... NO ANSWER! I mean what the hell@!#%. They only text your phone a second ago!


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